Ask men why they do things the way they do and maybe you'll get an honest answer

[Waffle Iron]

Pretty sure this happens in the US too unfortunately.

Pretty sure that everywhere the kid if legally yours if you put your name under the birth certificate. The state has little incentive to let men cut off a child if he's not biologically theirs (without knowing at the time of recognizing the child). In fact, in France they're so cucked that you can't take a paternity test without a court's approval. Doing it privately is illegal. Officially it's for "the harmony of the family" or some shit like that.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Hands that cheated on his wife after 10 years of marriage typed this. "Just being a different person after 10 years" and abandoning your family to go live with your mom is not healthy or normal. It's a choice. It's failing at your marriage.

What type of retarded projection is this? I've never cheated on any one. I have had long term relationships put both of us on different paths like the moving example. If you marry someone who likes living in urban centers, but you like living in rural places that's a conflict you can't resolve. Neither are wrong, but one of you is going to end up very unhappy after a year or two when you realize their life style doesn't fit yours. And this isn't something you will discover straight away, it takes time to build up.

Lol no. Common law marriage mostly existed mostly on frontiers for couples that wanted to get married but didn't have ready access to a priest or judge. Cohabiting was very taboo for a unmarried couple (sometimes illegal under fornication laws) until about the last century.

I'm not a fat fuck American. Your retarded nigger worshiping does not apply to me. You niggers think you invented everything when it originates in Ancient Greece and Rome. With a history of the UK having it before your country even existed.

 

[The Ugly One]

What type of retarded projection is this? I've never cheated on any one. I have had long term relationships put both of us on different paths like the moving example.

Oh, I thought when you were talking about how easy it was to abandon your children, you were talking from experience, not speculating about something you have no direct knowledge of, when in actuality, you've just never committed, and every relationship you've ever had has ended failure.

If you marry someone who likes living in urban centers, but you like living in rural places that's a conflict you can't resolve.

I'll bet just about anyone reading this thread who's been married more than a couple years laughed out loud when you typed this. Wanting to live in different places is one of the most basic, early conflicts most married people have to resolve. Committing yourself to resolving conflicts instead of walking away is what marriage is. The fact you've never done this doesn't prove it can't be done; it simply proves that you, personally, don't have what it takes. The list of unresolvable conflicts is short:

1. Sexual infidelity
2. Physical abuse
3. Drinking/gambling
4. Torturing the kids

That's really it. Anything else, pretty much, you can get over. If you didn't get over it, it's not because it's intrinsically unresolvable, it's because at least one person dug their heels in and decided they'd rather blow up the family than have less than 100% of their way.

Neither are wrong, but one of you is going to end up very unhappy after a year or two when you realize their life style doesn't fit yours. And this isn't something you will discover straight away, it takes time to build up.

Wrong. Marriage is the lifestyle. If you have a "lifestyle" that takes priority over your family, that's you setting yourself up for failure. It's not a thing that just naturally happens on its own.

 

[Vlad the Implier]

I'm not a fat fuck American.

What are you then?

You niggers think you invented everything

We were talking about divorce/common law marriages in North America. You replied to my post about a Canadian law and I'm not even Canadian.

With a history of the UK having it before your country even existed.

You mean to tell me that the Anglo common law system (you know, the legal system the United States inherited by having been a British colony) addressed this concept at some point? Intredasting!

>"This member limits who may view their full profile."
>Pink triangle

Every single time.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

That's really it. Anything else, pretty much, you can get over. If you didn't get over it, it's not because it's intrinsically unresolvable, it's because at least one person dug their heels in and decided they'd rather blow up the family than have less than 100% of their way.

You making constant strawmen is getting tedious.

There is no way to resolve someone who feels tortured by living in a city with someone who feels tortured by living in a rural area. It's a fundamental clash you cannot resolve. One of you have to pick to be miserable to be with the other one. If you don't have kids or kids on the way yet, deciding to call it quits at that point is the only way to resolve it.

