MarineN*423543
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 6 Kwi 2017
the power of :autism: my friend
💤 Inactive Andrew Dobson / Tom Preston / CattyN - STOP DOING SEXIST CRAP
- Twórca wątku José Mourinho
- Data rozpoczęcia
-
🔎 Please read my article, How to Dox Anyone: A Liz Fong-Jones Story. (Xitter), (Substack).
-
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
- Dołączono
- 3 Gru 2013
I'm betting I know who at least three of them are, since they're the only ones I see talk to Dobson. He also retweets them often.
MarineN*423543
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 6 Kwi 2017
yep, more autistic losers
- Dołączono
- 6 Wrz 2013
... Except for one episode of Justice League where they adapted For the Man Who Has Everything, because they asked him and said they wouldn't make the episode if he said no. And he did like Harry Partridge's Saturday Morning Watchmen cartoon...
How's it racist, Italians are white?
Because Mario's a cartoon human. Shouldn't get too friendly with toons. Before you know it they'll be having sex with us noids in order to become human, and you know what happens then.
- Dołączono
- 3 Gru 2013
Is that a fucking Cool World reference?
- Dołączono
- 10 Mar 2013
First he had two scoops of ice cream and now he's driving a fire engine! When will Drumf's hubris end!!!
And one or two just happen to be teenage lesbians.
- Dołączono
- 8 Lip 2015
Not really.
Asspats mean nothing, they are only given by these people to make themselves feel better, there is no altruism behind it. Giving asspats gives them the illusion that they are 'more moral' beings then others and better than the people they dislike. Ultimately it is just a narcissistic circle-jerk and Dobson begging for asspats from these people is pretty much him begging to be used as jerk-off material.
- Dołączono
- 28 Gru 2016
Thanks to whoever shared the Angelfish dump, but I don't recall Dobson ever dabbling in video game production.
I thought it was an ad for GameMaker at first but no, Dobson has created several "games" and "tutorials".
I can't check these right now but if anyone wants to take a look that would be great.
http://www.angelfire.com/comics/dobson/GameMaker.html
I thought it was an ad for GameMaker at first but no, Dobson has created several "games" and "tutorials".
I can't check these right now but if anyone wants to take a look that would be great.
http://www.angelfire.com/comics/dobson/GameMaker.html
MarineN*423543
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 6 Kwi 2017
Oh crap the Trace game IS about tracing flopson lame rip off characters, game intended for ppl with the same mental age as him i suposse (8)
- Dołączono
- 10 Lip 2015
I'm bored, I'll bite.
A common theme among his games are being so old that they're at the point where I couldn't get them to easily operate. Janus is listed as "Magic Orbs Verson23.exe". Never change, Dobbo.
Doesn't this scream "Completely legit and totally not goat porn?"
The Alex ze Pirate game's a no go on my end, So the first game of his I wound up playing was The Adventures of Janus.
Dobson's only a little influenced by anime & manga.
Before you ask, yes, this incredibly simplistic platformer has a Practice mode. But because Dobson can't understand how games and the English language work, it's really a tutorial inexplicably listed as Practice. It also takes the inherently insulting nature of a game tutorial to another level by stopping you to explain things that should go without saying like "Push left & right to move", "Press Space to throw apples", "Press up to jump", "Don't take an ax to the water heater", "Don't masturbate in public" and "Don't eat the neighbor's cats in an attempt to get her to move out of sheer grief."
As for the High Scores...
I might be the only person who'll ever play this fucking thing.
Level 1 starts out in the woods, and the flaws hit you like a runaway cement truck. The controls feel stiff, which is a big problem considering it's a 2D Platformer, the music is nothing but a six second long loop that doesn't fit at all, and Dobson's skill at game design is on par with his art skills. Mushrooms, which give health, blend into the scenery, to the point where it caught me off-guard that they were even collectible to begin with. As for the level itself, towards the end, Dobson throws so much crap at you that it's legitimately the hardest stage in the game. Also not helping are that apples are thrown in an arc, making enemies that much harder to hit. Also, you start out with one life and no continues, and 1-ups are few and far between.
And here, my troubles begin...
