FIGGIN 01-11-19 Phil bounces and squeaks about his couch

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Post your couch then Phil, and then throw the vodka ogre out and claim it as your own.
 
Lol at Phil spending his tard bux on two beds. Housing will probably provide him with one but that second one is probably either a couch, fold out bed or a matt on the floor that wouldn’t look out of place in a homeless camp site.
 
You don't have to lie to make friends, Phil. Just be sociable and practice hygiene.

I'm asking too much. Disregard.
 
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Speaking of Greta, it sure is strange that even though Phil is perfectly capable of getting himself to SF (and used to do so regularly) to hitch a ride, Nina and Greta still haven't taken him to hang out with them in the desert. In fact, to our knowledge he is still yet to meet them in person.
 
Phil actually did e-beg for a bed, that much I can actually believe. How his landlord will feel upon discovering that the couch is gone, I can only speculate.
Phil still mad that we still call him by his name and his actual gender.

Stay mad Phil, you sad little man.
His selective censorship is fascinating. The fact that we laugh at him for pretending to be a tough guy when he's so cucked that he can't even use his own bedroom is absolutely fine, the world can see that. But he absolutely will not let anyone know that we call him Phil and that we refer to him as male. I guess it's just the fact that his raisin brain can only handle one thought at a time, and "Phil" is the easiest thing to process.

I also love the bit where he tries to save face by challenging us to actually invade his apartment. He doesn't remember that his original reason given for moving out of his room was to protect his home from the threat of invasion that we never made. It feels futile to point out yet again that no one wants to invade his apartment.
 
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Speaking of Greta, it sure is strange that even though Phil is perfectly capable of getting himself to SF (and used to do so regularly) to hitch a ride, Nina and Greta still haven't taken him to hang out with them in the desert. In fact, to our knowledge he is still yet to meet them in person.
I can't blame them for that; I wouldn't want to meet Phil in person, either.
 
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:story:


Way to insinuate you subjugated a fellow transperson to do your bidding for you, you sack of shit. I'm sure Greta would appreciate you claiming their actions were solely because of your whim as if they were your personal minion. #Transequality
This is a fascinating retcon, and I think I know why he's done it. Phil's war with us has been an eternal cycle of failure. Time and time again he's tried to score against us, and on literally every occasion he's failed, mostly because he fundamentally fails to understand the situation - we're not trying to destroy him or cause him to fail, we're just watching him do all that to himself and laughing.

The Greta business was an incident that Greta plays up as a great victory over the farms. Phil thinks that by stealing the credit for arranging that, he can pretend that he has succeeded in scoring against us. He hopes that we're as tardified as him and won't remember that he had nothing to do with it.

Phil: there's an important detail about this that you are failing to take into account. You notice that Null is still alive, and the Farms is still active, even after Greta went after him? That's because she was foiled. She was foiled because Null was taking a shit. That is what you're trying to take credit for. Proof that a Kiwi taking a dump is more effective than your hero in full attack mode.
 
Phil: there's an important detail about this that you are failing to take into account. You notice that Null is still alive, and the Farms is still active, even after Greta went after him?

Whereas Greta got kicked out of her own non-profit and can't even get a job. Phil should take credit for that, too, given that Greta would never have come to our attention had she not tried to white-knight for Phil.
 
Phil: there's an important detail about this that you are failing to take into account. You notice that Null is still alive, and the Farms is still active, even after Greta went after him? That's because she was foiled. She was foiled because Null was taking a shit. That is what you're trying to take credit for. Proof that a Kiwi taking a dump is more effective than your hero in full attack mode.

Whereas Greta got kicked out of her own non-profit and can't even get a job. Phil should take credit for that, too, given that Greta would never have come to our attention had she not tried to white-knight for Phil.
To add to that, Kjel is slipping further and further into delusion as his and Curry-Nigger's money drains. Where as Null currently sits in his bunker drinking vodka, issuing orders to Kiwi Kommandos on who to dox and deadname next, and making sure the site stays running so they cannot run from their past. He lives the life Phil desperately wishes; being an actual commander.

Semper Fidelis Komandir Null.
 
To be fair there are folding beds that can be converted back and forth between couch and bed form, like the world's lamest Transformer. If he even has one though there's probably so much junk on the floor that there isn't even room to ever unfold it. So for all practical intents and purposes, he just has a couch. Loser.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he'd gone out and bought a second hand pull out couch or somehow found a way to drag one in that he found on the side of the road.
 
I don't believe this "so-called" queen bed

I do. There is a bed. It has a queen on top of it all day every day. A queen bed.

Also Phil, nobody is coming to invade and hurt you. I think, hypothetically, if anyone invades, they come to love you and test out the goods fresh from the scalpel. Did you have anyone do a QA check yet? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
You would think that if Phil actually did have a bed in the living room then he would have simply posted photos of it instead of tarding out on social media. It's almost as if Phil is lying about sleeping on a bed instead of a couch and posting pics of it would prove us right yet again.

And what "surprise" does he have waiting for us if we did break in? A huge pile of pleather pants that he's shit himself while wearing? Because it sure isn't a gun of any kind.
 
I'm more concerned about how he shares his urine output with all and sundry. Not a doctor, but isn't low urine output a possible sign of an infection down there?
We all already know that pseudo snatch of his is infected. That’s why he doesn’t post anymore pics of it: he doesn’t want to let us know it’s turned into blue waffle.
 
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