CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATION Mountain Dew CODE RED Alert: Muslims in Massachusets McDonald's

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Judge Holden powiedział(a):
"In this episode of Roomates, Jace accidentally releases a thousand ebola infected mice in the apartment the day Matt's boss comes for dinner. Meanwhile Tyce becomes a social justice warrior after reading tumblr while high on mice poison and starts a naked protest outside the building for transgender rights to free dewritos.
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I'm not even joking here. I would seriously watch It's Always Marines in Massachusetts. Erry damn day.

"This week, Matt finds out Tyce has been using his car trunk to brew Jenkem and demands his spare set of keys back. Meanwhile, Jace discovers the Special woman he has been seeing is actually a church plant by his TerrorMother to make sure he's taking his medicine and eating his vitamins. Hijinks ensue as Tyce and Jace agree to 'help each other out' with their mutual problems!"
 
so wait, there's just an empty cottage in MA full of a couple grand in cash and more in weed? and the owner is guaranteed not there with the only visitors being a couple of idiot kids?

uh, could someone pm me the address....for....tactical reasons....
 
93532 powiedział(a):
so wait, there's just an empty cottage in MA full of a couple grand in cash and more in weed? and the owner is guaranteed not there with the only visitors being a couple of idiot kids?

uh, could someone pm me the address....for....tactical reasons....
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yeah there might be some ebola mchickens to test for
 
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Who the fucks needs several mini fridges to store 100 Nuggers?
 
WWWWolf powiedział(a):
Reminds me of an obscure military comedy film where the army was looking for extra funding by adding slogans to all commands and selling ad space in the sides of the missiles.
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It reminds me of the movie Idiocracy where in the future the entire economy is basically fueled an energy drink. Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator.
 
hurrhurrhurr powiedział(a):
I can't wait until Eli comes back from Israel to see that his cottage is covered in crayon swastikas, bottles of Jenkem, empty adderall bottles, and mtn dew cans
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But you're forgetting the best: hundreds of half rotten McNuggets, an unstoppable mice infestation, and a ruined furniture of aforementioned mice.
 
Where is Gail? Is she turning a blind eye to the large quantity of mice and McDonald's food in her house? Unless of course Jace is doing his "scientific" experiments elsewhere.
 
Holy shit.

I'm calling it now, Weed Cells are Jace's equivalent to Nanomachines.

But seriously, Gail. This is what happens when you take away the man's escapism. He turns his life into escapism and next thing you know you have a Jenkem stained dudebro dropping off mcnuggets once every half-hour while your son keeps feeding them to mice to test if the mice die. Because if mice die when you feed them mcnuggets they are obviously infected with Afghani Ebola AKA and/or the Muslim Content strand of Ebola.
 
Ziltoid powiedział(a):
Where is Gail? Is she turning a blind eye to the large quantity of mice and McDonald's food in her house? Unless of course Jace is doing his "scientific" experiments elsewhere.
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He is, if you read his tweets he sent Colby and Tyce to do the mouse experiments in Eli's currently vacant cottage. So Eli's cottage is currently filled to the brim with rodents and minifreezers containing McNuggets. Some facts:
  • Jace is paying Tyce and Colby in weed. Which he calls "rations".
  • Mice cost under $3.00 per mouse anywhere you go.
  • They have a budget of $200 for this experiment.
  • My son owns mice, and they shit and piss about once every ten minutes. They are disgusting. There's a very good reason I rarely let him take them out of the cage.
  • Tyce does not strike me as the kind of person you would want in your home. Ever. The TYCENADO incident proves this. And then he didn't have 50 mice running around. He is probably running a fucking jenkem farm in there by now.
  • Tyce and Colby are likely not going to clean up very much. That'll be a nice surprise when he returns home from a fucking warzone and finds his floor carpeted with rodent turds, huh?
  • Mice multiply at an ALARMING rate. If you don't SPECIFICALLY ask for an all-female or all-male batch of mice from the store, they multiply way too fast to control. The problem is compounded the more mice you have. Tyce and Colby likely didn't know enough to ask for an all-male or all-female batch. And they probably bought about 40 mice. Within a month they'll have 100 of the fuckers running around and even more on the way.
  • Mice are good at finding hiding places and are skilled escape artists. If you do not contain them very closely they will burrow into the craziest places to escape you and just keep multiplying forever.
  • If I recall correctly, at least part of Jace's grow op is based in Eli's cottage - this means Tyce and Colby are being left unattended without supervision for a long period of time in a tiny cottage with nearly unlimited quantities of weed, money, munchies, and helpless rodents at their disposal. There is literally nothing more destructive or terrifying than that combination.
  • Even if Tyce and Colby attempted to clean up, if only one breeding pair escapes their watchful eye Eli is going to have a complete infestation on his hands.

    Actual footage of Eli's cottage right now:

If you want a vision of Eli's future, imagine a DC's skate shoe stomping on a mouse's head - forever.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
I really hope that the house doesn't lose power while they are storing all those McChickens there, otherwise this whole thing might turn into an actual bio-hazard with you know, rotting meat and mice everywhere.
 
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