Level 2 is where more flaws shine through. Instead of a slowly progressing difficulty as the game goes on, levels fluctuate between 30 seconds long and two minutes with no rhyme or reason and only some of the levels have backing music attached to them. There's also no sense of connective tissue between levels. There's no story beyond "Move to the right", and in one level you'll be in a swamp, while in another, you'll be in space.
Seriously, the true villain of this game is Dobson's laziness.
Level 3 is a swamp and the backing music is back, only this time, it's a fifteen-second long loop of what could only be described as the intro to an 80s power ballad. But instead of Richard Marx, it's an incel who's slowly dying alone trying to realize his dream of being a real artist before drowning his sorrows in Big Macs.
Then you fight the Loch Ness Monster's r-tarded brother and all you have to really do is stand still, throw apples and occasionally move to the left to get more apples. Now it starts to feel like (man)baby's first platformer, especially given that Dobson hates tension, getting better or any sense of a challenge.
Look at this fucking thing.
Next up is the desert, where you're again platforming to silence outside of the annoying jump noise. Maybe it's intentional, and I'm supposed to feel as thirsty and hopeless as Dobson is. It's still me putting more thought into his art than he is. My strategy here, and with every following level is "Stay near the top of the screen and avoid the bullshit below."
In the deserts of Sudan/And the gardens of Japan...
After that is going inside the pyramid. There was no indication whatsoever of a pyramid being anywhere in the last stage. Is Dobson saying that all deserts have pyramids in them? How culturally sensitive. It's also the point where Dobson gives up, and the backgrounds become nothing but indistinct gradients. Think of it as the prototype for latter-day SYAC.
Can't wait for him to experience King Tut's Curse in the DLC!
And here's Dobson being racist with the enemy designs. Here's an experiment, show this to the Dobson of today, call out the racist character design and see if he responds with 1.) Blindly accepting a young lesbian's opinion without realizing it's his game. or 2.) Trying to delete the game from existence, blocking you and getting really salty & defensive whenever someone brings it up. (Don't actually do either.)
Oooga Booga!
The next level is up in the clouds. I timed this stage. It took me 35 seconds to beat this. Watch out violent vidya, Dobson's the second coming of Miyamoto.
Flip a do.
The next level is outer space, complete with copypasted stars, hitting your head on the invisible walls and the crap on the upper-left part of the screen getting in the way. Just like actual outer space!
GREATLEVELDESIGNMATE
The last level I got to is Bumblebee Land before I fucked up and lost my last life. The bees made weird meowing noises. Y'know, as bees do.
That bee's expression mirrored mine.
It's at this point that I left to go get lunch. When I came back, the game wouldn't work.
Try and beat THAT high score, Kiwis!
Life is grand.
Doesn't this scream "Completely legit and totally not goat porn?"
The Alex ze Pirate game's a no go on my end, So the first game of his I wound up playing was The Adventures of Janus.
Dobson's only a little influenced by anime & manga.
Before you ask, yes, this incredibly simplistic platformer has a Practice mode. But because Dobson can't understand how games and the English language work, it's really a tutorial inexplicably listed as Practice. It also takes the inherently insulting nature of a game tutorial to another level by stopping you to explain things that should go without saying like "Push left & right to move", "Press Space to throw apples", "Press up to jump", "Don't take an ax to the water heater", "Don't masturbate in public" and "Don't eat the neighbor's cats in an attempt to get her to move out of sheer grief."
As for the High Scores...
I might be the only person who'll ever play this fucking thing.
Level 1 starts out in the woods, and the flaws hit you like a runaway cement truck. The controls feel stiff, which is a big problem considering it's a 2D Platformer, the music is nothing but a six second long loop that doesn't fit at all, and Dobson's skill at game design is on par with his art skills. Mushrooms, which give health, blend into the scenery, to the point where it caught me off-guard that they were even collectible to begin with. As for the level itself, towards the end, Dobson throws so much crap at you that it's legitimately the hardest stage in the game. Also not helping are that apples are thrown in an arc, making enemies that much harder to hit. Also, you start out with one life and no continues, and 1-ups are few and far between.
And here, my troubles begin...
