Kiwi Farms inspired tarot cards

Would you be interested in designing Lolcow themed tarot cards?


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:biggrin: Alright, here's my contribution:

upload_2018-12-8_23-18-43.png


The Emperor's head is fittingly adorned with his magisterial crown.

In his left hand he holds a globe, symbolizing the world over which he rules.

The flowing white beard bears testament to his unfathomable wisdom.

In his right hand he wields a scepter of Ankh, symbolizing his authority over life.

Like his beard, his draped, scarlet robes give this powerful figure an aura of experience, and harkens back to the wisdom of the Ancients.

The Emperor sits upon his imposing throne. Four ram heads betoken power on both sides, symbolizing strength, masculinity, and the God of War.

Behind lie harsh, barren mountains, symbolizing The Emperor's unyielding authority.

upload_2018-12-8_23-20-50.png


Adorned upon the head of Darksydephil, or as he dubbed himself: "The King of Hate", because he turns the hate he receives into strength, is his Sonic hat. For some reason, Phil has kept a photo of himself in this hat on his social media for... god knows how long. Over the years it's become associated with him, appearing in parody videos.

As the eye is drawn downwards, it will discover, below a bulbous Gin Blossom nose, a weird, patchy goatee.

Across Phil's bizarre negative trapezius muscles and down his noodle arms, one will find held in Phil's left hand an onion. A while back, Pew Die Pie dubbed Phil "The Onion Man". The name stuck enough for it to find its way into the DSP Sub-Forum's description.

Gripped in Phil's right hand, he wields... a very small scepter of Ankh. This symbolizes the infamous "Incident" when Phil accidentally streamed himself jerking off. Fortunately for our purposes here, Rider and Waite saw fit to give the colour of The Emperor's flesh the same colour as his scepter.

Across Phil's chest is emblazoned his own logo. The T shirt depicted here is the shirt Phil wore for his attempted comedy series "Project 7". Not long after the making of P7, Phil would alienate his only two friends, who starred in the series alongside himself. Inexplicably moving across the country, he wouldn't contact them again, except in middle of the night texts, drunkenly asking why they hated him. Years later, Phil would, without batting an eye, stream himself watching P7 and those two friends he pushed away. During the retrospective viewing, he wore that very same T shirt.

Underneath the "DARKSYDEPHIL" logo can be seen what the inexperienced may take to be the man-boobs of atrophy. However, it should be known that these are in fact manly pectoral muscles, still visible after god knows how long since he claimed to have lifted weights.

Below the 5 year old tear stained T shirt is sweatpants. "One of the hardest working people on the planet" rolls out of bed, waddles over to his game room ("office"), and streams in the clothes he likely slept in.

In the times Phil's feet have been visible, he was often not wearing socks. Whether or not this was because of his gout is unknown. Depicted here, on Phil's feet, is Phil's gout.

For his throne, Phil rests on his crumbling loveseat. Well, actually he rests on a back pillow which rests on the loveseat. Phil will have you know that it is for the serious injury he sustained after a car crash... or from playing football... or something. On either side of the loveseat rest "gamer" throw pillows. In case you didn't know, Phil's a Gamer.

Behind Phil can be seen his "office", in which Phil streams his "gameplay". Where the green screen in his garage would be if he cared to set it up, hangs soundproof foam in a limp attempt at professionalism.

Note the IV alighted above Phil's head. The Emperor card's number is especially symbolic here. Many years ago, Phil came in 4th place at an official Street Fighter (an arcade game) competition. He's carried the victory with him ever since, as it cemented his authority as "one of the best overall gamers in the country". At least it did in the very small world over which he rules.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
:biggrin: Alright, here's my contribution:

Wyświetl załącznik 610766

The Emperor's head is fittingly adorned with his magisterial crown.

In his right hand he holds a globe, symbolizing the world over which he rules.

The flowing white beard bears testament to his unfathomable wisdom.

In his left hand he wields a scepter of Ankh, symbolizing his authority over life.

Like his beard, his draped, scarlet robes give this powerful figure an aura of experience, and harkens back to the wisdom of the Ancients.

The Emperor sits upon his imposing throne. Four ram heads betoken power on both sides, symbolizing strength, masculinity, and the God of War.

Behind lie harsh, barren mountains, symbolizing The Emperor's unyielding authority.

