[9-17-16] Phil's really starved - Please give asspats!

[Chan the Wizard]

What happened to the crazy Jewish lesbian lady who painted with her menstrual blood, wasn't she one of Phil's most hardcore asspatters?

IIRC she's still there, but keeps her asspats private because she knows we're watching.

 

[ON 190]

A refreshing glass of liquid mercury. It's good for what ails ya!

 

[The Omen King]

My new invention, the "hot-arse" cocktail: two parts delicious hotdog water, three parts arsenic.

Spoiler

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Happy hour at the A-log lounge.....

 

[Trombonista]

Hot sauce and ginger ale.

 

[Deadpool]

A vial of concentrated super AIDS.

 

[RI 360]

is it possible to spike kool-aid with reality?

 

[The Dude]

A cocktail of Bacardi 151 and Carfentanil (look it up) with a sulphuric acid chaser.

 

[Ol' Slag]

I would buy Phil a couple of O' Douls.

Watching Phil pretend to be drunk off non alcoholic beer would be hilarious. His autism would go nuclear as he would try to invent ways to make people perceive that he was infact intoxicated.

 

[Twrx]

I would buy Phil a couple of O' Douls.

Watching Phil pretend to be drunk off non alcoholic beer would be hilarious. His autism would go nuclear as he would try to invent ways to make people perceive that he was infact intoxicated.

That reminds me of this Adam Sandler skit.

 

[Bassomatic]

Wait Phil I pay the tab for your life, shouldn't you pick up the bar tab?

The dalwhinnie neat a double. Put it on that bouncing and squeaking mans tab barkeep.

 

[4Macie]

Phil's assuming a lot from this post... like that anyone would be willing to be seen in public with him long enough to buy him a drink...

 

[Arkangel]

I'd buy him shots of mezcal and deny him a chaser. If he's true blue Hispanic he won't need it.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Drain-O.

 

[Pillow]

Phil is so insufferable, not even W33Ns would want to drink with him ironically.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I'd just get him a glass of water and tell him it's laced with LSD, just to watch him staggering around and pretending to be tripping balls.

In general I think it would be a bad idea to buy him any alcohol in quantity. Given his "substance abuse" posts, it's fairly obvious that he wouldn't know his level and would absolutely drink more than he can handle in order to show what a badass he is, prior to chundering everywhere and passing out.

 

[FatNero]

Is there a drink that will let him become a lucid human being for two hours, realizing how he's fucked his entire life, and realizes he only has so much time before he slips back into being Phil forever.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Is there a drink that will let him become a lucid human being for two hours, realizing how he's fucked his entire life, and realizes he only has so much time before he slips back into being Phil forever.

In the Discworld books there was Klatchian coffee, a drink that sobers you up so much that it causes you to see the unpleasant truths that you normally ignore.

That being said, based on his desperate posts lately, I think Phil may be heading towards that stage. He's definitely having difficulty with the concept that actually, maybe he's not special or important, and fishing for sympathy is not the same as being likeable. With this post, he seems to have gone from "I have so many problems, I need support," to, "Is there anyone out there? Anyone at all?"

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Water laced with a little soap.

 

[Null]