Level 2 is where more flaws shine through. Instead of a slowly progressing difficulty as the game goes on, levels fluctuate between 30 seconds long and two minutes with no rhyme or reason and only some of the levels have backing music attached to them. There's also no sense of connective tissue between levels. There's no story beyond "Move to the right", and in one level you'll be in a swamp, while in another, you'll be in space.
Seriously, the true villain of this game is Dobson's laziness.
Level 3 is a swamp and the backing music is back, only this time, it's a fifteen-second long loop of what could only be described as the intro to an 80s power ballad. But instead of Richard Marx, it's an incel who's slowly dying alone trying to realize his dream of being a real artist before drowning his sorrows in Big Macs.
Then you fight the Loch Ness Monster's r-tarded brother and all you have to really do is stand still, throw apples and occasionally move to the left to get more apples. Now it starts to feel like (man)baby's first platformer, especially given that Dobson hates tension, getting better or any sense of a challenge.
Look at this fucking thing.
Next up is the desert, where you're again platforming to silence outside of the annoying jump noise. Maybe it's intentional, and I'm supposed to feel as thirsty and hopeless as Dobson is. It's still me putting more thought into his art than he is. My strategy here, and with every following level is "Stay near the top of the screen and avoid the bullshit below."
In the deserts of Sudan/And the gardens of Japan...
After that is going inside the pyramid. There was no indication whatsoever of a pyramid being anywhere in the last stage. Is Dobson saying that all deserts have pyramids in them? How culturally sensitive. It's also the point where Dobson gives up, and the backgrounds become nothing but indistinct gradients. Think of it as the prototype for latter-day SYAC.
Can't wait for him to experience King Tut's Curse in the DLC!
And here's Dobson being racist with the enemy designs. Here's an experiment, show this to the Dobson of today, call out the racist character design and see if he responds with 1.) Blindly accepting a young lesbian's opinion without realizing it's his game. or 2.) Trying to delete the game from existence, blocking you and getting really salty & defensive whenever someone brings it up. (Don't actually do either.)
Oooga Booga!
The next level is up in the clouds. I timed this stage. It took me 35 seconds to beat this. Watch out violent vidya, Dobson's the second coming of Miyamoto.
Flip a do.
The next level is outer space, complete with copypasted stars, hitting your head on the invisible walls and the crap on the upper-left part of the screen getting in the way. Just like actual outer space!
GREATLEVELDESIGNMATE
The last level I got to is Bumblebee Land before I fucked up and lost my last life. The bees made weird meowing noises. Y'know, as bees do.
That bee's expression mirrored mine.
It's at this point that I left to go get lunch. When I came back, the game wouldn't work.
Try and beat THAT high score, Kiwis!
Life is grand.
It's Pong, but with a random photo of David Bowie playing a concert in the background. Projectiles fall down when you hit the walls. That's really all there is to the game. There isn't even music or anything.
I'd give this points if a shitty MIDI version of "Fame" played in the background.
No joke, when I first played this, the ball got stuck on the wall and I won against the computer.
Sexy Times Hitler: Master of Bowie Pong and shitposter extraordinaire.
The laziness only gets worse from here.
I want to draw attention to what Dobson wrote in the descrpition:
I'd give this points if a shitty MIDI version of "Fame" played in the background.
No joke, when I first played this, the ball got stuck on the wall and I won against the computer.
Sexy Times Hitler: Master of Bowie Pong and shitposter extraordinaire.
The laziness only gets worse from here.
I want to draw attention to what Dobson wrote in the descrpition:
Stay thirsty, my friend.Dobson powiedział(a):
This was the second-most interesting game after AzP to me just going off of his description:
We begin in a base camp where our main character Daria stands around wearing Geordi visors, a Lapis Lazuli haircut from Steven Universe, and generally rocking the "Sci-fi Hipster Janitor" a e s t h e t i c. You walk over to collect boots that make you jump higher and...a gun?
Who are you and what have you done with our priss?
You go outside, shoot one enemy and platform up into a cave with a bleak, grey background. To think, his own game would give the Dobson of today a brain aneurysm.
It's like Axiom Verge, except if it took 5 minutes to make instead of 5 years.
You then go into a cave where the game completely and utterly shits the bed. As far as I can tell, if you leave the stage, the game glitches out and you wind up becoming a ghost, unable to make any progress whatsoever. Laziness at the cost of making a product a normal person would be proud of. Now that's the Dobson I know!
