05/15 - Phil Phights Ba... Wait, I swear I've done this before... - In which, yet again, Phil conphiscates another phucking phone

[obliviousbeard]

I'd pay all of my 13 dindu nuffins to see Phil do a naruto run irl.

Atsimu Waddle no Jutsu

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

I love how, despite supposedly confiscating what, 5 phones? Phil has not yet been arrested for mugging people. Not only does he expect people to believe that he can overpower another human being, he also wants people to ignore the fact that he'd be classed as a serial fucking mugger. Phil's asspatters must be dumber than him, if I may paraphrase: Who's more Phoolish, the Phil or the Phool who follows him?

 

[Guy Smiley]

The other part that I love is that in his own power fantasy, Phil only caught the guy because he tripped.

 

[nhocgreen]

His first reaction to a kiwi over the phone is terrified blubbering so I can only imagine the incontinence that would result irl

Whoa whoa whoa what's this story about? Is there a recording or transcript?

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Atsimu Waddle no Jutsu

Shitmyselfanddonothing no Jutsu

 

[Darndirty]

I love how, despite supposedly confiscating what, 5 phones? Phil has not yet been arrested for mugging people. Not only does he expect people to believe that he can overpower another human being, he also wants people to ignore the fact that he'd be classed as a serial fucking mugger. Phil's asspatters must be dumber than him, if I may paraphrase: Who's more Phoolish, the Phil or the Phool who follows him?

They don't arrest you for mugging fictional people.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

They don't arrest you for mugging fictional people.

If he had mugged those people, he'd have been arrested right away. The Kiwi would have reported the crime to the police, he (always he, because we're all alt-right cishet dudebros) would be able to identify Phil right away, all the information needed to find him is right here and he publicly confessed the crime.

He views everyone else as NPCs, there purely to advance his own story. In his narrative, literally all Kiwis do is stalk him and as soon as he's dispatched them, they cease to exist. If someone said, "And what did the Kiwi do then?", he'd be totally stumped.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

In his narrative, literally all Kiwis do is stalk him and as soon as he's dispatched them, they cease to exist.

In ADF's cheese-addled brain, it's like Pac-Man, but with ADF wearing a helmet, Kiwi Farms logos, blocks of cheese, and pizza slices.