[6 June '19] Phil claims to have fled the spud cave, now "settling into [his] new home" - "Loving it, visualizing what love I can give 440 square feet of Antifa Barracks 2.0"

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

I kinda wonder if maybe Phil is lying about the whole thing and he's still in his apartment. Like, losing the Booze Ogre made him so terrified of being alone and Kiwi Death Ninja Commandos are creeping 'round his dump, waiting for him to drop his guard so we can take him out. He was already scared shitless of us breaking down his door and killing/robbing/raping him when Slingblade was in the other room. How paranoid do you think he is now? Doesn't matter. We will find him no matter where he squats.

how pathetic do you have to be that losing a boozing worthless troon ogre bum who stole your room is a net negative? And then instead of running around your liberated shack screaming with joy you move out?

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

how pathetic do you have to be that losing a boozing worthless troon ogre bum who stole your room is a net negative? And then instead of running around your liberated shack screaming with joy you move out?

I still think even Phil is going to be lonely without other human interaction, and most of those interactions result in more content and allies for us (like Skarlett Krow, Tweaker the Cat and Weeping With Pitt). The only ones who could associate with Phil and not give us content are probably tremendous lolcows on their own. Either way, more for us to laugh about.

 

[Banh Xeo]

440sq ft?

Don't know how much love can fit in a space like that. You think the last apartment probably stank? Imagine Phil occupying something about this size:

So much less room for tardtivities

 

[lurk_moar]

Phil needs to convert to minimalism or extreme storage and organization options.

There is not enough room for a BDSM dungeon in there.

 

[obliviousbeard]

Somehow I'm doubtful that he got antifa/"antifa" goons to haul his stuff. But yeah, he's going to beg about stuff that somehow he lost in a move/never did have/was nicked by slingblade. And new bedroom furnishings for daughter bike. Or even second daughter bike.

 

[ON 190]

So much less room for tardtivities

You forget the vertical space, my friend. A 440-sq ft apartment will be filled floor-to-ceiling with Philth within weeks.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Has his girth yet reached 440 square feet?

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Good news guys, I got permission from the boys upstairs to redirect one of the Kiwi Satellites to the Willamette River to look out for Phil if we can't zero in on his new address the old-fashioned way by sundown. The tracking device we planted on Phil's belt has stopped returning a signal for some reason.

Remember this is all classified so let's just hope Phil isn't lurking here or our plans go up in smoke.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

The other tenants of that building have no idea what they’re in for, some concerned neighbors are gonna smell Phil through the floor boards thinks there’s a dead body and call the police.

 

[Ray Streip]

Phil needs to convert to minimalism or extreme storage and organization options.

There is not enough room for a BDSM dungeon in there.

It'll look more like a BDSM closet

 

[Big Nasty]

I wonder how long it will take for him to completely fill up the apartment with pizza boxes.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I wonder how long it will take for him to completely fill up the apartment with pizza boxes.

Your typical greasy wop dago eats pizza at a rate of about 1.5 large pizzas per day, except on days when lasagne or an enormous bowl of spaghetti is available. Someone do the math, making sure to account for the square footage of Phil's collection of LARP props and pleather bondage shit.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I hope all of his neighbors are dark skinned. That shit would be hysterical.

 

[Coldgrip]

How long until he attracts roaches?

 

[Army Burger]

How long until he attracts roaches?

>Implying that there's going to be any wait time before that happens.

 

[Kugelsak Kastengrus 6th]

How long until he attracts roaches?

>Implying that there's going to be any wait time before that happens.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of his clothing are already housing roach eggs.

 

[Army Burger]

I wouldn't be surprised if some of his clothing are already housing roach eggs.

There's probably a large assortment of creepy crawlies in his belongings.

 

[Guy Smiley]

440sq ft?

Don't know how much love can fit in a space like that. You think the last apartment probably stank? Imagine Phil occupying something about this size:

It totally works. Phil is so used to not having a bedroom that he just went ahead and moved into a place that doesn't have one.

 

[KE 521]

It totally works. Phil is so used to not having a bedroom that he just went ahead and moved into a place that doesn't have one.

I don’t know if that’s really his apartment. It’s just an example of what that square footage looks like. The apartments that are a strong contender are 1BR at 440 sq ft although idk how

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

There's probably a large assortment of creepy crawlies in his belongings.

If anyone who didn't like him at his old place had bedbugs in their apartment, which is a strong possibility in a section 8 complex, they might have spread them to Phil's apartment either accidentally or deliberately. I personally know of subsidized housing complexes where bedbugs have been weaponized, and if anyone can inspire thoughts of bloodsucking insect-based malice, it's Phil.