I'm not joking with this. You glitch into a fucking ghost.
Tension? Putting effort in his work? Basic game programming skills? Typos? It sounded too good to be true, and well...There's a reason he said "This Game has alot of errors".Dobbo powiedział(a):
We begin in a base camp where our main character Daria stands around wearing Geordi visors, a Lapis Lazuli haircut from Steven Universe, and generally rocking the "Sci-fi Hipster Janitor" a e s t h e t i c. You walk over to collect boots that make you jump higher and...a gun?
Who are you and what have you done with our priss?
You go outside, shoot one enemy and platform up into a cave with a bleak, grey background. To think, his own game would give the Dobson of today a brain aneurysm.
It's like Axiom Verge, except if it took 5 minutes to make instead of 5 years.
You then go into a cave where the game completely and utterly shits the bed. As far as I can tell, if you leave the stage, the game glitches out and you wind up becoming a ghost, unable to make any progress whatsoever. Laziness at the cost of making a product a normal person would be proud of. Now that's the Dobson I know!
I'm not joking with this. You glitch into a fucking ghost.
Get your tracing jokes out of the way, people.
DAT COMIC SANS.
Trace is the most simple, and consequently, the most insulting of the bunch. The aim of the game is to trace the outlines of his horrid drawings before time runs out, but the flaws are that 1.) The paintbrush is scattered, meaning it'll be a black outline with random blotches of red and 2.) You're given way too much time to finish tracing, which means you could finish, piss, heat up food in the microwave and dispose of a body in the time it takes for the clock to run out.
Getting the high score is very easy.
Even though I'm pretty sure this was made for two-year olds, at this point, it has an audience of us and only us.
The young people's favorite!
DAT COMIC SANS.
Trace is the most simple, and consequently, the most insulting of the bunch. The aim of the game is to trace the outlines of his horrid drawings before time runs out, but the flaws are that 1.) The paintbrush is scattered, meaning it'll be a black outline with random blotches of red and 2.) You're given way too much time to finish tracing, which means you could finish, piss, heat up food in the microwave and dispose of a body in the time it takes for the clock to run out.
Getting the high score is very easy.
Even though I'm pretty sure this was made for two-year olds, at this point, it has an audience of us and only us.
The young people's favorite!
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 23 Gru 2016
That Janus game looks like a Super Mario ripoff, and a poor one at that.
The rest just look like ripoffs, and the trace looks like a terrible Put Put and Fatty Bear ripoff.
Dobbo the Ripoff Twat
MarineN*423543
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 6 Kwi 2017
Andrew *i fail at everything* Dobson
- Dołączono
- 24 Lut 2016
I say Dobson is going by how Italians have a darker skin complexion compared to say someone from Scandinavia even though European countries are associated with a white majority. But maybe like other SJWs, Dobson sees everything as racist.How's it racist, Italians are white?
- Dołączono
- 9 Cze 2013
We Wuz Plumbers n Sheeeeeit. Nah, I'm joking about the "Power + Prejuidice is racism" definition.
- Dołączono
- 10 Lip 2015
I finally got the AzP game to work.
The very first thing you see when the game loads. There isn't even a main menu.
There are two stages you can pick from. Clicking on Coconut Isle pops you into this, complete with a slurred voice going "Eye ahm Alex zeee Piehrat". I don't know why the voice actress is so slurred, nor do I really want to know.
This looks deceptively decent, doesn't it?
I'll give some mild praise to the sprite-work, in that while it may feel like a prototype for a Game Boy Advance game, it at least kinda looks like a game. Can't say the same to everything else. While Janus had music that was few and far between, AzP has nothing but stock sound effects and a funky boombox beat if you hold down the attack button.
Of course, it wouldn't be an Andrew Dobson anything without the pervasive feeling of frustration, and AzP is no different. One thing I left out in the Janus part of my previous post is that when you're attacked, you don't get a brief window of invincibility in contrast to most other platformers. The same applies here, but enemies also don't stop when they're being attacked, meaning that when you're attacking the (ugh, male) enemies, you're bound to get hit back.
