I saw that "alpine divorce" has been trending lately as a topic of conversation. There's a video going around of a woman crying because her boyfriend took her on a hike and then left her there to find her way back on her own. This has other women coming forward to share their similar experiences.
I had no idea this had a name. I know I'm late to the party, but sharing my own experience.
I'm a recreational hiker but by no means advanced. My then-bf and I planned to do a very challenging hike that he has done multiple times but would be the first time for me. Many people have died on this trail, or needed to be rescued.
While packing, I asked "Do I need to bring sunscreen?" "No".
We started the hike at 6:00 am. Within an hour, he was long gone. By 9:00 am, I hadn't seen anyone else on the trail, and worried I was lost, so I decided to backtrack. Luckily, I met some people coming up the trail, and they reassured me that I was on the right path. By noon hour, I found him sunning himself on a large boulder, waiting for me. I begged him to stay with me. He did...halfheartedly. He went ahead and I couldn't see him, but I would eventually catch up.
We did the most dangerous part together, and he was able to help me down from some drops. By then, the sun was setting. He was bouncing from rock to rock, and I was being more cautious. A couple of girls that we passed earlier were now passing us.
He told me that it would be dangerous for him to go as slow as me, and he would be heading down alone. I pleaded with him to stay with me, but he said he would get hurt if he hiked down at my speed. I suggested that he go slightly head and wait for me to catch up, so we could go down together, but he refused.
To add insult to injury, he told me he thought I would be a better hiker, and if I wasn't so slow, we would be down by now. I replied that if he had stayed with me, I wouldn't have lost almost 2 hours backtracking and catching up.
He left me alone, in the dark, to descend an unfamiliar mountain, with no flashlight, because
he didn't want to get hurt. I was terrified and sobbing. It took me over an hour to get down, because I was being so cautious. He kindly took my pack so I wouldn't have to carry it, but it meant I didn't have a long sleeve shirt to protect against bugs and mosquitos.
When I finally got down, I was a mess, and he was casually chatting with the ranger. He didn't know what the big deal was. "You made it!"
He wanted to illegally camp to save money on accommodations, but I insisted we get a hotel so I could have a shower. I said I would pay for that night, if he would get the hotel the next night.
At the hotel, I discovered I had the worst sunburn of my life. I had blisters for a week, and liquid would run down every time I moved my arm. I asked why he told me not to bring sunscreen. "I brought some. You should have asked for it". "You told me that I didn't need it. You didn't say that I didn't need to bring it because you were bringing some. And by the way, your tube is empty, and expired 4 years ago".
He refused to pay for the hotel the next night. "Let's camp! It'll be fun!" We were in a small forest with prominent "no camping signs" but he insisted it would be ok. He left me alone while he collected firewood, even though I told him I was scared to be alone, especially since we weren't supposed to be there. He kept the good sleeping pad for himself, while I slept on a deflated air mattress and felt every stick and rock.
I never knew it was possible to hate someone that much.
He never apologized. I brought up how he abandoned me several times during arguments, and only got a "sorry you were scared". Finally, I got a "I'm sorry. I'm so ashamed at what I did, and I regret it every day". Bullshit. He didn't care and never did.