🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon, alleged rapist and revenge pornographer. Exiled in Mexico carlesss on a diet of slop. Has triple titties. Wanted to fuck Keffals' moobs.

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Shady Attorney powiedział(a):
Wyświetl załącznik 720670
Yeah guys. Why would he make it up...? ?
archive
Edit: Oh i know why
Jim is streaming
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZSYRrvB0B4E
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I'm disgusted by this man's feeble body. This is what an unholy cocktail of bad genetics, no exercise, drug abuse, and a bad work ethic will do to your life.

You're not working construction or anything difficult @theralph . If you had half a brain you'd realize you'd get sympathy shekels out the ass. Half your audience are protective soccer moms at this point anyway. They'd give anything to make their wittle walphie feel better.

But no; instead the Gunt throws away two days of income because he was "out in the wind". Seriously consider ending yourself @theralph if you're that f-ing fragile.

AnOminous powiedział(a):
I wonder if he remembered why he was there when he woke up in jail.
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I have heard him state that he doesn't remember swinging at the cop. His story does seem to change whenever he relates it though - sometimes he implies he was framed, sometimes he takes full responsibility.
 
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Kamikaze powiedział(a):
I'm disgusted by this man's feeble body. This is what an unholy cocktail of bad genetics, no exercise, drug abuse, and a bad work ethic will do to your life.

You're not working construction or anything difficult @theralph . If you had half a brain you'd realize you'd get sympathy shekels out the ass. Half your audience are protective soccer moms at this point anyway. They'd give anything to make their wittle walphie feel better.

But no; instead the Gunt throws away two days of income because he was "out in the wind". Seriously consider ending yourself @theralph if you're that f-ing fragile.
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Ralph stated on stream that a 12-13 hour workweek is hard, now that was in reference to Zidan and Gaytor who work real big boy jobs on top of the Killstream TRR Tonight, but that pretty much what constitutes Ralph's "job/career", aside from occasionally writing for his dead website. I'll even be generous and say he does an hour of prep work for each show (he obviously doesn't, but this is my way of making him look even less pathetic than he is), and even then, that's only a 15-hour workweek. This highlights a couple of things:
-What an absolute lazy POS Ralph is
-How easy Patty O'Furinture's patented E-grifting formula is (Sit down, be entertaining, read superchats) and how exceptional Ralph is for fucking that up
-And raising the question if Ralph has had actual employment that required clocking in and out for a period of 30 hours or more that did not involve blogging, being a sperg on the internet, being incarcerated, and/or selling pot?
 
shioq powiedział(a):
imagine all the excuses he had when he was arrested for assaulting an police officer.
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"you know G̶a̶t̶o̶r̶ soph it's not so hard to assault a officer of the law... Just put the bottle to your mouth...black out"
720807
 
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The Weasel powiedział(a):
Yeah, it was Danish Police, aka Alex.
Alex had been acting like a preemptive hall monitor in regard to the StreamMe leader board, having observed SPCC & Null vying for 3rd place by doing last-minute streams wherein they attempted to wrack up leader-board points by encouraging their viewers to spam their chats.
Alex felt that these were kike tactics which were unfair to the other leader-board contenders.
This led to Alex being seen as an object of ridicule for being a dramatic sperg by most people (outside of his own chat regulars) who had any opinion on the matter, including Ralph.
Head-butting between Alex & Ralph ensued, with Alex looking for (or threatening to look for?) Ralph's arrest record online.
At some point during a stream, Alex accidentally showed onscreen a list of email addresses? or other info about regulars of his chat.
In response to the threat of finding the arrest record, Ralph found the stream (or a screenshot from it?) where the info about the regulars was mistakenly shown, & purposely circulated it whilst insisting that it wasn't doxing since Alex was the one who originally showed the info.
This led to further animosity between Alex & Ralph, which culminated in a stream during which they both were very drunk & angry, wherein Alex said some sort of insult about Nora, to which Ralph retaliated by taunting Alex about his girlfriend or fiancée, who allegedly died (of cancer iirc), by singing an impromptu, cremation-themed parody of “Dust In The Wind.”
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It was a screenshot from Danish Police's phone that showed his and people that he knew phone number. Pretty sure it was IRL people that he knew. Pretty boring all around.

