Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Synthesizer Patel]

Also "goblincore" has a lot of meme potential in light of Goblin Slayer...

Nice try, Hitler.

Apparently "cottagecore" is now offensive too. And "gremlins are ableist"

Spoiler: Please forgive me for being a bad person

A goblincore blog callout post from last year. The blog runner is antisemitic because they called the (Jewish) accuser an "ugly bully", so they're calling Jews ugly, like goblins, therefore goblincore = antisemitic.

Nice to know that even the kitschy, pretend-magic parts of tumblr are problematic.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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Be prepared to be engulfed by grief as all the fat witches die from diabetes.

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Just go to therapy.

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Battle to the death!

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Lol no.

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Don't drag Marilyn Monroe into this.

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Don't you have better things to get angry over?

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Was heteronormative even a word back then?

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Go to the Middle East. The patriarchy is in fact very much alive.

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Good luck with that. Also, off topic but I like her hair.

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Just take your meds. I promise you it is infinitely more effective than this shit.

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Say what you want about Trump supporters, but at least they aren't hexing people who disagree with them.

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White sage can be found at five and below. People are using it because it's cheap.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

If you're a white witch and you're not sporting a Polish plait, are you even really a witch? I ask you.

This term can refer to either a hairstyle or a medical condition

That is how you know its a good hairstyle.

Go to the Middle East. The patriarchy is in fact very much alive.

And witches are punished there. Coincidence?

 

[EyelessMC]

Nice try, Hitler.
Apparently "cottagecore" is now offensive too. And "gremlins are ableist"
Nice to know that even the kitschy, pretend-magic parts of tumblr are problematic.

Alright someone itt is a time traveler and is trolling them from the past. This doesn't make sense otherwise. How does the idea "Jews = goblins" arise organically, and from a Jew? Also maybe I missed something but how is "cottagecore" offensive? Does cottage = Uncle Tom = Racism in their minds?

Actually the Jewish style censorship of g*blins like it's "G*D" and the singular noun "GOY" being used rather than the Hebrew pluralization of goyim (like cherub/cherubim, seraph/seraphim) makes me think it really was a joke people took seriously and then they had to run with it. That or it was an outsider who successfully ruined their little paradise, kind of like a certain old story I'm sure they love for the wrong reasons, only this time the snake had a keyboard.

Say what you want about Trump supporters, but at least they aren't hexing people who disagree with them.

I can't get over the mental image of these speds seeing Trump pop up on the news and hurriedly jumping up and screaming "magic missile" at their TV.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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Is it just me or is coven code for lesbian cult?

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If you want your girlfriend to give you more love, make her fried chicken.

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What is with these people and period blood?

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[Meth Until Death]

I've drenched heifers smaller than that wretched mass of flesh. Bloody hell that's cooked

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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Does magic really exist? Like, I know I sound crazy but why are all these people on Tumblr so adamant that this stuff is real? Can they sense something I can't?

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What is with these people and imaginary rape?

 

[NoReturn]

Call me fatphobic but if you're obese and don't have an actual, literal, medical excuse for being so, then your lack of self-control tells me you shouldn't be trusted with any sort of power magical or otherwise.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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I'm kind of jealous and fascinated of these people to be honest. Like, how would they know whether an ancient Greek goddess hates terfs or not? Do they really think an all powerful being would have the time to communicate with them, a single lowly human out of billions? They live in this perpetual fantasy world were magic is real and you can make someone fall in love with you by placing your period blood under their window. I don't know why this post is making me say all this, I mean there are plenty more in the witchblr community that are infinitely more shocking, but the sheer audacity to believe that Aphrodite, a literal goddess agrees with everything you say and share your hatred for people that don't like transgenders. These people don't even beat anyone up they just posted about their dislike for troons on Tumblr. Also, why were terfs the only thing she mentioned? You would think that there are more important things for Aphrodite to worry about right? Like people who mutilate the gentials of little girls so they never feel sexual pleasure? I feel like that is more in her domain. Sorry if I'm being spergy, this is just so weird to me.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

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I'm kind of jealous and fascinated of these people to be honest. Like, how would they know whether an ancient Greek goddess hates terfs or not? Do they really think an all powerful being would have the time to communicate with them, a single lowly human out of billions? They live in this perpetual fantasy world were magic is real and you can make someone fall in love with you by placing your period blood under their window. I don't know why this post is making me say all this, I mean there are plenty more in the witchblr community that are infinitely more shocking, but the sheer audacity to believe that Aphrodite, a literal goddess agrees with everything you say and share your hatred for people that don't like transgenders. These people don't even beat anyone up they just posted about their dislike for troons on Tumblr. Also, why were terfs the only thing she mentioned? You would think that there are more important things for Aphrodite to worry about right? Like people who mutilate the gentials of little girls so they never feel sexual pleasure? I feel like that is more in her domain. Sorry if I'm being spergy, this is just so weird to me.

Other people said it already, but I think it is a holdover from living in a Christian/Protestant culture. God loves you (yes you!) personally, you have your own personal savior, he's always there if you need someone to talk to and he'll help you win the football game and past the test if you just pray for it. That is some people's favorite part of religion, you're never alone and you have someone really big in your corner helping and protecting you body and soul. These people want all those fuzzy feelings but don't want Christianity for whatever reason. The Pagan types make their own personal Jesus cosplay as Aphrodite, and that post is one pretty clear example of that. A little editing and you could have a Boomer's Jesus facebook post. The spell-casty types are the same way, but they don't want anyone to be "above" them so their powers become their "god" stand in. All the comfort of having something (magic) protect and support you, but you don't even have to be friends with it let alone subordinate!

