🌟 Internet Famous Jared Knabenbauer / ProJared / SinJared, Heidi O'Ferrall / AtelierHeidi & Holly Conrad / CommanderHolly - Divorce Fiasco, trashfire extraordinaire

[Dopey Cunt]

From what I've analyzed from this thread, a lot of people are saying that Ross should stay out of this and let the shitshow roll and I agree with the sentiment, but think of the advantage of seeing Ross drop some truthbombs on this scenario.


Holly, Jared, and Heidi are so biased in their methodology in trying to make their audiences favor them and see things merely through their own deluded filters of mind, it would be nice to see someone who was left to the wayside by the situation reveal everything. It would not only give perspective instead of us having to piece the story together, but Ross' view on the situation can be nearly unbiased to both sides. I feel as if him giving the true story of this and maybe even drop some info about the state of the Grumps can possibly reveal this whole story and whatever the hell happens at the Game Grumps. I dunno, I'm reaching, but it's a wish.

It has it's pros and cons.
The cons are that say he does have good intel and knowledge of what happened. That knowledge could damage more people than just Heidi, Jared and Holly. There could be more people involved, people who don't want to be ousted. If he puts all of that information out there, now he's opening up those people into this mess when they just wanted to fly under the radar and forget it even happened. It's the same thing with the Vic situation. He wants to keep things confidential because the potential leaked information could be severely damaging to other people and their lives would be affected for the better or worse for it. Ross could be protecting those people as well as himself by staying silent and no matter how you look at it, keeping silent is the smartest thing he can do here.
The single pro is that he could possibly eliminate any feelings of doubt about the whole situation by revealing the real circumstances between each party, but again, doing things would not really benefit him at all since by this point he's effectively cut off all ties with the trio and talking about them now isn't something that really makes sense from his perspective. Plus, I doubt he has any more knowledge about this than any of the rest of us. Ross wasn't as far as we know, an active participant in their weirdo Mormon cult.

EDIT: At least he wasn't, from my knowledge banging other broads. Or maybe he was, now I'm not sure anymore. But those girls shouldn't be placed in such a precarious position.

 

[sharklasers]

True. We got carried away with boiling them down to (sometimes literal) caricatures in order to make better popcorn material. And now that all the nitty gritty details about this whole mess are coming to light it's not as easily digestible so to speak.

I'm guilty of that. I was completely against Jared and Holly and believed Heidi, then I started questioning things she was saying and saw her responses. She tried looking like the hurt victim, but came off like the abusive one. All the lies by omission, the deflections, the twisting of situations, the "this is ok until it's not ok then it was never ok" way that she's handling it, the aggressive lashing out at anyone who shows she's not innocent in this, those are not signs of some jilted lover. Now I'm seeing things that make Holly and Jared's relationship seem much more acceptable and Heidi is coming off more like the abusive and controlling one. It's not cut and dry, and underage fan allegations aside, Jared could be anything from completely at fault for everything to almost entirely innocent. Jared may still be exceptional, but Heidi leaned in too hard on the narrative that she is nothing but a victim and did nothing wrong, and is showing a lot of signs of an manipulative abuser.

Everything is fucked up, but I'd rather know that we were mislead than wish for times where one party was controlling a false narrative..

 

[mr dink]

If this is true than another questionable thing rises up. ..
If Ross was totally cool with her fucking on the side and still gets very well along with her, why didn't he at least state something on Twitter when she was being called out a cheating whore? I know they broke up and all, but if you were still buddy buddy with your ex wife, you'd feel bad for her being bombed with false accusations, right? Just a short statement of "She didn't cheat on me, I was aware she was involved." or something similar.

Ross deleted the divorce tweet ("divorcing because she's moving out to the state with trees" thing) and also went to mental health retreats, so it doesn't seem like he "wasn't that torn up".
Unless he is a master manipulator and a giant asshole too lol

When they first announced the split months ago theres no reason not to believe that they tried to stay friends. Perhaps it was only after that he saw the bigger picture...divorce is messy and complicated. In any break-up where the couple says it was mutual there is still some hint of bad feelings for sure.

The reddit anon posting seems to only be getting his info 2nd hand from people who know more (if we are choosing to believe him) so his claim that Ross is not that torn up could easily be out of date info or just based on Ross just trying to live his life as normal/keep it cool in social situations.

