🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Pina Colada]

I cannot understand who these people cheering her on IG are. This bitch looks terrible. Who are you kidding?

Asspatters, orbiter cucks, and leeches. Easy enough to weed out even if you’ve never used Instagram before.

 

[IBrokeBob]

I cannot understand who these people cheering her on IG are. This bitch looks terrible. Who are you kidding?

Meh, its a bunch other morbidly obese women who are equally delusional who cant lose weight or those creepy dudes who have a serious fat fetish weight.

 

[multiverse]

Tess is boring and fat. Here was her relatable and #goals story for today:

1) she had some snarls in her hair

2) she is too fat to lift her arms and comb them out

3) she needed to call her hairdresser to brush her hair for her because she's a disgusting obeast.

~fin~


How much do you want to bet she expected this grooming for free?

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I wish people saw that as a wake-up call...

 

[Angry New Ager]

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Tess decided looking like a $5 hooker was a good look today. She would look better if she covered up more. This outfit would still look bad on someone skinny.

I find it interesting that none of the PLT clothes she's worn, either in this photo or the Christmas ham one, are actually available on the website. The rhinestone bralette is still available in human sizes, but not in Plus, and it's only $8 because most of the clothes are marked down 60-80%.

So did PLT just throw a few last-season leftovers at Tess that were headed for a discount anyway? It would seem so. I seem to recall Eloquii did the same thing with some of the last dresses of theirs we saw her in.

You'd think a clothing company would want such a big-name model to show off next season's line instead of last season's leftovers, but in Tess's case, you would be wrong.

That said, holy shit is PLT a hot mess of ghettotastic, wanna-be-a-Kardashian thotwear. I truly had no idea. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, if this is the best Tess can scrounge up.

 

[IBrokeBob]

Tess is boring and fat. Here was her relatable and #goals story for today:

1) she had some snarls in her hair

2) she is too fat to lift her arms and comb them out

3) she needed to call her hairdresser to brush her hair for her because she's a disgusting obeast.

~fin~
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How much do you want to bet she expected this grooming for free?

Of course she wanted it for free or in exchange for her posting her lame story on Instagram. She thinks she is so glam having people to fix her hair but we all know that the reason her hair is such a ratty mess is because she cannot lift her enormous arms enough to do even brush her own hair or wash it.

 

[Umaibae]

Yeah, I checked out Pretty Little Thing when it started appearing in the posts here, and it is absolutely some of the trashiest, most unwearable clothing I've ever seen. This shit is straight up lingerie to be worn in public, but only if you have the Instahoe ass and lips to go with it.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Is that 'her hairdresser' or just some poor young gay she knows who is starting out in hair (or just has an ambition to) and could be coerced into tending to her 'emergency' for 'exposure'? He looks barely out of the womb tbqh, and frightened by her small tangles, which are something anyone with long thick hair gets from time to time and knows how to deal with (cut them out or work them out carefully with conditioner).

No in-demand professional salon-based hairdresser does house calls for ... well, a hell lot more than Tess can afford right now. Or for something as dumb as a small knot. This is Tess trying to act like a real celebrity, who has an on-call glam squad and as usual, failing. Even real working models would normally just go to the salon.

Honestly, I think he's just one of her latest 'friends' that she's pressured to show up and comb her out. I can't imagine 'friends' last long with Tess once they find out the friendship is entirely a one-way street and about tending to Tess's phsyical needs and narc supply emergencies (telling her she's pwetty) with nothing in return. Can anyone even imagine Tess running (well, you know) to the rescue of a friend?

 

[mrspotatohead]

He has been doing her hair for a long time. I want to say since around 2012 or 2013. I believe she was the one that was giving him exposure at first (he's very popular now), and he feels a little indebted to her now (or she guilt trips him).

 

[LetThemEatCake]

He has been doing her hair for a long time. I want to say since around 2012 or 2013. I believe she was the one that was giving him exposure at first (he's very popular now), and he feels a little indebted to her now (or she guilt trips him).

Wow, then he's an idiot if he's doing that user's hair for free at this point. There's nothing to be gained professionally from associating with such a sub D-lister. He should be asking her to pay like a normal client at this point if he's doing OK in the profession. Maybe give her a friend discount, but still.