Supposedly the dead fiance thing was a larp as well.
 
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tuscangarder powiedział(a):
Supposedly the dead fiance thing was a larp as well.
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Yeah, I remember there being uncertainty as to whether the girlfriend was real or fictitious.
Either way though, since no one (except Alex) knew for sure, it left a bad taste in my mouth & demonstrated (to me at least) just how petty & trashy Ralph actually is, particularly when drunk.
 
Ugh. I feel like I'm at the zoo and they are keeping the chimps from me. FOR 2 DAYS.

@theralph you better make a show tonight ya lazy fuck. Theres no dumpsterfire without you, big (gut) guy. Just a dumpster smolder.

Dance, monkey, dance.

Actually that was a joke but fuck. Maybe some dancing would ACTUALLY be beneficial for your health.

Hey you might as well get used to moving. There arent many jobs that allow you to sit on your ass all day. Unless you wanna work at a call center, but with your diet and lack of exercise? Your gunt would double in size. Easy. Better get dancing.
 
Lord Akira powiedział(a):
-How easy Patty O'Furinture's patented E-grifting formula is (Sit down, be entertaining, read superchats) and how exceptional Ralph is for fucking that up
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Well, Ralph has figured out the sitting down and reading superchats part. It's the 'be entertaining' part where the Ralphamale struggles. Just like the kumite, where every entertaining moment was the result of someone other than Tonka, Ralph stumbled upon hosting an entertaining show. Outside of drunkenly screaming "Matt NOOOO" I can't think of a moment where Ralph himself was funny or entertaining. Especially after the Miami fiasco, it's hard to imagine that he knows what people consider entertaining.
 
T-Ter powiedział(a):
Dance, monkey, dance.

Actually that was a joke but fuck. Maybe some dancing would ACTUALLY be beneficial for your health.
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I can see it now.
THE COMEBACK OF THE YEAR, times TWO & at a combined weight of 900+ pounds,
Ethan Ralph & Amberlyn Reid join forces in a collaboration:
"GUNTY & GORLY: Dance Till You (& The Pounds) Drop"
 
The Weasel powiedział(a):
I can see it now.
THE COMEBACK OF THE YEAR, times TWO & at a combined weight of 900+ pounds,
Ethan Ralph & Amberlyn Reid join forces in a collaboration:
"GUNTY & GORLY: Dance Till You (& The Pounds) Drop"
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That'd be a 9.0 on the Richter scale! They would have to declare a state of emergency, bring in FEMA.
 
Shady Attorney powiedział(a):
You think Ralph could deal with human interaction? He can’t even moderate his own streams. How in the hell could he handle angry callers?
All I can see Ralph doing adequately is being a mailman.
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  • Be the Gunt
  • Get your big break as a US postal worker
  • Walk 10 kg package to the door of a suburban home
  • Wheezing, out of breath
  • Brain now hypoxic, vision blurry from the exertion, motor system compromised
  • Fumbles mail in the cab, takes him an hour to resort it as his feeble body continues to recover from the extreme stress of the package delivery
  • Gets sick from the wind blowing in the side of the open cab
  • Out sick for the rest of the week
  • Next week - "I need to bring some Maker's Mark to handle the "stress""
  • Cops let him off despite catching him driving with a BAC of 0.20
  • They then laugh together at the spergs on 8 chan.
  • Falls asleep in cab
  • Cops come to wake him up, he takes a swing
  • The cycle of the eternal Gunt repeats
 
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Lord Akira powiedział(a):
-And raising the question if Ralph has had actual employment that required clocking in and out for a period of 30 hours or more that did not involve blogging, being a sperg on the internet, being incarcerated, and/or selling pot?
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This is actually a legitimately interesting question. What DID he do for a living before he became a GG "journalist"?
 
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