Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[JohnDoe]

Eh, I dunno. Visiting a Rebel or Imperial battlecruiser would be a great attraction, but as a hotel theme?

"Hello, I'm a Lando Calrissian look-alike, Baron Administrator here to welcome you to the fantastic tourist attraction that is Cloud City, floating above picturesque Bespin! The top fifty levels of this humble mining platform host the most luxurious casinos and resort facilities in the sector! Be sure to try the buffet, with delicacies hypered in and prepared by our award winning chefs. Take a tour of Bespin's colorful Tibanna gas formations in a chartered Cloud Car. Or simply relax at one of our many pools under the beautiful light of Anoat! If you have any needs at all, just tell my assistant Lobot or any staff!"

Imagine the Cloud Car Aerial Tour (with simulator pods)

The beautiful suites:

The premier dining room (Vader optional):

The panoramic view on the ultramax screen surrounding the VIP 'landing pad' - an infinity pool in actuality:

All courtesy of the smoothest gambler, his cyborg bestie, and sharp dressed staff:

So why not come on down?

 

[Creep3r]

Eh, I dunno. Visiting a Rebel or Imperial battlecruiser would be a great attraction, but as a hotel theme?

"Welcome aboard the Imperial Battlecruiser Death Shadow. The breakfast buffet is open at six. If there's anything you need to make your stay more comfortable, or if you've forgotten any toiletries, please don't hesitate to call the Admiral."

It shouldn't be too hard to make it work.

"Welcome aboard the Mon Calamari Escort Cruiser Independence. Senators, delegates and civilians of interest currently traveling with us for safe passage to Yavin IV are free to join officers and crew members at the commissary or officer's lounge for breakfast at 0600. If there's anything you need to make your stay more comfortable, or if you require anything in particular, please don't hesitate to consult our ship's crew or service-droids. This vessel has had a long and proud history of service dating back to the days of the Galactic Civil War before its eventual conversion into an escort ship, but hopefully by the end of our voyage you will have as much pride in the history of this vessel as I have. Jes Ackbar signing out."

But even if Disney had gone with the original concept, they would still find a way to fuck it up and likely make a corny starship hotel. A Canto Blight hotel will be little different, and it won't help that its based on one of many divisive scenes from TLJ while still trying to be mostly original and being a completely different place altogether that only borrows a superficial aesthetic. Just look at how well "originality" and a sequel focus has helped Galaxy's Edge. For best results its best to go with actual familiar sights from movies people actually liked and which had more impact on cinema and our culture in a positive way.

"Hello, I'm a Lando Calrissian look-alike, Baron Administrator here to welcome you to the fantastic tourist attraction that is Cloud City, floating above picturesque Bespin! The top fifty levels of this humble mining platform host the most luxurious casinos and resort facilities in the sector! Be sure to try the buffet, with delicacies hypered in and prepared by our award winning chefs. Take a tour of Bespin's colorful Tibanna gas formations in a chartered Cloud Car. Or simply relax at one of our many pools under the beautiful light of Anoat! If you have any needs at all, just tell my assistant Lobot or any staff!"

Now this I dig.

 

[BScCollateral]

"Hello, I'm a Lando Calrissian look-alike, Baron Administrator here to welcome you to the fantastic tourist attraction that is Cloud City, floating above picturesque Bespin!"

Exactly. A hotel that's pretending to be a space resort (Bespin would be perfect), a restaurant that pretends to be the Mos Eisley cantina (or maybe something a bit less of a wretched hive), and souvenir shop that looks like a trading post.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

@GeneralFriendliness Seeing that post of yours with Mr. Krabs makes me think that he has similarities with Bob Iger.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Eh, I dunno. Visiting a Rebel or Imperial battlecruiser would be a great attraction, but as a hotel theme?

"Welcome aboard the Imperial Battlecruiser Death Shadow. The breakfast buffet is open at six. If there's anything you need to make your stay more comfortable, or if you've forgotten any toiletries, please don't hesitate to call the Admiral."

It can work very well for those who just need a room or berth to sleep and stash their stuff while they're out and about in the park.

 

[A Useless Fish]

I honestly cannot believe nobody has suggested a water park that's supposed to be set on Mon Calamari. Hell, you could have a Intergalactic Aquarium full of scary and massive animatronic underwater beasts that people could visit which you could walk under like the aquarium in Atlanta. Maybe you could even have an underwater ride of some kind where, in between seeing more passive creatures, you could get threatened by some huge beast with lots of tentacles and piles of teeth. The hotel could either be on one of the Mon Cal shipyards, where the guests can see and maybe visit a Mon Cal Cruiser being built, and you can even work in the starfighter game suggestions some others have made here with game rooms where 'volunteer' guests can jump in VR pods so they can pilot X-Wings to help repel the latest Imperial attempt to destroy said shipyards. All the staff can either be rebel volunteers, or dresse as Mon Cals or Quarren, who are the other wacky alien race that lives on the same planet with them, and since they'd be expected to stay in the hotel with AC, there wouldn't be any issue of employe discomfort or sweating.

