Orbiter Alexander Matthew Bruce Vickers / Xander / The Demon Baby / "Ralphababy" - Genetical Spawn of the Gunt. Ralph's paper abortion.

[buttsniffer]

Can we also take a moment to appreciate that she's not using Ralph's last name? Xander, you may have a chance yet.

 

[RichardRApe]

Can we also take a moment to appreciate that she's not using Ralph's last name? Xander, you may have a chance yet.

I expect a lot of hollering over each other in their futures.

 

[Windex]

As noted in Mommy’s thread, SneakPeek is a notoriously incorrect gender test done via blood pinprick/droplet on paper/covered/mailed for like $80 bucks.

If she does have, as @MirnaMinkoff noted, an NIPT (noninvasive prenatal screening test) performed, theyll offer gender testing to go along with the tests for Down’s syndrome and other genetic disorders. That test is very accurate and can be performed as early as 10 weeks - I don’t know when they stop doing them, but I have seen them as late as 25 weeks - and it’s a simple blood test with quick turnaround. Hopefully genetic abnormalities don’t run in their families.

Also, young parents are notorious for selecting - then discarding - baby names throughout the 40’weeks of pregnancy. If the baby does end up Xander, I’ll be shocked.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The child was a lolcow before the sperm and egg met.

 

[Mage]

i thought dear leader was the godfather?

PPP would be better because he's in Canada, not Serbia.

 

[Sasquatch82]

Fai starts as she means to go on - the introduction of her baby into the world begins with his full fucking name dox.
Nice.

 

[naught sock account 1]

PPP would be better because he's in Canada, not Serbia.

regardless, ppp surfer and godwinson should raise the demon baby.

 

[High Tea]

Called it. Alexander after Xander on Buffy. This kid is going to be raised to be the ultimate emo - named after a Buffy character plus the family loves horror, the Skellington stuff. Throw in how he was conceived and who his parents are, probable mental and/or physical issues, and he's is going to be bullied like crazy.

 

[Ma_Hooty]

This poor kid was cursed the moment he was conceived. I can only hope his shitty predicament pushes him to prove everyone wrong by working hard and becoming a multimillionaire.

 

[FM Bradley]

I hope Planned Parenthood already vacuumed it up and it's all a big lead-on to make the piggu sweat for a few months.

If not then ditto all the genuinely thoughtful and touching well-wishes written prior, "Xander."

 

[MeltyTW]

A-logging a baby is both a new high and a new low. I don't know where this thread will be in 18 years but I'll be here every step of Xander's life to watch the catastrophe play out.

im really hoping this becomes an appreciation thread for a new american hero xander.the xander name prophecy was true so maybe the harvest moon will shine on our newly born alawg's fate.

i look forward to the inevitable father son cage match where xander will have to somehow lift and body slam the gunt:

 

[Jebu Nagazi]

Here is the Baby Picture of Xander "Gunter" Vickers....

 

[Mushroom Soup]

Say what you will about a baby having a thread here, but I think most of us care more about lil Xanny's well being than gunt does.

 

[Insane In The Membrane]

 

[naught sock account 1]

i wonder if she's aware of the connations in regards to naming the kid xander, the spedwave / julayworld guy.

 

[StraightShooter2]

I honestly don't want to blame the baby for having a gunt for a "dad".

If there was a way to retroactively abort Ralph, that would be ideal.

Also, did the Vickers family get legal custody over Alexander (which is why he's named "Vickers" instead of "Ralph")?

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I honestly don't want to blame the baby for having a gunt for a "dad".

If there was a way to retroactively abort Ralph, that would be ideal.

Also, did the Vickers family get legal custody over Alexander (which is why he's named "Vickers" instead of "Ralph")?

It's Faith's baby. She has full custody unless Ralph wants to take her to court.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I honestly don't want to blame the baby for having a gunt for a "dad".

If there was a way to retroactively abort Ralph, that would be ideal.

Also, did the Vickers family get legal custody over Alexander (which is why he's named "Vickers" instead of "Ralph")?

No Ralph doesn’t have custody of an unborn fetus.

You know a baby actually has to be born for custody to be determined. Ralph can’t go stick his snout up Faith’s vagina to assert his visitation rights for the next five months.

 

[Mage]

Say what you will about a baby having a thread here, but I think most of us care more about lil Xanny's well being than gunt does.

This child doesn't know it yet, but the Kiwi Farms is his family.
A family that actually cares for him unlike his own father.

 

[Null]

Dear Demon Baby,

You're probably a teenager now and you're reading this thread on some darknet archive. Things are really different now. The Internet is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Amazon-Google-Tencent Inc, headquartered in Beijing, People's Republic of Asia. The United States is going through its 10th year of Civil War and while the mortars are falling outside. Despite the background noise, you've set yourself on a quest of self-discovery - to find out what your heritage really is.

You might be horrified to learn that your father is Ethan Oliver Ralph. It may be hard to come to terms with. You may find it hard to put on your military outfit and go out there and fight for the Free State of New England. What's the point of fighting to survive when your father is a disgusting, gunted, meth smoking wigger? Why end up a nameless casualty in some battle relegated to the footnotes of history?

I can't give your life that meaning for you, Demon Baby, but I can give you a song. And while you're not born yet, a group of very autistic people know you exist. I hope it helps in these trying times.

(And yes this was just an excuse to post this song I like.)