 

[Tay Tay]

Other people said it already, but I think it is a holdover from living in a Christian/Protestant culture. God loves you (yes you!) personally, you have your own personal savior, he's always there if you need someone to talk to and he'll help you win the football game and past the test if you just pray for it. That is some people's favorite part of religion, you're never alone and you have someone really big in your corner helping and protecting you body and soul. These people want all those fuzzy feelings but don't want Christianity for whatever reason. The Pagan types make their own personal Jesus cosplay as Aphrodite, and that post is one pretty clear example of that. A little editing and you could have a Boomer's Jesus facebook post. The spell-casty types are the same way, but they don't want anyone to be "above" them so their powers become their "god" stand in. All the comfort of having something (magic) protect and support you, but you don't even have to be friends with it let alone subordinate!

That, plus lot's of narcissism. Whole idea of being a witch is ground funded in the idea that you are the chosen one. Of course deep down they know that it's untrue and that's how you get a witch with anxiety. Like this one

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Just go to therapy.

Seriously witches with anxiety trigger me. Symptoms of anxiety can be quite easily managed, if you try CBT, or even by various types of meditation. If you learn how to control your mind you can control anxiety. It is not the easiest thing, but it's possible. How can you be a witch and cast spells and shit, if you can't control your own thoughts.

Most of the "baby witch advice" posts talk about how beginner witches should 1) practice meditation and 2) do some research. I'm 99% sure that the girls that give that advice have never done this things themselves (scrolling tumblr is not research). Because they're too hard. It's much easier to make a "magical bath" and reblog memes, or indulge shallow consumerist desires, by buing overpriced stones and tarot cards.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Just take some melatonin. Mixing some herbs and putting them in a jar does nothing

Yeah, stop being a lazy shit.

I feel like this is the real magic of witchraft: the placebo effect. If doing xyz helps you calm down WHILE also taking your meds and/or going to therapy and/or doing other good coping skills, then who am I to say no? It's an extra bit of reassurance that helps through the day. Mind you, the batshit ones don't get a pass.

I can't get over the mental image of these speds seeing Trump pop up on the news and hurriedly jumping up and screaming "magic missile" at their TV.

Thank you I needed this

What is with these people and period blood?

It's free, it's edgy, and you don't have to cut yourself for it.

Also, why were terfs the only thing she mentioned? You would think that there are more important things for Aphrodite to worry about right? Like people who mutilate the gentials of little girls so they never feel sexual pleasure? I feel like that is more in her domain.

>implying they even think about people outside first world countries
That and if the poster is trans then terfs are the truest sinners since they were born female unlike those born with the original sin of being male, and are unaccepting in spite of it. Choosing to be a traitor ans sin instead of being born sinful.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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I guess Disney's Princess and the Frog is racist, if I remember it correctly. You know, because the voodoo guy was like "I have friends on the other side" I thought these people love Disney?

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That's the only thing he cooks? And then these people complain about gender stereotypes but he can barely be bothered to bake anything, a useful feminine skill. Not saying people who can cook are girly, but it's been long associated with women.

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The economy IS really important?! Are they saying gay people wouldn't give a shit if there was another Great Depression as long as they have some dick to suck? Sounds kind of homophobic tbh.

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Just cast a money spell lol.

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Crystals don't do anything. They are just pretty rocks. Also, chances are at least one of your ancestors owned slaves.

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Now I wonder if any of these people think they had sex with fairies (hex me bitch) because when she said "#they will kill you #or worse" I thought of rape.

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I couldn't find anything about fairy human sex but in my quest I learned that elves are bisexual.

 

[NoReturn]

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I guess Disney's Princess and the Frog is racist, if I remember it correctly. You know, because the voodoo guy was like "I have friends on the other side" I thought these people love Disney?

These morons wouldn't recognize the Loa if Baron Samedi came right up to them and blew smoke right in their stupid faces.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

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I feel like saying that Apollo is "incredibly pissed off" that a bunch of dumb teenyboppers tried to hex the moon is kind of insulting to Greek people.

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Get one of those anti tick collars

 

[WinchesterPremium]

I couldn't find anything about fairy human sex but in my quest I learned that elves are bisexual.

Well obviously. Its the natural evolution when you can't tell the difference between the men and the woman. Dwarves have the same adaptation but with beards.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Crossover post from good ol' Sapphire the Womb Wizard's thread. If you don't follow it, you should.

Yes this is a 100% serious post and not ironic or anything.

 

[Pussyteeth]

Symptoms of anxiety can be quite easily managed, if you try CBT

Cock and Ball Torture?

 

[DatBepisTho]

Cock and Ball Torture?

Tfw when cognitive behavior therapy might feel like that to some of these people.

 

[Kinnie]

Also maybe I missed something but how is "cottagecore" offensive? Does cottage = Uncle Tom = Racism in their minds?

More or less. In order to build a cottage and live off the land all by yourself, you have to kick the Natives out. If you partake in cottagecore? You hate Natives. Forget the fact that a lot of Natives (and other ~pee oh see~) love cottagecore BECAUSE it's an "escape" from "industrialized Western society."