I see plenty of city people move to rural areas and within a year they move back to the city. It's a constant churn you see. Expensive houses on the market 6 months after people move in. They cannot live outside of a city and they return as fast as they can. If you get 2 people on opposite ends of this, it doesn't have a resolution except one of you is unhappy and never feels like they have a home.

 

[The Ugly One]

You making constant strawmen is getting tedious.

I've been with the same person for over 20 years.

You haven't.

I have successfully resolved conflicts you describe as unresolvable. This isn't a strawman; it's just reality.

I see plenty of city people move to rural areas and within a year they move back to the city. It's a constant churn you see. Expensive houses on the market 6 months after people move in. They cannot live outside of a city and they return as fast as they can. If you get 2 people on opposite ends of this, it doesn't have a resolution except one of you is unhappy and never feels like they have a home.

Americans have literally lived in dirt houses on wind-swept plains and found ways to make do. If you can't emotionally function because your electrified, air-conditioned dwelling with running water and endless food within 15 minutes is in a different landscape than you prefer, you're a spoiled bitch whose net contribution to humanity is negative.

 

[Otterly]

That's really it. Anything else, pretty much, you can get over. If you didn't get over it, it's not because it's intrinsically unresolvable, it's because at least one person dug their heels in and decided they'd rather blow up the family than have less than 100% of their way.

I think you can get over stuff, but you both have to try. I also feel the following very strongly. What kills love is rarely one large unresolved ‘thing’ but years and years of small resentments. I think one large bad thing is actually easier to work through and forgive.
Perhaps both parties are at fault for when small things build, but it’s hard to see every obstacle you’ll face at the start. I know a lot of women who are staring down middle age with husbands who haven’t really altered how they operate at all despite children, leaving the wife doing a full time job and all the housework, despite talking about it, agreeing to spilt things more fairly, all that. You do that for ten years and the love is gone.
Lots of things happen over decades and small resentments build. I don’t think anyone goes into marriage wanting anything other than it to last, but sometimes people end up very unhappy, and trapped due to various things.
The benefit of hindsight is significant. I certainly would live my life very differently if I was zapped back to being 18.
I think people give up too easily some times but I also think there’s a point where people should just get divorced. And sometimes, people do just stop loving each other.

 

[Flipendo]

These people remove the meaning behind items and rituals then wonder why they're so depressed all the time.

Precisely. The obvious follow-up question, then, is "why DON'T you want to marry if it's just an irrelevant piece of paper?" The response is likely something along the lines of "I don't want to lose my stuff in the divorce proceedings" meaning that you either don't believe the relationship will last, don't trust your partner not to fuck you over on purpose, or both, which is the actual issue (and a good reason not to marry, but quit the bullshit).

 

[74164978231]

While the overall dating scene is bad right now it's not nearly as bad as the Internet makes it out to be. In my experience Facebook Dating is the "best" of the dating apps for finding a relationship. Tinder is going to be the best for hookups, and Bumble is a mix.

Facebook dating is the best, which is kind of horrifying.

Dating is absolute trash now though and only getting worse though. One thing ive come to realize is just the insane amount of attention even unattractive women get. 50-100 pounds overweight, shitty personality and a single mom? Still have dudes propositioning them left and right. Seemingly decent dude genuinely tries to date them? "Yeah I just wasnt feeling it".

Then you get to social media where these same women have 200-300 sometimes 500+ followers on instagram. How do you compete with that as a singular man? The attention these guys are very obviously throwing at average at best women? I personally think social media is cancer for the human condition.

 

[Squanto Airi]

Then you get to social media where these same women have 200-300 sometimes 500+ followers on instagram.

The worst part is 90-95% of those followers are more than likely bots or third worlders, so the inflated sense of self-worth and ego are all fake and gay.

 

[Spud]

over 20 years.