Also, he still looks like a fetus in a baseball cap.

 

[multiverse]

Is that 'her hairdresser' or just some poor young gay she knows who is starting out in hair (or just has an ambition to) and could be coerced into tending to her 'emergency' for 'exposure'?

He's Dita von Tease's personal hairdresser now, but he's known Tess since before she was famous and seems to feel some obligation to her for his current career. Though Tess dumped him for GayOfThrones, aka Jonathan Van Ness before he got on Queer Eye (probably because of the Dita thing, she isn't the type to enjoy anyone else's success). Once JVN got famous, Tess reverted to using HisVintageTouch for her gay hait hanger on. At this point he's probably doing her hair for free out of pity.

Anyway, here's Tess getting drunk for "self care" and spending the night trolling twitter for people making stories about her so she can repost them. This was but a fraction of the boring parade of narc supply she posted.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

He's Dita's personal hairdresser? Holy shit, he really is lowering himself. If she had any respect for his time and skills she would want to pay him. Anyway, imagine going from Dita's house and hair to Jolene's pad with fat Tess parked on the sofa, sweating and wanting a free do. Amazing.

Oh god, and she's STILL claiming she's a 22. More like a 32 at this point. Does she really not think people have eyes?

 

[multiverse]

He's Dita's personal hairdresser? Holy shit, he really is lowering himself.

He's got way bigger clients than her, but she gets first billing after his own wig company on his 'gram. Here's some of his work on Dita.


His boyfriend is Shablamgela, who does Tess's makeup (free) a lot.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

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While no one really looks good with a fannypack, it's certainly nothing that deathfats should wear Tess.

He's got way bigger clients than her, but she gets first billing after his own wig company on his 'gram. Here's some of his work on Dita.

He also has a webseries produced by World of Wonder where Tess appeared on an episode (usually he does drag queens from RuPaul's Drag Race):

His Vintage Touch - WOW Presents Plus

Tony Medina is a hairstylist to the stars and the go-to guy for old Hollywood glamour. Each episode he will be joined by a Queen from RuPaul's Drag Race and gives them His Vintage Touch.

www.wowpresentsplus.com

So he must be feeling quite generous considering his career trajectory seems to only be going up while Tess's is, eeeh...

 

[SnarkySperg]

Did that story say she got rough news? Is she really gonna play this game? 'Oh poor me, I got bad news! But I'm not gonna tell you what it is!' and fishing for attention and shit? Ugh.

 

[mrspotatohead]

Wow, then he's an idiot if he's doing that user's hair for free at this point. There's nothing to be gained professionally from associating with such a sub D-lister. He should be asking her to pay like a normal client at this point if he's doing OK in the profession. Maybe give her a friend discount, but still.

Also, he still looks like a fetus in a baseball cap.

I'm pretty sure the whole story saga was a way to guilt him into coming over for free. "If your hair is snagged why not call me?" "Oh I can't afford that right now...but you know i did post that whole story about my hair....if you fixed mine it could be some good promotion for you...."

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

Hopefully her rough news included CPS taking away her kids.

 

[IBrokeBob]

Did that story say she got rough news? Is she really gonna play this game? 'Oh poor me, I got bad news! But I'm not gonna tell you what it is!' and fishing for attention and shit? Ugh.

Its pathetic when people vaguepost shit like this for attention. Its teenager/ narcissistic behavior in full bloom. The rough news was probably her hairdresser saying he wasnt giving her free shit anymore and that brushing her hair is a basic skill all human can master.

Oh but noes!! What a hateful ableist i am for suggesting that tess brush her own hair. I am flaunting my skinny privilege and marginalizing those who have upper arms the size of Volkswagens.

 

[Nightlife Monster Truck]

Trust me girl, you don't need to be pumping yourself up any more than you already are.

He's got way bigger clients than her, but she gets first billing after his own wig company on his 'gram. Here's some of his work on Dita.

I sincerely doubt that. Not possible.

 

[cactus]

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Trust me girl, you don't need to be pumping yourself up any more than you already are.


I sincerely doubt that. Not possible.

Those aren't short shorts in the least and just because they're riding up on the inner thigh because of chub rub doesn't make them so either.