[29 Dec '18] Fat Potato Runs in Public - To Prove Fitness to Kiwi Farms

[Tragi-Chan]

Artist’s impression of Phil using his catlike agility and mighty physique to escape the clutches of the fash.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Incoming headlines about the Missing Link discovered waddling around Portland.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Phil running is like watching a piano made of meat falling down the stairs in slow motion.

Don't get plowed by the bull-eunuch.

 

[Optimus Prime]

My internet stalker-bros of Kiwi Farms insists that I am out of shape.

You can't even ride a bike that isn't stationary you fat lardass.

I think a 217 pound Latinx Trans Girl can and will totally be able to plow fash down pretty good.

It's not just weight that matters - your metabolism is probably shot to hell, you have little to no vitamin intake, and your calorie intake is on par with Hamber.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The video runs faster and more consistently than Phil.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Fat Potato Runs in Public

Talk about carbo loading.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Is there a half-speed version of Yakety Sax? Cos that video needs it.

 

[Florence]

Honestly reminded me of this Chris video:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=IxLsWumqfuU

No matter what Phil does, he’s doomed to be a second-rate OPL.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

But can he ride a bike?

 

[Tiamat]

You really showed us by jogging for 25 seconds with such labored breaths one might think youre about to go into cardiac arrest, Phil.

 

['tism]

Well, I feel better about myself now. thanks Phil.

 

[Done]

No matter what Phil does, he’s doomed to be a second-rate OPL.

He's second rate in everything in life.

But that BO is probably equivalent to the world's best mustard gas.

 

[CatParty]

And yet fatty will “riot” if he doesn’t eat

 

[MasterDisaster]

Okay using my start of the art audio technology I found out that Phil had actually altered the video by lowering the sound sync so he didn't sound as bad as he already did.

I give to you the 100% unaltered video.

 

[RP 520]

All it takes is an outstretched leg+gravity to ruin his delusions of being a L4D tank.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

DEAGLE NATION STILL LIVES

 

[Francis Dollarhyde]

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And yet fatty will “riot” if he doesn’t eat

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He is like a T-34 tank indeed, but only half a tank. All the mass, no cannon, slow as fuck in the tankworld.

 

[MacMasonry]

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Oh my

 

[nvrwastetree]

That huffing and puffing doesn't sound healthy, given that he doesn't appear to be moving much faster than walking pace.

I guess he's running at night to avoid the humiliation of being seen by large numbers of people.

I wonder what else we can get our pet piglet to do? I personally don't think he'd dare to kick Toren out and take his own bedroom back.

What someone in this thread mentioned is to have Phil proves he's not scared of facists by actually fighting one...physically, not verbally. I agree, Phil should stomp around his hovel for 30 minutes, convince himself that toren needs to go, then bardge directly into torens room and demand that his fake tranny ass leave. Phil would then get punched in the face for his efforts. Seriously, it would be a win-win situation for you Phil, you can either beat up a facist pig, or kick toren out. Your call

Jingles thinks we're going to home invade him, but little does he know we've enlisted his abusive fascist ex Richard "Terra" Jones, a known Kiwi Farms user, to creep on Phil's bus territory, starting with his ride back to Chicago from Memphis. Phil will never suspect a surprise troon attack on his beloved buses.

Phil also doesn't know that we've already recruited toren to our cause, and more recently, his mother and Dale.

You really showed us by jogging for 25 seconds with such labored breaths one might think youre about to go into cardiac arrest, Phil.

I think this may have legit been the first time phil ran post high school.

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And yet fatty will “riot” if he doesn’t eat

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What I find funny is that the one person who posted a reply to Phil's Twitter might have been subtly talking shit to him, and Phil's none the wiser. So, Phil's workout routine (doesn't the dipshit have a gym membership he can use) is running at full speed for 25 seconds then stopping for 5 minutes so he can catch his breath? Just a reminder Phil, sitting around, pretending you're smoking weed, eating junk food, begging for money, cosplaying in that new tarded vest of yours, feeding your delusions that you're an important figure in antifa and masterbating does not count as a job Phil. Also, why are you doing a 180° and mentioning that you're going to riot if you don't get your food stamps when not even 2-3 weeks ago, you said you don't care if the government takes them away from you? Is it because you're slowly starting to realize how astronomically stupid you are?

 

[RL325]

Hahahahaha

I like the barely any speed, and fatty slowing to a walk after like a 100 feet.
This is like when super potato tried to fire a rifle and didn't know what he was doing.

You be your shitty soviet tank. Don't aspire to anything greater like good ol' American armor that has yet to be destroyed by an enemy in combat.