💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Joycondrift]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdvQtwRm1l8
Oh look, Jack stole again. Shocker. Published in August 2020. Also includes the extra caramel drizzled on top.

How frumpy and boring is your life where you as an adult can't even mention sex.

Jesus Christ.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Spoiler: Powerlevel time

I visited a family member this past weekend who had two strokes (believe me the irony is not lost here) within 48 hours of each other. One week after the fact they are up and moving (albeit much slower) and regained a majority of the functionality in the side that was affected. Why? Because they immediately went to work PTing the affected side. Jack choosing to 'pray the stroke away' is negligence of the highest order.

Also: the park Jack went to is most likely Moss-Wright Park, as it is about 4 miles away from his home. If you look on the map, you will see a red trail and blue trail. The blue trail is 3 miles, and the red is 2. Jack couldn't even finish the red trail. Pathetic.

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EDIT: It's also 3 minutes away from yet ANOTHER strip mall mexican restaurant, Pueblo Viejo.

That explains it. He waddled down to the strip mall, ate a bunch of tacos, then slowly waddled back and that's why he isn't sweating. Either that or his scooty-puff is parked just off camera.

Didn't know Profile by Sanford has a condom line - pumpkin spice flavoured too! Perfect for a manly macho man like Jack Scalfani!

Just another example that he's got the tastes of a young white woman including his desire for dick.

I know it's been said before, but half of Jack's posts come off like something a teenage girl would write. You just know there is some drama associated with this, but instead of directly dealing with it he just passive aggressively vague posts.

Which makes his love of Pumpkin Spice with a side order of cock even funnier.

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=P7-RBGCdDq0Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Better Than ex Cake_480p.mp4

And once again, that looks fucking vile. And there is no way in hell he's still on a diet if he's making and eating this cake. Stop lying Fatty Doo Doo! You're being really bad at it.

 

[StraightShooter2]

why did he intensely stare at tammy for 10 seconds while she was trying the cake?

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his camera is more off-center than usual in this one. is he that stroked out that he doesn't realize it when editing these videos?

For Tammy, probably anything is better than raw-dogging with Jack, so "better than sex" isn't much of a standard to live up to.

 

[boxybum]

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=P7-RBGCdDq0Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Better Than ex Cake_480p.mp4

Just crack open a bag of sugar and spoon in into your mouth instead of trying to call this a cake.

 

[EnemyStand]

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=P7-RBGCdDq0Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Better Than ex Cake_480p.mp4

All right, hold on to your butts, this cake is BETTER THAN SEX!
-The off kilter camera has been mentioned, so I won't bring it up here.
-Jack starts out bitching about "World's Best" used as an advertisement when the product advertised is not the world's best. The irony is so rich I'm in a new tax bracket.
-Is the Watermelon his new favorite, or is he sick of us making fun of the Grimmace?
-Okay, apparently the recipe comes from...somewhere. He takes the title of the cake as a challenge. Challenge failed, Jack. Better luck next time.
-"In no way is this healthy, and in no way am I eating this other than trying it." That's another tax bracket. Thanks for nothing, fatty.
-Taking better than sex cake to a Bible study? I know megachurches tend to be decadent but damn!
-Jack REALLY emphasizes he's not going to be eating this cake beyond one bite. We go in close after the title screen.
-Actually, I'm going to rant a bit. I REALLY hate it when non-interactive media tries to act interactive. In most cooking shows, saying "come in closer" is the chef generally talking to the camera man. Since there IS no camera man, this whole thing Jack does is piss me off. At least he didn't do the idiotic "DUUR HURR, WHERE YOU BEEN, I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY" bit. It's as stupid as during kids plays when an actor tells the kids to shout for another actor to come out, and the summoned actor acts like they're just wandering by and acts surprised there's an audience. Jack is on THAT level.
-Main ingredient is cake mix. Wow, whoever made the recipe Jack'd it up before Jack got his hands on it! Jackception!
-Bottled caramel topping, Cool Whip, Heath bars...THEN FUCKIN' BACON OUTTA NOWHERE! Seriously, this cake uses BACON? No wonder why Jack went with it. The odds of him pigging down the whole cake went from 99.9% to 147%.
-Yes Jack, I DID fucking think there was going to be bacon in the fucking cake. In fact, me honestly believing you would put bacon in this cake says more about you than it does me. Odds back to 99.9%
-Jack made a mistake. I'm shocked. He forgot to show the oil. What's the cook time, Jack? That's a little more important.
-Jack's really emphasizing that he doesn't know if the cake will be better than sex. I'd wonder how he'd know the difference, but there's evidence he had sex at least twice. Hell, he got two women to fight over him, thus giving hope to incels everywhere.
-Jump cut to the Kandy Klaw already on the handle of the bowl. I wanted to watch him force it on.
-Holy crap! Jack gave us a cook temp and cook time?! Of course, he read it off the box, but still...
-Jack takes the cake out when it starts to pull away from the pan and use a wine stopper to poke holes in it. He then pours condensed milk over the top. Is this a thing people do? I'm genuinely asking.
-Jack puts extra care into spreading the condensed milk. Must be how he spre4ads Jim Traynor's cum on Tammy's thigh. (Fuck you, overactive imagination...)
-Caramel sauce added.
-Cake looks like it's covered in piss and cum. Then it goes in the fridge.
-"This is gonna be so amazing and moist and...awesome." -Jack Scalfani, king of adjectives
-Mommy wife adds the Cool Whip while Jack makes sex noises. Oh god, he DOES like to watch Jim Traynor cuck him!
-Tammy adds the chopped Heath bar while Jack babbles incoherently about the sizes of the pieces. Tammmy probably wonders why Jack's even there.
-Jack explains toffee is in Heath bars. Rob, I hope you have a good burn for that because I REALLY need some of your low-key but savage sarcasm right now.
-Why does Jack constantly throw out ideas for alternative ingredients? Half the time the other ingredients don't fit the same flavor profiles. Like he suggests using M&M in place of Heath bars for the topping. Why? Those two things taste nothing alike and besides, he hasn't even TASTED the cake to know what kinds of subs you can make. Not that he knows how flavors work anyway, but still.
-Jack feels naughty. I need an image of that sad octopus brisket from last video to describe my reaction.
-Jack takes a massive cut of the cake then blows on it. Even he knows this is stupid.
-He attempts to look like he's thinking about the flavors. He say the flavors kick in after a couple chews and it's creamy. Well gee, I hope so, there's a whole tub of Cool Whip on it. He also really likes it, but that's not a surprise since it's all dairy and sugar.
-Jack doesn't think the cake is better than sex. If Tammy let him do it to her he'd probably think different because it would be routine.
-Tammy says no way is the cake better than sex. Good thing Jim Traynor's in the picture, it saved Jack's ego.
-She takes a big bit and promptly starts chewing in her sleep while Jack goes "Jiiiiiii!"
-Not enough caramel for Tammy. Just like Jack isn't enough man for her.
- Jack attempting to get a lot of mileage out of saying "sex" a lot, but he's been out of gas for a while.
-It ends on an obviously rehearsed wave from both jack and Tammy. Ah, with the camera off Jack can devour that pile of cake mix and jarred toppings with the true Better Than Sex gusto he hid on camera.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Are we all not going to talk about the 3lb tub of Cool Whip in the video? You think he’s going to slather up TamHam’s gamgams with it? Two for the kitchen, one for the bedroom, etc. #BetterThan$ex

