09/23/2015 - CRUCIAL DANGER! Phil Threatens Suicide

[He Sets Me On Fire]

And that's how he earned the name "Cockteasin' Phil."

 

[Linako 2.0]

Otra vez?

 

[Taily Puff]

nigga how new is you to this whole internet thing

Oh I've seen plenty of people clamoring for someone's suicide, whether it was agreed with by the masses or not. I've just never seen it so universally agreed on.

 

[Totenkopf]

What Kim Jong-Un is doing to North Korea is potatoes to Phil's contributions to the West Coast

 

[Jaimas]

What Kim Jong-Un is doing to North Korea is potatoes to Phil's contributions to the West Coast

Specifically the smell.

Truly repulsive. Like rotting potatoes and feces.

 

[FatNero]

Kiwis are Phil's only friends these days.


Sad enough to make you want to kill yourself right Phil?


Is anyone keeping a running tab of the things that make him want to kill himself?

 

[The Dude]

Phil needs a hobby (besides obsessively cruising the Kiwi Farms to go into an hourly frothing rage), something to occupy his time and energy. Something constructive like mainlining heroic doses of heroin with dirty needles. No, wait, not heroin. He should take up Krokodil. Yes, Philthy Phil should take up mainlining Krokodil with used needles. Its the perfect hobby for the homely hobo on the go-go!

 

[broilerrx]

I got two songs for him.

EDIT: Fuck copy/paste for failing me.

 

[The Dude]

Kiwis are Phil's only friends these days.


Sad enough to make you want to kill yourself right Phil?


Is anyone keeping a running tab of the things that make him want to kill himself?

Short answer: everything.

 

[Tookie]

If one of us actually goads Phil into doing it will they get trophy points? Maybe a banner?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

 

[FatNero]

If one of us actually goads Phil into doing it will they get trophy points? Maybe a banner?

I think if you get quoted in the final facebook note by name, you should get a title.

Seems fair.



Course Phil will never die, im starting to suspect he's actually going through with it every time and his diseased body turns out to mostly be a collection of sentient viruses and bacteria that stitches him back together.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Has Jordan commented yet? Anymore comments on Phil's post?

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Phil needs a hobby

Suicide baiting doesn't count?

 

[The Dude]

Suicide baiting doesn't count?

Not really, because all he's doing it tapping on his phone. Its not proactive enough. Its more like a casual past-time.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Has Jordan commented yet? Anymore comments on Phil's post?

A few asspats but no jordman. They had a falling out not too long ago and got unfriended.

 

[Lemon Vagina]

Well, that lasted. Same time tomorrow then?

 

[The Dude]

Well, that lasted. Same time tomorrow then?

Eh, give him a couple days. Typing fake suicide threats for attention really wears a body out, especially a mobidly obese, diabetes riddled body.

 

[CWCissey]

He's probably in a psychiatric ward on a 72 hour hold after running crying to the hospital about evil Kiwis laughing at him.

 

[The Dude]

He's probably in a psychiatric on a 72 hour hold after running crying to the hospital about evil Kiwis laughing at him.

It's California...they're used to seeing mentally unbalanced homeless people.