Amberlynn Engagagement and Wedding Planning Megathread 1/14/2021 - For all pre-wedding wedding talk

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No tacky tux for Becksters. Only a tacky dress.
 
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bitter heaux powiedział(a):
Too lazy to get my tablet because let's face it, she's getting wrapped in a wommart tent.

Another question, how are they gonna do a walk down the Isle? She can't waddle that far. On a bridal scootypuff?
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They're gonna do the druggie thing and have a courthouse wedding
 
Necky and Hamber are perfect for each other despite not having any chemistry on camera. They are pieces of shit, and their only goals in life are to consume as much as possible and be as lazy as possible.

Getting married for the most part comes down to life goals, not so much chemistry and these two morbidly obese stooges have found common ground with their goals. Hamber wants a butler that doesn't ask questions and does as told. Necky doesn't want to work a "real" job. She rather wipe ass and clean, which probably doesn't take up that much of her day. Sure she's on call 24/7 but for the most part she spends most her day doing what she wants.

There only thing in common is food. Hamber will continue to eat and most likely die first. Necks will take what she can if anything is left and move on.
 
Becky is going to wear one of those tuxedo printed tshirts and a fancy snap back, obviously.
 
Honestly, it was just a question of when. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. My guess is that ALR needed some new content for more views. I guess it is a match made in...well, hell.
 
Does this mean her cheesecake factory taste test was just a tasting of the potential wedding menu?
 
That's not a ring on her sausage finger, that's a bracelet! 😆
 
gampboonerisms powiedział(a):
There's a ton of content that can and does come from wedding planning, but she won't know how to do any of it and won't think to vlog it.
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Y'all are haydurs, that sparkly ring perfectly complements the jaundice in Amber's Vienna sausages! I appreciate the nice juxtaposition of her pudgy, yellow fingers showcased next to Becky's bloated, blotchy red digits. Truly a match made in heaven Kentucky.

I think it's a forgone conclusion that Amber will 100% neglect to film anything we'd actually be interested in seeing, instead she'll treat us to "taste tests", hauls of shit for this white trash extravaganza and weeping about her mentuhlz.

Hope the Thumbservant is prepared: she's going to end up doing all the actual planning, organizing and work while her dainty betrothed perches atop Mount Pillowmanjaro and barks orders. Planning weddings is stressful and involves a lot of phone calls, and our poor Amber has crippling phone anxiety.

I have SO many questions. How many candles will the gorls register for at Bath & Body Works? Will Eric and Ricky sport matching man-buns during the ceremony? Which choker will Amber wear for the occasion? How many tantrums will Amber throw when Necky's sisters attempt to help with the wedding/showers. Come to think of it, who would actually come to Amber's bridal shower?

ETA: Hoooboy It just occurred to me that they might attempt to write their own vows. I pray to all that is holy that:
1. This happens
2. We get to hear them
 
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I love how easy it is to imagine how the actual engagement scene went down:
long sperging ahead, fuelled by too much coffee

It's just before 2am, ALR has just finished her third takeaway meal of the night, and Thumby has mysteriously left the room. ALR wipes her dirty hands on her black leggings, annoyed that her gf isn't immediately nearby to bring her the Ben & Jerry's calling her name from the freezer. She let's out a shrieking "Babeeeeeeee" and hears a reassuring grunt from Becky's--their--bedroom. Good, she thinks as familiar dragging footsteps approach, picking up her phone and returning to watching teenagers on TikTok.

"Amburr," Becky says, a nervous hitch in her usually monotone drawl.
"Yah?" Amber asks, not looking up from the screen.
A heavy thud comes from beside her; pet hair and dust mites rises from the carpet and swirl like a beautiful galaxy of stars in the stark lighting of the living room. Oh nooo, the Thumb has fallen over? ALR decides she better check, for the sake of the Ben & Jerry's.

A wonderful scene is before her: Becky, her beloved, her second true love--is on one knee, her basketball shorts riding up just so over her proud gunt. A Walmart plastic bag is beside her, the mile-long receipt trailing from the bedroom. And in her hands, inside a little box...

Amber lets out the loudest shriek she's ever made. She blinks rapidly, breathing harder than she was before. She's already crying--she's making the appropriate wheezing sounds and wiping at her dry eye--because she's such an emotional person, and always cries at the drop of a pen. Becky's flushed face flushes, and she fidgets a little from the immense pressure on her knee (her body isn't used to such exercise!). Then she asks the question.

"Will yuuu marry meh, Amburr?"
Amber can't believe it. Becky has finally asked her, and in such a romantic and beautiful setting. Amber, full of Cheesecake Factory, in her favourite place (on the stained couch), and without needing to even get up and stand!

"Yes, babe!" She throws her out pudgy hand delicately for the cuyute ring--it's so understated, so elegant, so timeless. She already knows what earrings she's going to wear with it.

With some wriggling and some leftover orange chicken sauce, the ring glides perfectly onto her lightly-Portuguese finger. Becky lumbers up gracefully and plants a closed-mouth kiss on Amber's lips. Amber immediately returns to her phone to message Destiny the wonderful news.
 
