DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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You really must have crippling autism on a nuclear level if you unironically enjoy this man "singing" and cackling like a child that suffered from a lack of oxygen at birth. He's absolutely insufferable today.
 
"So now, we got a bunch of shitheads in the chat and on that place called kiwifarms? Talking about me having a kid?"

Changes the scene to zoom in on him.

"NO! I'm not having a kid and whoever thinks that is a FUCKIN' IDIOT! Kat said she doesn't want a kid with me, okay? I've only said this a thousand times! Idiots, what can I say?"
"If I was going to have a kid, Ka- My Wife™ would be pregnant already! This is one of those groupthink things where a bunch of peepul say an idea over and over and think it's true. I'd know a lot about that, ever since I played that MGS collection and didn't take it seriously- and I didn't know what a cult following Kojima has- and these peepul have made it their life's goal to follow me across the internet and stalk everything I do and say. But she's not pregnant okay? Morahns."
 
This thread has been moving at record speed even though Phil-related habbenings have been moving slower than the velocity accrued by Phil’s weekly waddling when he’s out and about with his prized farming horse.

There’s a few things that have happened that I believe are worth mentioning:

1. The state of the streams is the worst they’ve ever been. Phil’s inability to empathize with his “dedicated” audience in regards to how miserable the overall YT chat experience has become is mind-boggling. He’s so oblivious to everyone’s feelings, he simply cannot comprehend why his chat is dead and his community has gone into extinction. In this manchild’s mind, simply copying and pasting what he did from Twitch to YT should have recreated the exact same conditions for “success” that he was experiencing in his previous streaming environment.

2. His underestimation of the impact generated by Twitch’s ecosystem and overall culture is going to be his death knell on YT. The lack of free emotes, chat interactivity tools, free Amazon Prime subscriptions, and a dedicated audience of retards that he built over half a decade is slowly bleeding him. His tiny ape brain cannot compute as to why doing the exact same thing on YT is not producing the same results he was experiencing on Twitch.

3. Anybody who’s been following Phil for a while is witnessing the same scenario replaying over and over again: his safe space Teflon bubble pops; he becomes stressed and agitated; he makes an idiotic, unproductive move motivated out of sheer ego; he refuses to listen to any portent feedback; his situation worsens rather than improves. Be it switching from camcorder to capture card to save his failing Let’s Play career or be it from finally going independent from a MCN partnership, it’s always unnecessary, badly executed, and too little, too late. There was absolutely no reason for him to move to YT. This move was unilaterally decided based upon one factor: greed. The possibility of missing out on SuperChats and Memberships was too great for the pig and he imploded the only environment of relative (but declining) stability he built for himself over at Twitch.

4. This has been discussed but his current choice of games couldn’t be worse for someone committing to such a destabilizing business choice of platform migration. If I were to force my dwindling community to move onto another platform, you’d bet your ass I would plan weekly events and do things that the community wanted to garner any type of attention or to simply attempt at repairing a permanently sinking ship. But nope, for Phil, this rather earth-shattering move is business as usual when nothing about Dark’s situation can be defined as usual. His laziness in his current situation cannot be understated. It literally defines the man.

5. We knew it was coming but we’ve reached absolutely insane levels of begging. Albeit from the most ardently generous cucks, the more tame and milquetoast paypigs have been bled dry. With COVID-19 somewhat under control in the US, most are back to their minimum wage jobs and cannot attend the streams as regularly. We knew most of these complete losers blew part of their stimmy checks on the pig and are now back to budgeting their bi-monthly paychecks to be paid out to their Lord and Master. Nigel’s doxing proved that these people are not rich or well-off; they’re almost all blue collar workers with mental disabilities. Their spending is limited to what they can afford and it isn’t much.

6. Guys, any post in regards to some faggot with a three letter acronym is an auto-skip for me. Fuck that little attention-seeking cunt. I really don’t give a fuck if he’s bankrupting himself to fund Phil’s secret gacha addiction but he’s not worth talking about. Just wanted to say something I believe many people feel similarly to.

7. Last but not least, I wanted to do a mini-deep dive into last night’s COD stream because I believe it’s become exemplary of what we can expect from Phil’s streams. Most of his Twitch userbase did not make the move to YT. The weirdly habitual degenerates (hermione6060, jimbob, even mods like timboslice) simply aren’t attending anymore. I don’t blame them, YT chat fucking sucks and using phone emojis to type messages is utter garbage. This lack of community interactivity is really getting to him. It’s completely exposing DSP for someone who absolutely cannot relate to his audience nor have any sort of meaningful discussion unless it’s a topic selected from a pre-approved list or there’s money attached to the message. That’s why he’s losing his fucking mind: the 50-bit bitches are gone and have created a vacuum of dead air that he has no idea how to fill up. The YT migration made it clear for everyone to see how bad of a streamer Phil has always been and how autistically unable he is to have a normal conversation with chat users. It’s getting to him and he’s frightened, no matter how much he lies to himself. His belief that his community is going to get rebuilt and even grow larger on an inferior streaming website is unrealistic and completely out of touch with reality.

We’ve said it many times before but the DSP Reality TV show will go out with a whimper, not a bang. And I believe we’re witnessed the beginning of this whimper.
I believe in the end DSP will have a CWC-tier meltdown when he gets kicked out of the condo, or even physically assaulting someone.
 
DSP will never go anywhere as long as people hate him and that hate is monetized.
I don't want him to disappear but eventually with no one funding him we will see him streaming from his parents house after he got a greyhound back home due to him losing his car because he didn't make payments for 8 months.
 
After boring trash streams like COD, I forget just how fucking bad these clown mode Nintendo streams can get...jfc
The only time DSP playing Nintendo games becomes entertaining is when his own viewers lose interest and either start missing the Goal or tell him to play something different. That way he starts berating them and refusing to drop it because it's incredibly easy to play.
And watching him fail at 3D platforming can be good sometimes, too
 
Plot twist: Dave's infertile and shooting blanks and he's actually super fucking insecure about it which is why he's sperging out so hard at people suggesting he might have a kid/might want a kid with Khet.
 
We’ve said it many times before but the DSP Reality TV show will go out with a whimper, not a bang. And I believe we’re witnessed the beginning of this whimper.

As much as I'd like to think you're right, I'm convinced he'll find some pretext to go back to Twitch before he'd ever seriously contemplate throwing in the towel and getting a real job.
 
Imagine watching a man die from a self inflicted gutshot and as he is bleeding out he's screaming "No I'm not dying, what the fuck your talking about. You're an idiot if you believe that" and just as he finished his sentence his guts pop out.
 
Imagine watching a man die from a gutshot and as he is bleeding out he's screaming "No I'm not dying, what the fuck your talking about. You're an idiot if you believe that" and just as he finished his sentence his guts pop out.
As PPB's soul leaves his body, a phantasmal yell can be heard "WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO, YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME YET"
 
He's down to his final two whales, OIC and GaryBBK.

Give it a month and they will be gone, then the real meltdown begins.
I'm wondering if OIC desires to be the last man standing so that he can be the one to deliver the coup de grace. I can see that being his "master plan", along with a long-winded monologue before his departure, so he can be the final mark in phil's career. It would fit with his smoothbrain modus operandi.

Kat said she doesn't want a kid with me, okay?
Any other man would see this as a red flag.
 
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