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Even in some weird world where Tammy is very good at her job and in high demand; she can't be making more than like $100k a year. Is that really enough to support their eating habits and all of fatty's failed ventures?

Their cost of living is likely pretty low. They bought their house for $284k, their property taxes are around $2000/year, so their monthly mortgage + tax escrow payment is at most $2000/month unless they got really bad mortgage terms. And it might be significantly lower if they've refinanced. If they had enough realized equity in their CA home when they sold it, they might have even had enough to pay the whole mortgage off. However, Jack has probably been a net drain on their finances since he and Tammy got married and I wouldn't be surprised if they were barely keeping themselves above water in CA, which may have been a motivating factor to move to TN with its much lower taxes and cost of living.

 

[EnemyStand]

Are we all not going to talk about the 3lb tub of Cool Whip in the video? You think he’s going to slather up TamHam’s gamgams with it? Two for the kitchen, one for the bedroom, etc. #BetterThan$ex

No way. You saw the cake at the end, he must have put the entire tub on it. It was more Cool Whip than anything else.

 

[Fatty2988]

Their cost of living is likely pretty low. They bought their house for $284k, their property taxes are around $2000/year, so their monthly mortgage + tax escrow payment is at most $2000/month unless they got really bad mortgage terms. And it might be significantly lower if they've refinanced. If they had enough realized equity in their CA home when they sold it, they might have even had enough to pay the whole mortgage off. However, Jack has probably been a net drain on their finances since he and Tammy got married and I wouldn't be surprised if they were barely keeping themselves above water in CA, which may have been a motivating factor to move to TN with its much lower taxes and cost of living.

I'd imagine their eating out bill is around the same cost as their mortgage. I also have to wonder how much Jack has sunk in to his terrible sauce business. He has to be losing money that, I'd imagine most of the products are expired and unsellable.

I guess living in bumfuck nowhere they can afford to do some of these things, but I get the feeling they're knee deep in debt. A lot of people exist this way and just pretend they're making money. It's hard to tell.

 

[feral cat #6385]

jack is so fucked. i cannot imagine being someone who is physically able to walk and just... choosing not to walk a mile in -3 years.-

a little MATA, but i really would feel bad for him if he wasn't such a weird narcissistic asshole and if he didn't do all this to himself. there are a lot of people out there with similarly trashed bodies who didn't get the thousands of warning signs and chances to turn back that jack has gotten. there are people who didn't get a period where they could have worked hard to undo some damage, and jack just kind of threw that chance out, too. it's incredible how he takes everything for granted

The prick deserves to be dead on a ventilator.