Wyświetl załącznik 610769

Adorned upon the head of Darksydephil, or as he dubbed himself: "The King of Hate", because he turns the hate he receives into strength, is his Sonic hat. For some reason, Phil has kept a photo of himself in this hat on his social media for... god knows how long. Over the years it's become associated with him, appearing in parody videos.

As the eye is drawn downwards, it will discover, below a bulbous Gin Blossom nose, a weird, patchy goatee.

Across Phil's bizarre negative trapezius muscles and down his noodle arms, one will find held in Phil's right hand an onion. A while back, Pew Die Pie dubbed Phil "The Onion Man". The name stuck enough for it to find its way into the DSP Sub-Forum's description.

Gripped in Phil's left hand, he wields... a very small scepter of Ankh. This symbolizes the infamous "Incident" when Phil accidentally streamed himself jerking off. Fortunately for our purposes here, Rider and Waite saw fit to give the colour of The Emperor's flesh the same colour as his scepter.

Across Phil's chest is emblazoned his own logo. The T shirt depicted here is the shirt Phil wore for his attempted comedy series "Project 7". Not long after the making of P7, Phil would alienate his only two friends, who starred in the series alongside himself. Inexplicably moving across the country, he wouldn't contact them again, except in middle of the night texts, drunkenly asking why they hated him. Years later, Phil would, without batting an eye, stream himself watching P7 and those two friends he pushed away. During the retrospective viewing, he wore that very same T shirt.

Underneath the "DARKSYDEPHIL" logo can be seen what the inexperienced may take to be the man-boobs of atrophy. However, it should be known that these are in fact manly pectoral muscles, still visible after god knows how long since he claimed to have lifted weights.

Below the 5 year old tear stained T shirt is sweatpants. "One of the hardest working people on the planet" rolls out of bed, waddles over to his game room ("office"), and streams in the clothes he likely slept in.

In the times Phil's feet have been visible, he was often not wearing socks. Whether or not this was because of his gout is unknown. Depicted here, on Phil's feet, is Phil's gout.

For his throne, Phil rests on his crumbling loveseat. Well, actually he rests on a back pillow which rests on the loveseat. Phil will have you know that it is for the serious injury he sustained after a car crash... or a football injury... or something. On either side of the loveseat rest "gamer" throw pillows. In case you didn't know, Phil's a Gamer.

Behind Phil can be seen his "office", in which Phil streams his "gameplay". Where the green screen in his garage would be if he cared to set it up, hangs soundproof foam in a limp attempt at professionalism.

Note the IV alighted above Phil's head. The Emperor card's number is especially symbolic here. Many years ago, Phil came in 4th place at an official Street Fighter (an arcade game) competition. He's carried the victory with him ever since, as it cemented his authority as "one of the best overall gamers in the country". At least it did in the very small world over which he rules.

Wonderfully crafted! :o
 
@Big Bad Fish At first I thought you had put the zero above Chris' head :lol: A fitting number. He should of course be the first (last?) card of the Kiwi Farms deck. The zero could represent both :autism: and the eternal, unchanging presence of :autism:.
220px-RWS_Tarot_00_Fool.jpg

The Fool's flowery dress (in contemporary fashion, it is literally a dress) and pose would be well suited for Chris' Christine. The dog at his feet could be Sonichu, cheerfully beckoning him further to the brink.

I'm not sure about the staff and satchel. Maybe a garbage bag full of Sonichu comics, and in the other hand a dollar bill?

The mountain cliff could be a ledge of The Hoard, with neighboring peaks of The Hoard amassed in the distance. The consequences of his destitution at his feet that will in the end end him.

I feel like this is too mean...
 
You're a good boy.
@Big Bad Fish At first I thought you had put the zero above Chris' head :lol: A fitting number. He should of course be the first (last?) card of the Kiwi Farms deck. The zero could represent both :autism: and the eternal, unchanging presence of :autism:.
220px-RWS_Tarot_00_Fool.jpg

The Fool's flowery dress (in contemporary fashion, it is literally a dress) and pose would be well suited for Chris' Christine. The dog at his feet could be Sonichu, cheerfully beckoning him further to the brink.

I'm not sure about the staff and satchel. Maybe a garbage bag full of Sonichu comics, and in the other hand a dollar bill?

The mountain cliff could be a ledge of The Hoard, with neighboring peaks of The Hoard amassed in the distance. The consequences of his destitution at his feet that will in the end end him.

I feel like this is too mean...
Is this a bit better?
tarot2.png
 
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