With this idea you get: water, slides, rides, animatronic attractions, wacky aliens, potentially cool visuals, starfighter piloting and hopefully some good eateries and shops. Throw in some shows by 'exotic' aliens that the Mon Cal collected from earth like, say, seals, otters, whales and dolphins, and I think you'd have a winner.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Eh, I dunno. Visiting a Rebel or Imperial battlecruiser would be a great attraction, but as a hotel theme?

"Welcome aboard the Imperial Battlecruiser Death Shadow. The breakfast buffet is open at six. If there's anything you need to make your stay more comfortable, or if you've forgotten any toiletries, please don't hesitate to call the Admiral."

In terms of immersion, yeah, it would be weird, but then again, that is a hotel for a theme park, not a location for a LARP.
It's not like people stay in the Las Vegas Luxor Hotel and going "Why, this is nothing like actual Egypt, they even serve Budweiser here. This hotel-stay is ruined!". I wholeheartedly agree that it would make no sense in the context of SW to have a hotel in a Battleship, but I also think that it doesn't matter. Also, @GeneralFriendliness made a good point: You can always explain it away by claiming the nice rooms etc. are part of the higher-ups quarters. SW is a franchise where Princes and Princesses travel around in Battleships, so there'd be a few nice places like that. You could also have bare-bones hotel rooms that look like regular soldier quarters or even just "coffin hotel" like berths for those that just want a cheap place to sleep.

The point is, if the location is awesome and fun enough, people won't even care how much or how little sense it makes. One thing that's holding back GE is that they try to make it a theme park as well as an immersive experience, but they can't have both. Due to the Theme Park thingy, they need to have attractions, but due to the immersive shit, they can't have attractions. That's why it's just a SW-themed Merch-Mall.
A bit more honesty, less awkward larping (which is forbidden anyway, thanks to the costume ban) and a few more genuinely fun ideas would have helped GE a lot.

 

[BR55]

@GeneralFriendliness Seeing that post of yours with Mr. Krabs makes me think that he has similarities with Bob Iger.

Nonsense!
Eugene Krabs was a respected businessman who built himself up from nothing. And cheapness aside he did genuinely care for his employees and did in fact have a soul.
Bob Iger on the other hand does nothing and his only talent is snatching up every IP in sight like a Magpie seeing a shiny object.
Plus he's a Hollywood executive so by default he's a scumbag.

 

[Basil II]

Nonsense!
Eugene Krabs was a respected businessman who built himself up from nothing. And cheapness aside he did genuinely care for his employees and did in fact have a soul.
Bob Iger on the other hand does nothing and his only talent is snatching up every IP in sight like a Magpie seeing a shiny object.
Plus he's a Hollywood executive so by default he's a scumbag.

Krabs sold Spongebob's soul for 12 cents, albeit regretfully. Not to mention attempted murder of the Health Inspector.

 

[BR55]

Krabs sold Spongebob's soul for 12 cents, albeit regretfully.

62 cents actually. And he did repent of it so...I'm still giving this one to Krabs over Iger.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

You know, Disney should have wasted money on building a museum or another hotel instead of GE honestly.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

You know, Disney should have wasted money on building a museum or another hotel instead of GE honestly.

A Scrooge McDuck vault of gold would've been a better investment.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

So, some artist was tasked with designing a few bells for a church in Leipzig, Germany. He was supposed to decorate it with animal ornaments as a praise to all of creation and he decided to sneak something special in there:

I can't even be mad at that.

A Scrooge McDuck vault of gold would've been a better investment.

Would also allow people like Kennedy to commit Sudoku in style by jumping down head first into the vault.
Edit: Oh god, maybe that would be a good idea for the future of Disney and to motivate Producers not to make shitty movies. Built such a vault and fill it up with the money made off their movie's theatrical run. Then have to Producer jump into the vault. If it was a great success, he'll land safely. If it was a Solo-like bomb, he'll smash into the ground and be obliterated.

You know, Disney should have wasted money on building a museum or another hotel instead of GE honestly.

The cost of opportunity on SW is just insane. The movies seem to struggle (IX will do good, no doubt about it, but it will be a flop compared to TFA and TLJ, one can only hope it'll be a flop like Solo), merch sales are down, now they have 2 parks that seem to be mostly underused.
This year's fiscal report will be interesting.

 

[Raging Capybara]

one can only hope it'll be a flop like Solo

100% guaranteed it will be a massive flop. Where's the hype? The build-up in interest? The marketing? The trailers? The online shills? The movie will hit theaters in 5 months, the lack of buzz is so bizarre. Disney knows it is going to perform like shit and doesn't even pretend to care.

What we got so far is two articles about two untalented actresses crying reading the script, it's the best what the marketing team could manage to do with the stuff they have in hands.