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=P7-RBGCdDq0Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Better Than ex Cake_480p.mp4

Better than sex with jack cake.

 

[Aaway]

Their cost of living is likely pretty low. They bought their house for $284k, their property taxes are around $2000/year, so their monthly mortgage + tax escrow payment is at most $2000/month unless they got really bad mortgage terms. And it might be significantly lower if they've refinanced. If they had enough realized equity in their CA home when they sold it, they might have even had enough to pay the whole mortgage off. However, Jack has probably been a net drain on their finances since he and Tammy got married and I wouldn't be surprised if they were barely keeping themselves above water in CA, which may have been a motivating factor to move to TN with its much lower taxes and cost of living.

they didn't own the CA house. jack's stepdad did and just recently sold it a year ago for $675k

and i agree that the lower cost of living in TN was likely a big factor in the scalfani move, of course along with them not wanting jr to be around gay people. that probably played a role in jack sinking further and further down the spiral of laziness. in CA he was still getting a good # of views on his videos and making $$$ from the sauce

 

[StraightShooter2]

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=P7-RBGCdDq0Archive (480p):
y2mate.com - Better Than ex Cake_480p.mp4

From the start of the video:

Jack: "So It's kind of like when I was driving by this pizza place and it said "The World's Best Pizza" - and it wasn't..."

Me: Or it's kind of like when I went to Wal-Mart and saw this BBQ sauce that said "The Best BBQ Sauce You'll Ever Taste"... and it definitely wasn't.

---

Also:

Jack: "C'mon! You really thought I was going to put bacon in the cake?"

Me: Well, you're the guy who mixed jello and Cool Whip with pimentos and American cheese and called it a "salad", and the guy who mixed beer with leftover salsa, hot dogs, and Cajun seasoning in your "Garbage Stew", so yes, I really did think you were going to add bacon.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Are we all not going to talk about the 3lb tub of Cool Whip in the video? You think he’s going to slather up TamHam’s gamgams with it? Two for the kitchen, one for the bedroom, etc. #BetterThan$ex

I believe it was one for the kitchen two for the bedroom in this case. Picture Tam Tam belly down in bed her... crevices full of cool whip and jack going to town with his face burred in her crack, using his prehensile tongue to lick all the cool whip from inside her lady bits and asshole. The real reason he was called jakatak69. The man is a pussy licking, ass eating machine. Also explains his taste in food. The man loves the taste of ass.

Hopefully The Lazy Man is lurking. I imagine his reaction would be pic related.

 

[Rathalos]

hearing jack say the word sex brings out every negative human emotion possible within me

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

The cake is for his bible study. Sure thing, fatty.

What kind of asshole cuts a piece of cake for themself before bringing it to wherever?

Mushbrain obviously but am I the only person that's kinda bothered by that? I mean if I was there and he brings this cake out with a piece missing I'd wonder why did he do that?

 

[Rabid Weasels]

What kind of asshole cuts a piece of cake for themself before bringing it to wherever?

Mushbrain obviously but am I the only person that's kinda bothered by that? I mean if I was there and he brings this cake out with a piece missing I'd wonder why did he do that?

This cake is not making it out the front door. Its probably not even making it back into the fridge.

 

[p1138]

What kind of asshole cuts a piece of cake for themself before bringing it to wherever?

Mushbrain obviously but am I the only person that's kinda bothered by that? I mean if I was there and he brings this cake out with a piece missing I'd wonder why did he do that?

Nobody does that. It'd be like taking a lasagna to a potluck with a serving missing. Roasting a turkey for thanksgiving dinner with a leg missing. Showing up to a party to watch a sports game with a bag of chips and a half empty jar of salsa. That sort of shit is just stuff no normal person does and would likely earn you looks like you're some sort of fucking alien for doing so.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I believe it was one for the kitchen two for the bedroom in this case. Picture Tam Tam belly down in bed her... crevices full of cool whip and jack going to town with his face burred in her crack, using his prehensile tongue to lick all the cool whip from inside her lady bits and asshole. The real reason he was called jakatak69. The man is a pussy licking, ass eating machine. Also explains his taste in food. The man loves the taste of ass.

Hopefully The Lazy Man is lurking. I imagine his reaction would be pic related.
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Lazy Man is having trouble getting the farms initial confirmation email to send, I’m assuming due to the DOS attack, but he wanted me to post this.

 

[Adamska]

A better lie would be to make a small two person cake, as in a cake the size of two decent slices. But this is Jack; he can't stand the concept of not making a double batch of whatever he feels like eating.

As for the video, it's very clear that he's still fuming over this thread and the videos. He's very angy over the fact that we are mocking his bacon obsession. By the way, yes Jack, we did expect you to put bacon into that cake, since you did a good while ago put sauerkraut in chocolate cake. There are also cake recipes that use bacon to add salt to the flavor profile, usually with chocolate.

Also it's not our fault he still keeps his wanking grease visible in every video for no fucking reason.

 

[salmonellajack]

We know how this ended.