💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • April-May 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • June-July 2024

    Głosy: 17 1,1%
  • August-September 2024

    Głosy: 34 2,1%
  • October-November 2024

    Głosy: 37 2,3%
  • December 2024

    Głosy: 44 2,8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Głosy: 256 16,1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Głosy: 261 16,4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Głosy: 930 58,5%

  • Łączna liczba głosujących
    1 591
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VeR9VNg8zYo
"I really like the raw, organic honey. Otherwise it's just corn syrup."
No. That is not how it works.
Two sticks of butter in the fucking fried rice, what the. Bitch mixed the fried rice seasoning with two cups of water and poured it over the rice. You don't fry rice by pouring water on it!!
Jack says the only way he'll eat rice is if you fry it. Of course.
This recipe is a bunch of random ass flavors thrown together. She just grabbed a bunch of sauces from the "Oriental" aisle of Target.
Some comments as I watch this:

1. "I don't like rice". Seriously? It's an amazing meat filler and is very much like tofu in terms of what it absorbs in flavor. I use it very often in my dishes for a reason.
2. The intro is still revealing to the world Jack is retarded and likes dicks because of the lazy-eyed go animate tier character and the fact it mutters 'fegget' in that weird scratchy way.
3. Peanutbutter, butter, fucking soy sauce, szechuan peppers and chili oil? This sounds like a massacre of flavors already. Also honey for sweetness and claiming she'd use corn syrup otherwise... the fuck?
4. Fried rice seasoning mix.... you don't need that if you're using all that shit already. Rice fucking takes the flavor of what you put in it.
5a. Starting the rice first. No... that takes like ten minutes at most. Also why use fried rice seasoning if you're going to basically just boil/steam it?
5b. She's letting it simmer for 15 minutes. Hope you like shitty soggy rice. At least she only used a knob of butter rather than the whole fucking stick.
6. Uses fucking pam rather than another knob of butter or even the chili oil. Why are these morons too lazy to just melt some butter or some shit?
7. Doesn't season the chicken first. Doing that allows the flavor to lock into the rest of the meat last I checked, and means you don't dump it all over.
8. Szechuan peppers aren't spicy; they're a number you use to amplify the other flavors.
9. She's really shoving a lot of spicy and bitter shit all over that chicken; it's going to swimming in fluid that just plain don't get absorbed. GG churchgoer.
10. Uses honey as a sweetener. Too dumb to use sweet and sour for what is very much a chinese inspired dish that would better compliment the sauces she guzzled all over that bird.
11. Uses peanut butter to get the taste, but could've used peanut oil for the same shit. I cannot even right now this sounds like a flavor gang war even though the final product actually looks saveable due to her not being Jack.
12. Seasons rice even though holocaust chicken would give you all the flavor you need when you apply the hell-fluid it's swimming in.
13. SHE USES TWO WHOLE STICKS OF BUTTER AAAAAAAA-
14. She needs to over season the chicken some more since the idiots have broken palates that need more szechuan sauce.
15. She then fries rice wrong by not putting the TWO STICKS in first and then is mixing the seasonings in as the rice transforms into living embodiments of gluttony and heart failure.
16. Cannot be arsed to stir rice evenly so comes up with convoluted approach that allows her to pour and forget.
17. ON TOP OF BUTTER MORE SOY SAUCE BECAUSE NOT ENOUGH FUCKING FLAVOR
18. MORE FATTY FAT FOOD SOME GREASY FRIED EGGS ON BUTTER RICE ON PEANUT BUTTER CHICKEN REEEE---

*One session in a hugbox later*

19. Jack confesses that eating butter with rice is the only way he'd even consider eating it. No wonder he's had at least one fucking heart attack and stroke.
20. Jack loves it because it's nothing but soy sauce, butter, and spicy peppers. Claims that the lumps of butter in this dish is chicken that's melting in his mouth.
21. Jack is a cunt and forces his wife to eat spicy shit that she clearly does not care for while claiming she has bugged palate mechanics because he just likes grease and spice. That he may be trying to two time her with church friend comes to mind given how much of a dick he is.

It's been a while since Jack made a video this bad.
 

I genuinely don't know what the sauna advert here is about. Is it satire? Is he just mental? Answers on a postcard please.

Doing that allows the flavor to lock into the rest of the meat last I checked
That's not true (same as searing meat doesn't lock in the juices). You should season and sear because it tastes good but you're not putting flavour or juices in prison

edit: worse imo is that she crowds the pan and basically boils the chicken
 
Ostatnio edytowane przez moderatora:
That's not true (same as searing meat doesn't lock in the juices). You should season and sear because it tastes good but you're not putting flavour or juices in prison

edit: worse imo is that she crowds the pan and basically boils the chicken
I could've sworn that letting the season stay on the bird or any food pre cooking it allows it to permeate throughout the whole dish more given that's also how chili works. Regardless this was a terrible dish and should only be used to assassinate people with allergies or diabetes.
 
I could've sworn that letting the season stay on the bird or any food pre cooking it allows it to permeate throughout the whole dish more given that's also how chili works. Regardless this was a terrible dish and should only be used to assassinate people with allergies or diabetes.
Thinking about it, that's true i believe for something like a marinade that you'll leave for a good while, but I don't think seasoning two minutes beforehand will make much difference. Meat is pretty dense and a lot has to happen for eg salt to get all the way into the middle of the meat, and that takes a fair bit of time. However, putting salt in/on anything (within reason) will make it taste better, even if it's done at the dinner table. In a similar vein, Jack often says you should leave a steak or something out of the fridge for fifteen minutes to get to room temperature. In reality, it takes way more time than that, as can be verified with any thermometer. However, taking it out and leaving it on a board may help the surface dry which will be good for the maillard reaction and subsequently the flavour
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UXs3eq68ZjE
I genuinely don't know what the sauna advert here is about. Is it satire? Is he just mental? Answers on a postcard please.