 

[Slimy Time]

There needs to come a time when people have to stop blaming their mental illness and everything else for their own actions and learn to own up and take responsibility for what they've done. By that process, people can learn to heal and work to redeem their actions and ultimately better themselves for it. It's the standard process humans undertake in order to grow as people. Mistakes are made, and that's okay because we are human and flawed at our cores. But when we are unable to recognize those errors, we stay stuck in that same loop of always blaming others for everything and for our lot in life. Self reflection goes a long way, even if you happen to be a really messed up individual. When you are like this, you'll stay stagnant forever and that fundamentally goes against what we as humans are. We're meant to grow and evolve through our experiences...our mistakes in particular. That's why it's important to realize when you fuck up, why, and accept that you fucked up and do what you have to do to either make sure it never happens again or do your damnedest to try to not let it happen again. What's that saying again? Even if you lose...you still win in the end. Your reward is the newly given insight and wisdom from that loss.

If you don't do this, you end up like DSP...

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

Am I the only one who misses when this whole mess was a lot more cut and dry with only Jared and Holly being the lolcows? Now with everyone (even potentially Ross, the golden boy of this fiasco) revealing themselves to be equally insane it's just too chaotic to really follow properly anymore with all the he said she said bullshit being flung at 5 different angles.

Wait, what the fuck did Ross do? This thread is basically worthless to read through in its entirety, but I missed this. Can someone point me to an archive of him doing an insane thing?

 

[Dopey Cunt]

Wait, what the fuck did Ross do? This thread is basically worthless to read through in its entirety, but I missed this. Can someone point me to an archive of him doing an insane thing?

Holly made a tweet that basically stated that Ross was okay and agreed to an open marriage so she did nothing wrong but then she deleted it I think. It's archived somewhere in here.
As far as I know, Ross hasn't confirmed or denied it.

 

[Fuckface34]

I agree on principle, but I think one of the problems is that people here get too invested in the narrative and put certain parties on a pedestal while pillorying others when, in reality, it's probably more complex than that since we're dealing with fundamentally flawed people.

The fact that Holly and Heidi are still pouring gasoline over the fire doesn't help either. No one's perfect, sure, but people are still going to be invested because neither can put their foot in their mouth and stay quiet for a while. It seems on that regard PBG was right, the issue should've stayed private.

 

[Knyttet]

I don't know every single bit of this fiasco. Is it safe to say everyone is horribly in the wrong except Ross?

Possibly. According to Holly Ross was okay with being cucked by Jared. Whether she's lying or not is still up for debate though.

 

[omori]

If Ross ok’d her little affair there’d be no reason for her to delete that particular tweet.

 

[Colmerry]

If Ross ok’d her little affair there’d be no reason for her to delete that particular tweet.

Exactly. Ross is the only one staying out of this, and therefore, the only one who hasn't made up any insane lies at any point. He's really the only one I trust if he makes a statement on anything.

 

[PessimisticPanda]

Stepping back in to this trashfire to say:

Ross needs to go scorched Earth on everyone.

I don't think anyone involved has come out on top of this. Whatever revenge thrill that Ross could get from this can't be worth getting swept up in the shitstorm this has become.

 

[sharklasers]

If Ross ok’d her little affair there’d be no reason for her to delete that particular tweet.

Any time Ross gets mentioned, people point out how he doesn't want to be involved. It could still be true and she just decided to not put more on him, especially when he's taking a wellness break. A tweet like that probably made more people tweet at him and message him asking for verification, and if they are still friends, she may have deleted it hoping it'd save him.

 

[Shady Attorney]

If Ross did agree to an open relationship why would he need to take breaks away from the internet? He agreed to it. I don’t see Jared, Heidi or even Holly ashamed of their actions with polyamory. Ross is the only one acting like he is not comfortable with the news of Holly’s actions.

Either he was never comfortable with an open relationship to begin with or Holly did cheat on Ross and deleted her tweet because it was a blatant lie

 

[rabo]

I'm guilty of that. I was completely against Jared and Holly and believed Heidi, then I started questioning things she was saying and saw her responses. She tried looking like the hurt victim, but came off like the abusive one. All the lies by omission, the deflections, the twisting of situations, the "this is ok until it's not ok then it was never ok" way that she's handling it, the aggressive lashing out at anyone who shows she's not innocent in this, those are not signs of some jilted lover. Now I'm seeing things that make Holly and Jared's relationship seem much more acceptable and Heidi is coming off more like the abusive and controlling one. It's not cut and dry, and underage fan allegations aside, Jared could be anything from completely at fault for everything to almost entirely innocent. Jared may still be exceptional, but Heidi leaned in too hard on the narrative that she is nothing but a victim and did nothing wrong, and is showing a lot of signs of an manipulative abuser.

