Jace Connors, ParkourDude91 General

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This is seriously one of the dumbest fucking things he's ever said and that's saying a lot. I can understand why people think he's a troll at first glance.

Thanks for that DeagleDad. Now I have a brain hemorrhage. Asshole.
 
What would happen if Jace joined up with the Army. Actually, could he join the Army?
No, because of his asthma and lazy eye. There are other (more obvious) reasons but both of these are instant disqualifiers before you even get to basic and there's no way he would be able to hide them. He literally has 0 chance whatsoever of ever being in any military force ever.
 
Here are the Standards of Medical Fitness for joining the US Army. Other branches have similar requirements. The document makes for a fun drinking game. Just take a shot every time you see something that would instantly disqualify Jace.

My personal favorites:
The Department of the Army powiedział(a):
Asthma (493), including reactive airway disease, exercise-induced bronchospasm or asthmatic bronchitis, reliably diagnosed and symptomatic after the 13th birthday, does not meet the standard. Reliable diagnostic criteria may include any of the following elements: substantiated history of cough, wheeze, chest tightness, and/or dyspnea that persists or recurs over a prolonged period of time, generally more than 12 months.

The Department of the Army powiedział(a):
Current or history of disorders with psychotic features such as schizophrenia (295), paranoid disorder (297), and other unspecified psychosis (298) does not meet the standard.

The Department of the Army powiedział(a):
Current or history of conduct (312), or behavior (313) disorders does not meet the standard. Recurrent encounters with law enforcement agencies, antisocial attitudes or behaviors are tangible evidence of impaired capacity to adapt to military service and as such do not meet the standard

The Department of the Army powiedział(a):
Current or history of personality disorder (301) does not meet the standard. History (demonstrated by repeated inability to maintain reasonable adjustment in school, with employers or fellow workers, or other social groups), interview, or psychological testing revealing that the degree of immaturity, instability, personality inadequacy, impulsiveness, or dependency will likely interfere with adjustment in the Armed Forces does not meet the standard.

The Department of the Army powiedział(a):
Current or history of alcohol dependence (303), drug dependence (304), alcohol abuse (305), or other drug abuse (305.2 thru 305.9) does not meet the standard.
 
OMG you guys, jace could never be a real marine!! how dare he say he is a marine!!!
 
There are waivers for nearly every one of the military's requirements, so that if they really want you, they can get you.

That presumes that you're a desirable recruit in the first place, however. *yawn*
 
I actually don't know if they care about a lazy eye for all jobs as long as your acuity is good enough. I'm sure you couldn't be a helicopter pilot but you could probably do a lot of non combat arms stuff and maybe even be infantry.
 
Would it be ethically wrong to burn down Jace's house? I mean, he is scamming the American people and is openly bragging about it. That has to be a crime.

Ehh, no need to A-log here. Jace is just one of the countless Muhreen wannabes out there.

And besides, something tells me that Jace owns a Keurig.
 
I have an idea for a Jace thread called "Deagle Nation 1st Idaho Chapter". Basically, it's a thread where we role play as a chapter of Jace's "fans", a bunch of chairborn division right wing militia types.
"I, Randy Fariemount, swear in this chapter of the Deagle Nation. Our mission is to be ever prepared for the coming Muslim apocalypse. When Islam paratroopers fill the skies, we shall be there, Desert Eagles in hand, to defend against the liberal and Muslim horde, as foreseen by our Grand Leader, Jace. Oh, and this here is a straight organization. Just cause we like to wrestle nekked don't make us queer! It makes us EXTRA MANLY!"
 
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