2019-11-20 - Emergency, Emergency!

[Scarlett Johansson]

Wu's using straight up prosperity gospel scam tactics.
Have you ever seen a political campaign sink to these depths to get such tiny amounts of money? If you're going to run a scam, then at least run a good scam. This is embarrassing.

Tammy Faye would NEVER. How DARE you.

Iim would tho. He still does. Except for the end times.

 

[Captain Chromosome]

Hey Joshua,

Brianna here.

I'll get right to the point. I need you to RUSH a flesh donation to my re-inversion surgery.

This is a make or break quarter for me, because my opponent, Senator Harsh Reality, is flush with corporate SAC money, and they're doing everything they can to stop me.

The question at hand is straightforward: Will we continue to dilate and remove pus-coated hairballs for the remainder of our severely shortened lifespans, or will we fight back and lead the way forward for double inversion surgeries? There's no way to sugarcoat this - if we stay the course, we are DEAD.

This campaign is not just about my struggle - it's about triumphing over Senator Reality and his hate-filled supporters. Over 20,000 new transpeople have registered to vote here this year, of which 11,800 are still alive! We need to knock on their doors and get them involved.

It's not just this election on the line. It's 2020, 2022, 2024 and beyond. We can win, but we cannot win without your help. My double inverse pseudophallus is counting on you.

Please donate what you can now.

If you've saved your payment information with your local Kaiser Permanente, your donation will ship immediately:
CHIP IN 5mm NOW CHIP IN 20mm NOW
CHIP IN 50mm NOW CHIP IN 1cm NOW
CHIP IN 1 foreskin NOW CHIP IN replacement testicles NOW
ANOTHER AMOUNT



Thanks for your support,

Bri "Soon to be Brian" Wu

 

[Smug Cat]

Am I the only one who took a while to figure out Wu was talking about his election race, not his ethnic background race? with the ongoing reeeeeeee about anything right of Ocasio Cortez being racist, that was an interesting phrase for Wu to use. He probably wasn't smart enough to do it deliberately, though you know plenty of people who don't know him assume he/she is a Chinese immigrant due to the name.

If Wu is such a fine upstanding Democratic canidate, why would another democratic candidate be doing all they can to stop him? Lynch patently doesn't give a fuck about Wu, but Wu is fantasising this as some sort of adjunct to the Dem leader nomination race.

I guess new wheels for the Porche(s) to replace rattle-canned "renovated" ones cost money.

I straight-up didn't realize he was talking about his election race until I read your comment. I was like "...white people? OK I guess.."

 

[AirdropShitposts]

It's not just this election on the line. It's 2020, 2022, 2024 and beyond.

I'll take this as an official declaration by Congresswoman-elect Brianna Wu for future Democratic primaries.