5/22/2019 - Tom gets a TV interview - And they can only play about two sentences

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Tom plays the sax
He sucks to the max
He begs for cash
So he can get him some hash
But no one in Tuscon
Likes to hear his song
So he plays for free
And gets trolled by Tyree
 
I called it! Turtles CAN play Kmart saxophones on local turkey news... Wheres my $20 Gook Choy?
 
TUSCON
a poem by Sparkletor

The cars rush by
People too busy
To stop
And smell
The week old ground beef
Cradled in the city's womb
A dumpster
But Tommy will
TRANS form
The discarded meat
Into a
WONDERFUL
Meal

And all the cockroaches clapped
 
Who'd have thunk it, Downtown Tucson looks like Downtown Calgary but even more depressing, doubly so with Tom's... erm, music?
 
There once was a man from Chicago
Who liked to jerk off his doggo
He gave her a wank
In an act so rank
It left all with feelings of sorrow
 
Dick Pooman powiedział(a):
That's a soprano saxophone. Professionals usually use the straight version like Kenny G's because the curved one looks like a toy.
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Straightened soprano gets to a similar length of larger saxophones. You have it out in front of you its a bit more familiar regarding where it lies near your body.

I'd have to take a look at some different models, but curved ones might have different ergonomics: Finger positions might actually be smaller as there is less room for the key work.

If what I said doesn't really make sense watch footage of Tommy holding the horn. He's a little smaller than average but you see the horn doesn't really cross his midline. When I sit with my alto it lands directly in front of me in-between my legs and about an inch or two off the chair if I'm in playing position. My arms are also in a comfortable spot where I'm not crunching to hold the horn. If I were to hold his soprano it would be way out in front of me in a very, VERY awkward way and as a result my arms would be wonky. With a straight soprano you have more space for the instrument, and how its held would be a bit more like Alto or tenor.
 
From what I can gather, Tom has no idea how to play anything on the sax and less knowledge of what sax he should be playing. I think he just strings together random notes and claims that makes him some sort of musical savant.
 
YourUnclesDad powiedział(a):
Of course a boring worthless news segment would feature Tom as the main attraction. If they only knew he was a kiddie rapist. I wonder how much rambling nonsense they had to sift through to find something suitable for TV.
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My favorite part was when she announced Tooter as Tommi Jayne. I'm sure Tommy thought that that adding the Jayne at the end would make his female soul more apparent when it just sounds like a surename and Tom still looked like a man. I don't understand why they're always publicizing hobos on TV.
 
Mariposa Electrique powiedział(a):
My favorite part was when she announced Tooter as Tommi Jayne. I'm sure Tommy thought that that adding the Jayne at the end would make his female soul more apparent when it just sounds like a surename and Tom still looked like a man. I don't understand why they're always publicizing hobos on TV.
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Well, this is awkward.
 
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