Everything is fucked up, but I'd rather know that we were mislead than wish for times where one party was controlling a false narrative..

Aye, guilty too. Altho I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, this is an other case of a woman coming out to acuse somebody on twitter. My normal reaction there is "doubt" but what really didn't help here was all this "evidence" of Jared being a creep to his fans. With Heidi omiting the part about all of this being okay'd by her initially, just coming out with it. And she knew, that's why she went right ahead and asked about the nudes, knowing full well Jared's penis would wind up all over the internet and it would just all back up her claims.

Furthermore, initially Heidi's tweets were calm, cool and seemed very well thought out, which usually when a person goes to acuse somebody on twitter they get hysterical right away but Heidi seemed collected. Not so much anymore because she didn't stop tweeting and as more and more people call her bullshit she's losing that composure.

All this contributed to me not going with my initial instincts of "Wait and see" and jumped on her side. It looked like this wans't the usual made up bullshit. Nah, it was true, just that you fucking set them up, Heidi!

Jared, you dumb fool, if you had not been a gross creep to your fans you could have gotten out of this. Hell, I'd probably be coming over to his side now if it wasn't for this. But this leaves it where everybody's a fucking mess. I'll never be able to watch your LPs again and see if you finished the LTTP+Metroid Randomizer run.

I mean god damn it, I've seen your penis now!

 

[sharklasers]

If Ross did agree to an open relationship why would he need to take breaks away from the internet? He agreed to it. I don’t see Jared, Heidi or even Holly ashamed of their actions with polyamory. Ross is the only one acting like he is not comfortable with the news of Holly’s actions.

Either he was never comfortable with an open relationship to begin with or Holly did cheat on Ross and deleted her tweet because it was a blatant lie

There's a third option, that he was fine with it until it became the end of his marriage. He could have been on board with it at first, but the end result was her falling more for Jared and deciding it would be better to divorce and be with him. That has to hurt, knowing those decisions that seemed OK at the time were now the reason your marriage ended with someone you knew and loved for years. If I was Ross and that happened to me, I'd probably still be a bit broken up about it, and having it brought up again, this time in full view of the public, may be too much. He probably loved her very much, she fell out of love with him, and he's still feeling the effects of it. Doesn't have to mean that he wasn't comfortable with opening the relationship up, or that she cheated, he may just still be healing from what that lead to.

The more I consider that, the more heartbreaking it is. Holly believes she's asexual, they open their marriage and are both hoping it'll help with their needs, Ross is fine with it and maybe even enjoys it on his side, Jared knows Holly has an open marriage and for better or worse decides to tell her, she gets this rush of emotions and realizes she feels the same, begins to fall deeply in love with Jared, realizes she doesn't love Ross any more and wants to be with Jared, they divorce amicably, and Ross has to watch this woman he loves leave to be with one of his friends. Her falling in love with someone else may have been an unintended consequence, and they never saw it coming until it happened, but Ross ends up being left by a woman he still loves and wants the best for, who realizes she doesn't love him back but may still care for him too. If that's what happened, poor Ross...

 

[driveron/please]

We can give Ross this week. But man, being so unwilling to get involved in drama that you won't speak up when your exwife makes such a claim then deletes it is almost as bad as getting cucked by projared itself. If it's true is he only staying out of it all to save face, cause he know he'd be ridiculed? His ex already said she didnt feel sexual feelings until a walk with Projared, can't get too much lower than that. Still think its weird Holly unfollowed ross pretty recently i guess and even weirder that Jared still follows Ross. The game grumps channel deleted videos with Jared even before the first heidi tweets so either the guy who was doing the investigation at normal boots told Arin about it, and he decided to be proactive about something for the first time in his life, or Ross told them and they deleted it out of respect for him, which would make me think he definitely was upset about it all.

