August 29, 2015: Ahuviya tried to force Jordan to fuck their ass with ginger root.

[bearycool]

Would you fig me? I'd fig me. I'm fig me so hard.

Go fig yourself.

 

[chimpburgers]

Good fucking God. This is insane even by Manboobiya's standards.

 

[Totenkopf]

The fact she had to buy him Jack in the Box to get him to shut up is so great.

 

[Thetan]

I couldn't imagine even one of Phil's more intimate friends wanting to get anywhere near his shit-encrusted ass without a hazmat suit.

Yeah, I feel sorry for Jordan too.

 

[bearycool]

The fact she had to buy him Jack in the Box to get him to shut up is so great.

If only it caused a heartattack so this shit would have stopped a long time ago

 

[cumrobbery]

Phil is fat and I would not fig him.

 

[Functional Animal]

Did Jordan almost call the "Aboobiya?" I find it hilarious how not only are Phil's friends abandoning him, but it seems some are coming to agree with us Kiwis.

I love how Phil is in a seemingly ever accelerating nose dive toward bottom. But whatever "bottom" for Phil is is a mystery. He already passed what most people consider rock bottom by far. Is there a bottom for him?

 

[Thetan]

Thank you for ruining ginger ale forever, you fuck.

And ginger beer....

 

[Totenkopf]

Is there a bottom for him?

Is there a bottom for him without ginger root shoved tight inside it, that's the real question

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

Why can't people stick to shoving normal things up their ass, like dragon dildos?

 

[HypeBeast]

If ADF has super thick back hair then he totally also has hair all over his butt.

 

[4Macie]

@tweaker the cat
You asked us to ignore the part about horses.... But I can't. I'm not judging anyone who likes "horse" shows.... But I have to ask. Has ADF been a part of one?

 

[Pikonic]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figging

"The used ginger can be skinned further or a new one can be used for continuation with an undiminished effect on the subject."
Well, that's convenient.

@tweaker the cat
You asked us to ignore the part about horses.... But I can't. I'm not judging anyone who likes "horse" shows.... But I have to ask. Has ADF been a part of one?

I think he's talking about this. No horse show discussion needed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gingering

 

[Judge Holden]

alrighty, heres a transcript

Hey, Michael, sorry for all that. I cut ties with Ahoobiya a couple of months ago after realizing what a drag they are on my life. I especially regret being her friend after she ramped up the anti-semitism and just plain gaslighting. She has already been banned from the trans ladies picnics. Furthermore there was an incident back in May that you need to know. We were at the Motel 6 in Walnut Creek staying the night, and they put on their bondage gear. They also brought ginger root and asked me to fig them. I refused and they started squealing and the front desk called and asked if everything was OK, and said that they almost called the police. I then had to get Jack in the Box to placate them. I didnt want to get kicked out.

1. Wtf is fig?
2. Do I have your permission to post this to kf?

Its when you take a ginger root, carve it into a buttplug, and shove it up someone's anus, really painful sensations. And yes. you can post to Kiwifarms.

Holy Christ
Dogs they end up doing it to themselves?
*Did they*

I dunno, but if they did, it was away from me, those things cause pain

Where the hell did they even get the idea?

From wicked grounds

...
I dont even want to know

And theres a wikipedia article about it if you want to verify its real

Ooh no I believe you. Just....Fucking christ.
Jesus they do it to horses?! Thats just sick.

Yes it is.

Looks like its banned in most horse shows tho

It is also an antifeminist act as it was used to punish women

Hm Wonder if thats why ahuviya was attracted to it. Like subconciously.

 

[sugoi-chan]

I swear I've learned more uncomfortable information about BDSM since I started following Hooves than I ever did before.

 

[Weeping With Pity]

Just going to point out that ginger root is around $7 per pound according to a brief internet shopping search. I refuse to search for how large a root would be required for this, but however much it was, great fiscal responsibility, Phil!

 

[bearycool]

Did Jordan almost call the "Aboobiya?" I find it hilarious how not only are Phil's friends abandoning him, but it seems some are coming to agree with us Kiwis.

I love how Phil is in a seemingly ever accelerating nose dive toward bottom. But whatever "bottom" for Phil is is a mystery. He already passed what most people consider rock bottom by far. Is there a bottom for him?

Bottom for Phil?

Well, he's certainly bottoming for that ginger root. Or as someone above me just said:

1. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/217.jpg?1440614610 A moment agoJudge Holden:
   GINGERS ASSHOLES
   

*runs away from the blast radius of horrifying and deviant ratings*

 

[Radgy Chadobah]

If ADF has super thick back hair then he totally also has hair all over his butt.

Probably true. Also probably true: dense ass hair caked with layers of stale shit might be enough to prevent the ginger root from causing pain.

ISAPHIL used GNGRT on ISAPHIL...it wasn't very effective.

 

[Brooke]

That's just sick. Where the hell is he getting these ideas, and why the fuck would he ask someone to do that for him.

#backshavingincidentalloveragain

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Erm.... Ginger ale anyone?

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

BITE THE PILLOW, IT'S GOING IN CANADA DRY

also just

why