The short answer:

Jack doesn't know how humour works.

The long answer:

Jack's channel has gotten to a point where he thinks he can shill stuff because he has pull in his little corner of Tennessee. That or he likes to flex what he has but under the guise of "promotion" because flexing isn't christian.
 
she's stewing not frying...

when reading the comments i thought, 'huh, nothing wrong with adding water since a lot of people do that given fried rice is normally leftover rice that is a few days old'.
but you're only meant to put like a teaspoon in, and not to fresh rice. jesus christ.

they cooked a goddamn meal from scratch rather than just using leftovers, which is the purpose of fried rice.

one thing though - her comment about honey wasn't too bad but still misinformed.
because the usa is an exceptional country, about 80% of honey does not contain pollen. who really knows what the fuck you are getting (some sugarly substance though). but being 'organic' does not make it any less susceptible. honey sold in america is basically the american cheese (mil.k powder, not tard cum powder) of the honey world.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
i also sense some tension between jack's lady friend from church and tammy

i remember a few years ago jack would regularly film jack on the go episodes with random female guests he probably knew through church but that stopped quick, likely tammy's doing after suspecting jack was doing more than just reviewing restaurants with his lady friends
 
i also sense some tension between jack's lady friend from church and tammy

i remember a few years ago jack would regularly film jack on the go episodes with random female guests he probably knew through church but that stopped quick, likely tammy's doing after suspecting jack was doing more than just reviewing restaurants with his lady friends
:optimistic::optimistic::optimistic::optimistic: that anyone else would even bother to try and find his dick
 
The short answer:

Jack doesn't know how humour works.

The long answer:

Jack's channel has gotten to a point where he thinks he can shill stuff because he has pull in his little corner of Tennessee. That or he likes to flex what he has but under the guise of "promotion" because flexing isn't christian.

This video is hella old, like eight years old, back when he lived in California. It was in the days when you would just take any sponsor that came knocking at your door.
 
i also sense some tension between jack's lady friend from church and tammy

i remember a few years ago jack would regularly film jack on the go episodes with random female guests he probably knew through church but that stopped quick, likely tammy's doing after suspecting jack was doing more than just reviewing restaurants with his lady friends
Hahaha


Jack ain't straight.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VeR9VNg8zYo
"I really like the raw, organic honey. Otherwise it's just corn syrup."
No. That is not how it works.
Two sticks of butter in the fucking fried rice, what the. Bitch mixed the fried rice seasoning with two cups of water and poured it over the rice. You don't fry rice by pouring water on it!!
Jack says the only way he'll eat rice is if you fry it. Of course.
This recipe is a bunch of random ass flavors thrown together. She just grabbed a bunch of sauces from the "Oriental" aisle of Target.
Is this some kind of drunken college dinner experiment?

I'm sure it tastes great. It's full of sugar, salt, and butter.

Let me make some modifications while still retaining it's original ghetto spirit of using 10 different pre-made sauces:

1. Use the chunky PB! Added texture would work nice in this shitty dish.
2. Use thighs instead of breasts. They're more flavourful and don't dry out like breast meat.
3. Brown the chicken cubes first. She basically steamed/boiled that meat.

That's it. Enjoy your sugar n salt chicken!
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VeR9VNg8zYo
"I really like the raw, organic honey. Otherwise it's just corn syrup."
No. That is not how it works.
Two sticks of butter in the fucking fried rice, what the. Bitch mixed the fried rice seasoning with two cups of water and poured it over the rice. You don't fry rice by pouring water on it!!
Jack says the only way he'll eat rice is if you fry it. Of course.
This recipe is a bunch of random ass flavors thrown together. She just grabbed a bunch of sauces from the "Oriental" aisle of Target.

It would just be cheaper to buy a "peanut sauce" from the internet or at any place that sells Asian food. This "lazy-man/common-man" cooking schtick doesn't even apply because the lady literally bought 5 sauce jars, and raw organic honey. This dish would literally cost ATLEAST $20 to make for the average American.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VeR9VNg8zYo
"I really like the raw, organic honey. Otherwise it's just corn syrup."
No. That is not how it works.
Two sticks of butter in the fucking fried rice, what the. Bitch mixed the fried rice seasoning with two cups of water and poured it over the rice. You don't fry rice by pouring water on it!!
Jack says the only way he'll eat rice is if you fry it. Of course.
This recipe is a bunch of random ass flavors thrown together. She just grabbed a bunch of sauces from the "Oriental" aisle of Target.
tbf peanut butter and spicy oriental sauce is the hick white culturally unaware version of some kind of thai peanut sauce.

The short answer:

Jack doesn't know how humour works.

The long answer:

Jack's channel has gotten to a point where he thinks he can shill stuff because he has pull in his little corner of Tennessee. That or he likes to flex what he has but under the guise of "promotion" because flexing isn't christian.
The sauna adverts are only included in his very early videos (check the dates). They are true adverts. Jack has never had a real job beyond "radio and weddings DJ", so he thought that shilling saunas on a youtube cooking channel is "diversifying".

He claims his very early videos were just a way for him to shill his shitty sauces, hence the sauce adverts. He probably got a big head after a while and thought to shill saunas instead. These days he just shills under the guise of food or product reviews.

The only reviews that are genuine are his fast food ones, since he truly displays his emotional investment in these fast food chains with every video he makes.
 
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