Admit to your poo-touching. - Admit to your misdeads

[Abowaffen]

Which lolcow did you contact or attempt to contact?
What did you send them and why?
Do you repent?

 

[vomitusdeux]

The closest I ever came was telling Labelle that he's a piggish pedophile man on one of his facebook posts. He instantly deleted it and started crying about transphobia in his comments.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

None because I'm not some gay niggerfaggot with a pathological attention seeking complex.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

I admit it. I killed Christian Weston Chandler. It was me.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

I used to fuck with Jim Sterling a bit before I came here but due to the rules I actually stopped.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

In Russell greers book why I Sued Taylor swift he talks about a lawyer named ken who egged him on and agreed with everything he said. It was me I am Ken I wanted Russ to make a fool of himself by suing Taylor swift. In order to get away from Russ once my plan was complete I hired some mexicans from home depot to firebomb my car and office under the guise of pissed of Taylor swift fans.

 

[GenericEdgelordSupreme]

I have to touch poo on a fairly regular basis to clean up after my cats. It's no big deal if you wash your hands after, but that might just be the toxoplasmosis talking.

In the other context, I've argued with the pedophile dogfucker tranny who posts on here who looks like an old male hippie. I forget his name, but he's always trying to justify his pedophilia and dogfucking by saying the dog and the underage girl wanted it. I can't imagine anyone wanting to fuck that creature, so I'm sure he's mistaken. Those conversations took place here at the farms though.

 

[Meat Target]

When we were in exile on Mastodon last year during the Keffalcaust, I may or may not have mouthed off at Taylor Lorenz. I called Paul Krugman a piece of shit on one of his first posts.

I also sent an anonymous tip to the FBI about Giggly Goonclown. Not that I expected them to do anything about it. But at least I can know for sure that, as long as Goonclown remains out of jail, those corrupt, crossdressing fascist fucks are ignoring a known pedo and failing to do their jobs.

In all cases, I was doing so in my own capacity as an individual citizen, not on behalf of the Farms. And since none of them responded, does that even count?

 

[Nick Gars]

I've contacted every last one, and we're all homies now. You see, I'm actually an ultra degenerate secret double agent and behind the scenes I have been working diligently to be the serpent in the ear of every Lolcow. All their antics and foibles, mere acts, a ruse cruise for all you big smelly Kiwi chuds. You didn't take my personal army request seriously, so I built MY OWN personal army to wage total war upon your precious farms. Right now as we speak my agents are pretending to be retarded, shitting their pants and fucking dogs all in the name of bringing down the Farms. You underestimated me, Null, as a great cuck once said "usually I'm the puppet master in these situations".

You think Amos Yee getting arrested was him just being a pedophile retard? Nah, little nigger, he's an S grade mole who gets my government secrets. You think Jack Scalfanni actually had a stoke? Wrong again, we "hospitalized" him to update his firmware. You think Ethan Ralph is really just a drunken reta--... OK, he actually is, but he's also the greatest ass cocaine smuggler of all time and often sells to Hunter Biden to fund our operations.

My military is vast and stinky, most of them don't even have dicks (because they chopped them off), but what we lack in competence, we make up for in sheer numbers and an unearned sense of moral and spiritual superiority. We do not forgive, we do forget, and we're marching to Serbia right fucking now, so prepare your Kiwi asses for the Rise of The Lolcow.

 

[Honey's Dead]

Only one I really fucked with was King Keffals on Twitter when I had an account... But since becoming a member here I don't...

And as much as I want to fuck about annoying Nick Ralph, I am not sure he needs my help to his destiny as a LOLCow.

 

[Sonic]

Back during the Golden Knight era, I was the Sadomasochistic Valkyrie/Scheisse until I dropped the screenshots and let another Kiwi take over the account (The chick with the flame porcupine Pokémon upside down, pretty sure she is still active? littlebuscuits I think?) because I was 18 years old and he was beginning to actually make me uncomfortable. Lost the password to the alt account I used to drop the chat screenshots.

 

[I've Seen Some More Shit]

ManlyTears/Britbong was shilling himself in a /v/ thread and I had used one of his own posted selfies to play tic-tac-toe on his fivehead with another anon.

 

[The Blue Morpho]

I sent KingCobraJFS a care package years ago, before I had an account, not to troll him or for attention just because I thought it would be fun. It wasn't, he's horrible to deal with and so fucking lazy the post almost sent the package back.

 

[GigaChad]

Just going into twitch chats and sperging out until i get banned. This includes Boogie, Hasan, Destiny, DSP, Wings probably a couple of others that i forgotten

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Once I negrated Null.

 

[Justanotherguy]

I enjoyed reaching out to the IP2 streamers. I spoke with Goocheese and Atilla. I told Goocheese she was a useless human being a drug addicted asshole. Atilla I told to quit hitting his wife and lay off the drugs.

I don't repent, it's part of the show.

 

[AgendaPoster]

How could I contact cow if I don't even enjoy reading their shitty thread 99% of the time

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Once I negrated Null.

Once, Null negrated me.

 

[Nick Gars]

ManlyTears/Britbong was shilling himself in a /v/ thread and I had used one of his own posted selfies to play tic-tac-toe on his fivehead with another anon.

Dominic is one of those cows that just fucking inserts himself everywhere to the point that I wouldn't be surprised if 60% of the user base here has interacted with him unknowingly. I've had his stupid fucking ass come screeching at me on several platforms on various usernames just because he's that fucking persistent on picking fights and trying to be "da big alfha trool". Even when you try to ignore his existence, he just won't fucking let you. Living herpes.

 

[dfsdsfdsadsa]

this might be a slight powerlevel here but there's a category of kiwifarms splinter chat known as a "lolcow petting zoo". right now there are four official cows with threads, along with 196 who are just autists or local telegram cows. most of us got invited there simply for being interesting in the now-defunct kiwifarms chat.
i won't specifically say which cows are there but theres a tranny therian, a fedora-wearing pooner, a controversial furry pooner who rarely posts, and a very nice schizophrenic man.
but the cows there are all ones who voluntarily joined sneedchat so it's not like I'm going out of my way to contact them, they just happen to be in the group I'm in.