 

[Dopey Cunt]

There's a third option, that he was fine with it until it became the end of his marriage. He could have been on board with it at first, but the end result was her falling more for Jared and deciding it would be better to divorce and be with him. That has to hurt, knowing those decisions that seemed OK at the time were now the reason your marriage ended with someone you knew and loved for years. If I was Ross and that happened to me, I'd probably still be a bit broken up about it, and having it brought up again, this time in full view of the public, may be too much. He probably loved her very much, she fell out of love with him, and he's still feeling the effects of it. Doesn't have to mean that he wasn't comfortable with opening the relationship up, or that she cheated, he may just still be healing from what that lead to.

And this is why any prospect of any open relationship is AIDS.
Anyone who says they want an open relationship just means they want their partner's permission to be a cheatin' scumbag. I can't fathom why anyone would ever think it's a good idea to have an open relationship when 9 times out of 10 it ends is utter failure. Like, stop trying to cheat the system by keeping a side person for "emotional support" while banging 7 other people and trying to come up with whatever shit excuse to make yourself feel good and justify your shitty actions.
The moment Heidi suggested an open relationship is the moment she doomed their marriage.

 

[sharklasers]

And this is why any prospect of any open relationship is AIDS.
Anyone who says they want an open relationship just means they want their partner's permission to be a cheatin' scumbag. I can't fathom why anyone would ever think it's a good idea to have an open relationship when 9 times out of 10 it ends is utter failure.

I have seen stories where people "found out they were asexual" after marrying someone, their partner now has needs that they aren't having fulfilled that weigh on the relationship, and so they try opening the marriage for their partner to get those needs fulfilled while still being with them. Usually it ends up with the non-asexual partner wanting to be with the one that can fulfill their needs, or they realize that it didn't fix anything and get a divorce anyway. This seems to be a subversion of that, where Holly may have allowed Ross to get his needs taken care of by others, but then she fell for Jared after he admitted his feelings for her.

Lesson of the day is, if you and your partner are not compatible, it's better to leave than try something drastic to fix it.

 

[driveron/please]

I have seen stories where people "found out they were asexual" after marrying someone, their partner now has needs that they aren't having fulfilled that weigh on the relationship, and so they try opening the marriage for their partner to get those needs fulfilled while still being with them. Usually it ends up with the non-asexual partner wanting to be with the one that can fulfill their needs, or they realize that it didn't fix anything and get a divorce anyway. This seems to be a subversion of that, where Holly may have allowed Ross to get his needs taken care of by others, but then she fell for Jared after he admitted his feelings for her.

Lesson of the day is, if you and your partner are not compatible, it's better to leave than try something drastic to fix it.

Honestly I'm taking what she said about never feeling anything before that walk as meaning the asexuality thing was for attention since the beginning. She's talked about it for years, but idk its never seemed all too genuine. Also still doubt she went into a hospital when all this drama broke out. What would a hospital even say? How would she be out this quickly if they saw she was at the point of "having self harming thoughts" the second her uwu mental health trashwitch echochamber had a leak? Its either fucking pathetic or shes a bigger piece of shit lying about that.

 

[PrincessHomura]

If Ross did agree to an open relationship why would he need to take breaks away from the internet? He agreed to it. I don’t see Jared, Heidi or even Holly ashamed of their actions with polyamory. Ross is the only one acting like he is not comfortable with the news of Holly’s actions.

Either he was never comfortable with an open relationship to begin with or Holly did cheat on Ross and deleted her tweet because it was a blatant lie

You seem to be under the impression that open marriages and polyamory happen because two stable people both think it's amazing. No, it happens because one extremely unstable person wants to fuck around and because of the deep bond between these two people, the other gets bullied into going along with it. When someone suggests an open marriage or polyamory, what that actually means is "I'm going to cheat on you and if you say no we're getting a divorce". Most people realise this as well, and prefer not getting divorced because they're desperate to make it work even though there's no hope or point anymore.

For more examples of this in action, look no further than our /r/polyamory thread. It's literally the exact same thing every time. The most fun examples is when the person who coerces the other one into doing it then ends up with no prospects while the reluctant one gets all the dick or vagina or both they wanted, leaving the initial degenerate in a hell of their own making. This is possibly what happened to Heidi with Jared, but it's hard to say definitively.

Spoiler: Theorycrafting with no factual basis

To me personally, based on Heidi's behaviour in the tweets we've seen from Holly, it looks to me like Jared is the one who made Heidi agree to polyamory and she was desperately putting up a facade of "h-hey look how cool this is and look how supportive i am of this our marriage can still be saved, r-right?" but that's neither here nor there.