If you read this game as Alex attacking an island full of exceptional pirates, it suddenly becomes a lot more entertaining.
Items such as temporary invincibility, enemies and 1-ups are programmed just out of jumping range, making me wonder why Dobson put them there if only to be a miserable dick years after the fact. And see those barrels in that picture above? I destroyed one barrel near a platform, only to wind up stuck an unable to progress. It almost feels like he's punishing players for wanting to be curious. There were two virtually identical parts to this level, and after I finished, it yanked me back to the level select.
Then we get to Level 2, "Haunted Isle":
This is insufficiently 2spooky4me.
In what looks more like an abortive attempt at an ice level repackaged as a haunted cave, You go right, passing through a level virtually identical to the last two, you come to the end...
It yanks you back to the level select.
The end.
Now I'm left wondering what would ever happen to Dobson if he changed his career from being a shitball cartoonist to being a shitball game developer.
Anyways, thank you Kiwis for being a part of this ride with me today as we explored a lesser known facet of the living failure that is Andrew Dobson.
P.S. As for how I managed to lose three lives in the fucking AzP game, well, would you give enough of a shit to play this thing as well as possible?
Dobbo powiedział(a):
All great artists have their unfinished masterpieces. David Foster Wallace has The Pale King, Jeff Buckley has My Sweetheart the Drunk and Orson Welles has The Other Side of the Wind. If that's the case, then it says a lot about Dobson that his unfinished masterpiece is Alex ze Pirate. The comic or the game? It doesn't matter, he still gave up anyways.Sexy Times Hitler powiedział(a):
The very first thing you see when the game loads. There isn't even a main menu.
There are two stages you can pick from. Clicking on Coconut Isle pops you into this, complete with a slurred voice going "Eye ahm Alex zeee Piehrat". I don't know why the voice actress is so slurred, nor do I really want to know.
This looks deceptively decent, doesn't it?
I'll give some mild praise to the sprite-work, in that while it may feel like a prototype for a Game Boy Advance game, it at least kinda looks like a game. Can't say the same to everything else. While Janus had music that was few and far between, AzP has nothing but stock sound effects and a funky boombox beat if you hold down the attack button.
Of course, it wouldn't be an Andrew Dobson anything without the pervasive feeling of frustration, and AzP is no different. One thing I left out in the Janus part of my previous post is that when you're attacked, you don't get a brief window of invincibility in contrast to most other platformers. The same applies here, but enemies also don't stop when they're being attacked, meaning that when you're attacking the (ugh, male) enemies, you're bound to get hit back.
If you read this game as Alex attacking an island full of exceptional pirates, it suddenly becomes a lot more entertaining.
Items such as temporary invincibility, enemies and 1-ups are programmed just out of jumping range, making me wonder why Dobson put them there if only to be a miserable dick years after the fact. And see those barrels in that picture above? I destroyed one barrel near a platform, only to wind up stuck an unable to progress. It almost feels like he's punishing players for wanting to be curious. There were two virtually identical parts to this level, and after I finished, it yanked me back to the level select.
Then we get to Level 2, "Haunted Isle":
This is insufficiently 2spooky4me.
In what looks more like an abortive attempt at an ice level repackaged as a haunted cave, You go right, passing through a level virtually identical to the last two, you come to the end...
It yanks you back to the level select.
The end.
Now I'm left wondering what would ever happen to Dobson if he changed his career from being a shitball cartoonist to being a shitball game developer.
Anyways, thank you Kiwis for being a part of this ride with me today as we explored a lesser known facet of the living failure that is Andrew Dobson.
P.S. As for how I managed to lose three lives in the fucking AzP game, well, would you give enough of a shit to play this thing as well as possible?
- Dołączono
- 6 Paź 2014
The VA had to get drunk to be able to handle being around Flopson.
- Dołączono
- 3 Gru 2013
Do I even need to say it?
- Dołączono
- 12 Lis 2015
Andrew, rushing to the defense of lazy "artists" everywhere.
- Dołączono
- 8 Lip 2015
Dobson is a proponent of the idiotic notion of "Just do art, and you will absorb the skill", instead of actively trying to improve oneself. Yet here he is defending a guy who is criticised for not doing art.