A time when you could admit you wanted that woman to be in your life. Today, one awkward date where you fumble saying the same thing. She goes off, and makes an over exaggerated tiktok blasting you for wanting commitment that gets a million views. Too many people are willing to post every excruciating detail of their relationship for clout on the Internet. All you get in return is scolding for not picking the Right Woman or not doing enough chores around the house. I've just started using them for their bodies, far more honest tbh. Better a whore who desires you than a prude who despises you.

 

[Roughly35RatsInAnEVASuit]

A time when you could admit you wanted that woman to be in your life. Today, one awkward date where you fumble saying the same thing. She goes off, and makes an over exaggerated tiktok blasting you for wanting commitment that gets a million views. Too many people are willing to post every excruciating detail of their relationship for clout on the Internet. All you get in return is scolding for not picking the Right Woman or not doing enough chores around the house. I've just started using them for their bodies, far more honest tbh. Better a whore who desires you than a prude who despises you.

That just sounds like you gave up. Modern dating requires modern strategies! Have you tried smoking meth? Filming yourself dancing at servo in a motorcycle helmet and pink pyjamas and posting it on tiktok? Getting a swastika tattooed on your forehead?
I should note that all of these ideas are still better than any dating advice I've been given in the last few years.
No, I will not go to dance class, No I will not go to book fairs and NO I will NOT stop playing Train simulator 2026 in order to go out because it's 50 fucking bigguns for a feed. Also I'm pretty sure you either had a bad experience and are now applying it to all women or are overthinking this. QED.

 

[The Ugly One]

What kills love is rarely one large unresolved ‘thing’ but years and years of small resentments.

Very true. From the male side, the small resentments usually build up due to nagging and sexual denial. Unfortunately, most women have had it drilled into their heads that if you are making any effort to keep sex regular, you're being exploited and mistreated. The man should do what the woman wants because duh, that's just what a good partner does, and the woman should not do anything the man wants because duh, a good partner wouldn't ask anything of you. What women want is just objectively correct, while what men want is disgusting. Therefore the solution is for the man to align with the woman.

e.g.

I know a lot of women who are staring down middle age with husbands who haven’t really altered how they operate at all despite children, leaving the wife doing a full time job and all the housework

Is this "all the housework that is required to stop us from dying of black mold and vermin-borne plague," or is it "all the housework so that the state of the domicile pleases the woman?"

Because IME it's always the latter. However, the gap is that a woman's desire to see dust-free shelves doesn't hit the same reward center that a man's desire to watch a Peter O'Toole movie hits. So the woman thinks of housework as being an objective need, like the need to consume enough calories in a day to not die. The man does not. Prior to the woman entering his life, the man lived in a significantly less-houseworked state, and if she walks out? All that housework that the woman insisted NEEDS to be done...won't done. Because it's not an objective human need, it's a woman's psychological need. The exact amount of housework that needs to be done will get done, as evidenced by how few divorced men die of an insufficiently clean house.

The man then perceives this situation as, "You do what I want, and return you get none of what you want--I will merely make less of an effort to induce misery in you." If I mop the kitchen floor more often, I'm not getting a handjob. I'm getting nagged less. If I perfectly please the woman in every way, this doesn't result in a regularly scheduled, private, 1 on 1 Saturday Night Lingerie Show. It means I get to the zero state. The woman is now happy, and I am simply not-nagged.

And I don't think this is quite what you had in mind, but indeed, the housework issue does in fact result in quiet resentments building up over years. He perhaps makes an effort to please the woman now and then, but these efforts never end with anybody naked, so he loses interest, and there is never lasting change. The woman can't figure out what is going on, is certain that any solution that involves her naked is yucky, and concludes that she isn't working hard enough at making the man miserable.

 

[Otterly]

Is this "all the housework that is required to stop us from dying of black mold and vermin-borne plague," or is it "all the housework so that the state of the domicile pleases the woman?"