And by the look of the sets and the teaser trailer, the budget of this movie was heavily cut compared to the previous 4 films. It looks like the absolute garbage, TLJ at least had impressive CGI and some nice practical effects as well. Now they are not giving a single fuck anymore.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

100% guaranteed it will be a massive flop. Where's the hype? The build-up in interest? The marketing? The trailers? The online shills? The movie will hit theaters in 5 months, the lack of buzz is so bizarre. Disney knows it is going to perform like shit and doesn't even pretend to care.

What we got so far is two articles about two untalented actresses crying reading the script, it's the best what the marketing team could manage to do with the stuff they have in hands.

And by the look of the sets and the teaser trailer, the budget of this movie was heavily cut compared to the previous 4 films. It looks like the absolute garbage, TLJ at least had impressive CGI and some nice practical effects as well. Now they are not giving a single fuck anymore.

I am afraid that a lot of fans will rationalize that "I have to see how this ends" or "Maybe Disney changed"... usually, fans that have been turned away will be really hard to win back, but Star Wars Fans might be too fickle to pull through with their boycott.
Star Wars as a brand is big enough that a lot of normies will watch it, but whatever happens, chances of this movie making it big in China are slim at best. So one key market is DOA, the western markets might deliver enough viewers, maybe not...

I would love to see the reasoning when IX hits theatres like Solo and just bombs hard. The Disney-shill salt and damage control will be off this world.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

100% guaranteed it will be a massive flop. Where's the hype? The build-up in interest? The marketing? The trailers? The online shills? The movie will hit theaters in 5 months, the lack of buzz is so bizarre. Disney knows it is going to perform like shit and doesn't even pretend to care.

What we got so far is two articles about two untalented actresses crying reading the script, it's the best what the marketing team could manage to do with the stuff they have in hands.

And by the look of the sets and the teaser trailer, the budget of this movie was heavily cut compared to the previous 4 films. It looks like the absolute garbage, TLJ at least had impressive CGI and some nice practical effects as well. Now they are not giving a single fuck anymore.

I would imagine Disney’s not going to have a embargo for the reviews, so they’ll mostly likely appear the day it is released. I doubt they didn’t do any reshoots, since JJ said he edited the film on set.

And I actually agree with you that by the look of it, Rise of Skywalker’s budget looks vastly cheaper than the last two in the ST; I say it’s budget is around $170-200 million, no way in hell it looks likes it’s over $200 million. Hell, that Rocketman movie that came out (very good movie by the way that Disney almost made) looks ten times better than Rise of Skywalker, and its more embarrassing since Rocketman cost $40 million to make.

To bring up Power Rangers again, Disney looks like they’re going the same route by giving them a cheap budget to work with while having little to none marketing buzz nor promotion. For example, Operation Overdrive, widely considered by fans as the worse of Power Rangers next to Megaforce, was given a extremely cheap budget for its concept and because of that plus the fact the show was shit, it had a effect on the ratings and merchandise, which I heard Disney brutally raped PR hard in. After Overdrive flopped, Disney used it as a excuse to justify that they had no desire for the brand and put the next two, Jungle Fury and RPM, in a unwatchable timeslot to justify their point. Disney would probably start doing it to Star Wars soon since they seem to finally realize how much time they are wasting with it (minus the sad reality that they won’t give up the IP).

 

[BScCollateral]

Personally, I don't wish for business failures. The people who get fired aren't the ones responsible, generally speaking.

It will be interesting to see what happens and how it gets spun.

 

[Creep3r]

Personally, I don't wish for business failures. The people who get fired aren't the ones responsible, generally speaking.

It will be interesting to see what happens and how it gets spun.

I mentioned a few pages back that while I enjoy ribbing on GE's failure, I do feel a bit sorry for the guests (like my friend) who went in thinking it was going to be some grand experience that took place on Tatooine (although that's what they get for avoiding spoilers and wanting it to be a "surprise") but who I most feel sorry for are these employees.

Look at this poor Wal-Mart granny at the pet store. She looks like she just wants to go home and lie down. Most of the employees look indifferent or miserable.

Disney not only screwed the pooch for SW but for countless low level employees as well. Even if the Cantina employees were dicks, I don't blame them considering the snobby rich assholes they had to deal with for so long during the reservation period in June.

It would be nice if someone like Kennedy and the Bobs would get the boot instead of these poor clerks, but they're fucking immune to any and all fiscal punishment. Even someone like Kennedy who would normally be expendable is untouchable due to her vast network of connections and daddy Spielberg constantly protecting her and JJ from all harm.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Personally, I don't wish for business failures. The people who get fired aren't the ones responsible, generally speaking.

It will be interesting to see what happens and how it gets spun.

I feel terrible for the low-level employees that will have to suffer for the incompetence of Kennedy and her yes-men.
Still, I want to see SW crash and burn. I want this to become a giant pile of porg-shaped rubble.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I feel terrible for the low-level employees that will have to suffer for the incompetence of Kennedy and her yes-men.
Still, I want to see SW crash and burn. I want this to become a giant pile of porg-shaped rubble.

I’m personally awaiting for a tell out from someone exposes the clusterfuck management on the brand by Disney.