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That beautifully detailed engagement scene brought a tear to my aging eye. Never in all my years of fast & loose living has anything moved me so much - unless you count the biker who shoved me away from the pool table because my inane chatter was throwing him off his game but I digress.

After that scintillating description of the sparkly situation now gracing her delicate little fingie, I'm bursting with curiosity about the actual wedding band or bands - surely after making such a gracious proposal, Becky deserves her own ring?

I know Amber is going to be so very busy planning the minutia of this Great New Adventure & I'm sure it will need at least 17 journals. I may take it upon myself to write vows for Amber. No doubt such a talented writer as Amber can do much better but with some heavy editing from her, I hope my humble efforts might serve as a template. I'll think about it; after all in cultured circles such as those Amber frequents might sneer at my inadequate, feeble efforts.
 
i know for certain that the wedding will be held in a YMCA ballroom. as far as catering, i won't go for such an obvious choice as cheesecake factory. our gorl is going to choose something shooooo hulthy for her wedding... but it'll end up being a binge, tragically.

the appetizer will be the skins of chicken nuggets, an entire tray of cocktail shrimp, and a few julienned slices of cucumber. the entree will be an entire rotisserie chicken, three slices of stuffed crust pepperoni pizza, cucumber boats, fried rice since that's how she lost 89 ellbees (which is almost 100, by the way), a family size bag of hot cheetos, and a small order of orange chicken with double mac and cheese on the side. dessert is one of the leftover jenny craig cupcakes that started gathering dust in her pantry and a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream.

but the VERY first day of the honeymoon she'll really start her diet and be ready to make some changes!
 
ADHD powiedział(a):
Amber wouldn't be the first person to get engaged to for attention with no intention of actually going through with the wedding. I'll believe it when the actual wedding day arrives and she hasn't come up with an excuse to call it off.
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What is going on with her hand? Is it slathered in foundation to try (and fail) to cover up her beetus knuckles? Is her skin just that dry? Something about this looks more "off" than usual.

Also, gorls, please stop posting phone screenshots as full size images. Insert them as thumbnails instead. Other people in other threads are getting temp bans for this, and I'd hate to see anyone miss out on this trashfire.
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Is the floor in that pic the same floor at walmart in the pic with the cheap wedding rings? Did they just fake it at walmart? Is that the way the floor looks at the Henry? We need fucking orko over here to investigate our former baby girl.

krazy orange cat powiedział(a):
Maybe they can have another fake wedding at the same creek where Norma and Jerry had their fake wedding.

If Amber rolled into the creek it would just be one less bath Becky would have to give her.
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Ok this is kentucky it's a crick. U get one chance to get it right otherwise we are gonna take you out to the hanging tree in town square.

I never almost drownded powiedział(a):
I love how easy it is to imagine how the actual engagement scene went down:
long sperging ahead, fuelled by too much coffee

It's just before 2am, ALR has just finished her third takeaway meal of the night, and Thumby has mysteriously left the room. ALR wipes her dirty hands on her black leggings, annoyed that her gf isn't immediately nearby to bring her the Ben & Jerry's calling her name from the freezer. She let's out a shrieking "Babeeeeeeee" and hears a reassuring grunt from Becky's--their--bedroom. Good, she thinks as familiar dragging footsteps approach, picking up her phone and returning to watching teenagers on TikTok.

"Amburr," Becky says, a nervous hitch in her usually monotone drawl.
"Yah?" Amber asks, not looking up from the screen.
A heavy thud comes from beside her; pet hair and dust mites rises from the carpet and swirl like a beautiful galaxy of stars in the stark lighting of the living room. Oh nooo, the Thumb has fallen over? ALR decides she better check, for the sake of the Ben & Jerry's.

A wonderful scene is before her: Becky, her beloved, her second true love--is on one knee, her basketball shorts riding up just so over her proud gunt. A Walmart plastic bag is beside her, the mile-long receipt trailing from the bedroom. And in her hands, inside a little box...

Amber lets out the loudest shriek she's ever made. She blinks rapidly, breathing harder than she was before. She's already crying--she's making the appropriate wheezing sounds and wiping at her dry eye--because she's such an emotional person, and always cries at the drop of a pen. Becky's flushed face flushes, and she fidgets a little from the immense pressure on her knee (her body isn't used to such exercise!). Then she asks the question.

"Will yuuu marry meh, Amburr?"
Amber can't believe it. Becky has finally asked her, and in such a romantic and beautiful setting. Amber, full of Cheesecake Factory, in her favourite place (on the stained couch), and without needing to even get up and stand!

"Yes, babe!" She throws her out pudgy hand delicately for the cuyute ring--it's so understated, so elegant, so timeless. She already knows what earrings she's going to wear with it.

With some wriggling and some leftover orange chicken sauce, the ring glides perfectly onto her lightly-Portuguese finger. Becky lumbers up gracefully and plants a closed-mouth kiss on Amber's lips. Amber immediately returns to her phone to message Destiny the wonderful news.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...
OMG your fucking cia!
 
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