No, it’s the ‘the children’s gym kits need a wash, the cat puked on the rug, eldest has grown out of his shoes and needs new ones,’ the basic stuff. Not the silly stuff like wanting a show home or ironing socks or demanding everything be perfect. The basics for hygiene and function. You can’t send kids to school in dirty clothes, they will get teased. Everyone cleanish, fed and safe is the standard.

The woman can't figure out what is going on, is certain that any solution that involves her naked is yucky,

Plenty of women quite enjoy the solutions that end with them naked. Of course ending up naked has to be enjoyable, if it’s not, then it’s another chore. If someone doesn’t like sex (outside of medical conditions illness and childbirth etc) that means sex isn’t enjoyable for them, and that needs to be addressed too.

 

[74164978231]

The worst part is 90-95% of those followers are more than likely bots or third worlders, so the inflated sense of self-worth and ego are all fake and gay.

Some of them I've seen clearly third world pajeet types simping like retards but a lot of it is seemingly genuine real accounts.

And this is something I've thought about for some time now. 30 years ago say you lived with a woman, you each shared a single phone. Someone calls that phone you would naturally pick it up. Someone knocked on your door you answered it.

Now? Everyone has their own private little world you aren't allowed to see in to they can use to have connections with people you don't even know exist. Dude can be sending your woman a message at 1am as she's sitting next to you watching a movie and you're known the wiser. 30 years ago phone rings at 1am that's a major wtf who is calling at this time.

I don't like this paradigm. It makes the idea of dating in the current era unappealing to be honest.

 

[The Ugly One]

No, it’s the ‘the children’s gym kits need a wash, the cat puked on the rug, eldest has grown out of his shoes and needs new ones,’ the basic stuff. Not the silly stuff like wanting a show home or ironing socks or demanding everything be perfect. The basics for hygiene and function. You can’t send kids to school in dirty clothes, they will get teased. Everyone cleanish, fed and safe is the standard.

I have never, in my life, met a man who simply let pet vomit rot on the carpet nor fed his kids. If you're at that level of filth, that's legitimate mental illness. Far more typical is the following. Let's say show-home cleanliness is 10. Life-threatening pigsty is 0. Your typical man is comfortable living at a 4. Your typical woman wants to live at a 7. This requires compromise on both sides.

Meanwhile, on the sexual front, after those initial inordinately horny young years, your average woman really only gets sexually needy once a month, right around ovulation. Your average man? 2-3 days. The problem is our current zeitgeist says the man just has to suck it up and deal with it. Compromise is unacceptable, because a woman should never have to do anything she doesn't really really really want to do, especially not for something as worthless and stupid as a marriage. (For some reason, it's acceptable to pretend masturbate to orgasm on camera so a man you don't know will pay your rent, this is empowerment.)

If someone doesn’t like sex (outside of medical conditions illness and childbirth etc) that means sex isn’t enjoyable for them, and

...i.e. the man just needs to do better. If a woman keeps her schedule busy 27 out of 28 days of her cycle, it's the man's fault for not doing enough to blow her mind on the one day she gives him to inspire her to change her habits, and she is under no obligation whatsoever to rearrange her day to make space. That would be work and compromise, and if you have to work or compromise with your husband, that's his problem to solve, not yours.

 

[San Marino]

I have never, in my life, met a man who simply let pet vomit rot on the carpet nor fed his kids. If you're at that level of filth, that's legitimate mental illness.

I mean to be fair, if you had a conversation with a guy like that at a bus stop you probably wouldn’t even know it.

 

[The Ugly One]

I mean to be fair, if you had a conversation with a guy like that at a bus stop you probably wouldn’t even know it.

around here, if a guy is at a bus stop, he reeks of piss and is going to stab you

 

[Rango Dango]

i reached the part of the thread when it says that drinking alcohol reduces your brain matter


im slavic

 

[Squanto Airi]

im slavic

My condolences