I am a Trans Woman. I have explicitly out Trans since 2010.
I have survived 5 years of houselessness for being out trans and refusing to go back into closet because some amongst the trans community deemed me an 'embarassment' in their arbitrary construct of Trans community.
I also refused to compromise with capitalism (as in specifically to remain employed with a company that deemed my existence as a trans woman a threat against their power dynamic structure, so I left them)
Again, I paid the price for being who and what I am.
Those prices were poverty (an issue prior to being out trans, now further exacerbated by job loss) , in February 2011 I left my mom's house, with nothing stable or secure, lasting housing lined up
It was winter, Philadelphia. I packed what I could and left for the unknown.
Houselessness ruled my very existence from 12 February 2011 until 7 October 2016.
October 2012, I took my chances and left Philadelphia for Portland.
October 2013- January 2015, I would be in exile in California away from Portland for winning social security benefits
January 2015, I would return to Portland, only to have to flee from Kiwi Farms stalker-bros harassing me out of Portland to California.
The second California exile in Oakland would last from April 2015 until July 2016 and finally ended in October 2016.
Concurrent to my time houseless in Portland and the SF Bay Area - I faced a lot of transmisogynist disposability in activist. Even a violent assault in December 2012 because people in Occupy Portland because of my 'internet past' citing my ED articles that deadname me.
Apparently facing years of organized cyberstalking in grounds for being assaulted by some self-proclaimed leftist within Occupy Portland.
I have not forgotten that night of 20 December 2012. 12-14 punches, subconjunctival hemorrhage in my eye. It could have been worse if I didn't shield the blows to my face. I also had no exit out where I was entrapped and the only option left was to attack those whom encircled me because I was cornered and fearing grave harm to life and limb.
I seen the violent side of call out culture & cancel culture.
From that night, and what I suffered from that - I don't participate in call out culture and cancel culture (or at least I won't be the one to start it where it is actually warranted)
That night in 2012 haunts me, and makes me leery of any vanguard organizations or groups.
So I am rather arms length and leery of who I organize with in activist circles.
That night in 2012 still fucks with me. That assault is going to fuck with me until my death. I have a hard time believing people and trusting them.
Ever wonder why if you encounter me in person I am armed to the teeth? And that damn belt I wear?
Blame 10+ years of organized cyberstalking terrorism, blame childhood abuse (physical and sexual at the hands of my father)
I have Complex PTSD. I don't fuck around with cis people, liberals, authoritarian leftists, bootlickers, fash etc., anyone who wants me dead and just can't or doesn't say it to my face. I have that sixth sense of detecting who will ultimately end up harming me and who if they ever get into power will be my jailer and throw me behind bars and throw away the key.
This is why I am an Insurrectionary Anarchist, specifically an Anarcho-Communist. I really have a distrust of politicians and charismatic social media personalities who use call out culture and cancel culture to garner Social capital to further boost themselves with their followers or their circles of friends/comrades/etc.
I function best in an affinity group, not some vanguard organization or bullshit construct of community. Also, fuck ideological purity.
I have more friends and comrades in antifascist circles than I do of say Portland's Trans community. I have had no ability to combat the narrative put out against me by Kiwi Farms and whoever else who has it out to see me harmed or dead.
And I have been dealing with organized cyberstalking and various whisper campaigns for over 10 years.
I have heard it all.
Seen it all.
Been assaulted.
Suffered years of houselessness that could have ended sooner than 2016 if the trolls and villians were ignored by comrades
To my enemies who have an agenda to harm me.
Call out posts, cancel culture posts, two ED articles and a Kiwi Farms subforum have not been successful in killing me.
You are going to have to go kill me if you really want me gone.
Just ask Kiwi Farms and their threats they make on me on a regular basis.
I am not afraid of death. I have been sitting with myself and death every single day since I came out Trans in 2010. Since the initial rounds of cyberstalking in 2008.
Since birth basically.
Try me.
Fuck around and find out.