💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

Jack is hinting at doing gourmet pizza month next. That must mean that he has his fifth or sixth chinesium beetza oven standing by (the last one he probably ruined cooking carnivore steak in). Or he will halfass it and try to cook pizza in the smansnug oven that isn’t capable of the heat necessary for pizza.


Of course this is just a few months following his lame deep dish pizza wars in Chicago, this lazy fuck just wants and edible shovel for gud meats.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack is hinting at doing gourmet pizza month next.

This fat retard couldn't properly make a Chef Boyardee boxed pizza kit.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

This fat retard couldn't properly make a Chef Boyardee boxed pizza kit.

Fatty would find a way to fuck up a hard boiled egg or toast

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[souschef]

*sub-retard. Get Down with Sean and Marley demonstrates that following basic directions allows Down Syndrome Australians to competently cook circles around Jack-O-Lantern:

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[I prefer to believe that this irritation is the culmination of years Tammy has devoted to farting on Jack's pillow any time he's out of the room.]

Damn, i haven't seen his face as i usually jump right into the cooking. There's no way this is shaving, unless he's shaving his forehead. Looks like an allergy reaction, but i'm no doctor. All i can say it's probably his fault

On other note, has Tammy actually said that his cooking is bad on other occasions? I always see her giving a reluctant "it's good", but this thing he did was so atrocious that she couldn't muster the strength to lie this time

 

[Random Internet Person]

Jack is hinting at doing gourmet pizza month next. That must mean that he has his fifth or sixth chinesium beetza oven standing by (the last one he probably ruined cooking carnivore steak in). Or he will halfass it and try to cook pizza in the smansnug oven that isn’t capable of the heat necessary for pizza.


Of course this is just a few months following his lame deep dish pizza wars in Chicago, this lazy fuck just wants and edible shovel for gud meats.

This could be a trainwreck and I’m here for it. I wonder if Jack will shit talk folks who pat down pizza grease with a napkin.

 

[the khat quaffer]

He's the best, his sauce is the best that i'll ever buy, unwilling to learn from anyone except if it's some lazy "life hax" bullshit he saw while doomscrolling on the toilet

His sauce is the best though. It is unrivaled at attracting deer & resealing your pavement. It also wards off burgulars because one whiff of that lets deviants know there ain't shit worth stealing in your house.

The actual reason his face is all fucked up is because he had an allergic reaction after one of his behind-the-Denny's-dumpster encounters.

Well, he does subscribe to the Homies Over Hoes mindset. It's a staple of Denny's.

The Grand Slam ain't the only kinda sausage he gets.

It took a lot of trial and error in terms of dietary changes, various treatments, and skincare protocols before I was able to zero in on the right formula to get it under control. I’m incredibly grateful that I no longer have that weight on my shoulders.

Mupirocen cream/ointment, brother. Prescription grade. Fuckin' hand of God.

Hydrocortisone is just a bandaid. Of course your mileage may vary.

*sub-retard. Get Down with Sean and Marley demonstrates that following basic directions allows Down Syndrome Australians to competently cook circles around Jack-O-Lantern:

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[I prefer to believe that this irritation is the culmination of years Tammy has devoted to farting on Jack's pillow any time he's out of the room.]

He's trying out his cosplay as a kawaii anime girl, senpai uguuu~

I've been shaving for years and my face inever looked like that. What did he use, a cheese grater? Is he trying to Make America Grate Again? Did he pull a Chris-chan and shave himself dry? Didi he buy some wifi-enabled chink electric razor off Temu?

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

I wonder if the bull got a new brand of lube and Jack had an allergic reaction after having it cockslapped all over his face.

Dermatologist NOW.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Is Jack still not doing livestreams because he’s afraid of critical feedback? Too bad. Citizen journalists shouldn’t have to work so hard just to get a comment on Jack’s inflamed face.

 

[p1138]

Is Jack still not doing livestreams because he’s afraid of critical feedback? Too bad. Citizen journalists shouldn’t have to work so hard just to get a comment on Jack’s inflamed face.

No, he still does them on his F as in Fat channel, they're usually just not worth discussing as it's him rambling even more than he does on twitter, and no one wants to sit through an hour of his gurgling and coughing.

https://www.youtube.com/@fasinfrank2012/streams

 

[the khat quaffer]

Maybe he did get a allergic reaction to something.

He must have faceplanted into some pussy.

Or he had a thought.

This could be a trainwreck and I’m here for it. I wonder if Jack will shit talk folks who pat down pizza grease with a napkin.

I've heard of worse pizza sins. Like kneading dough with a gaudy wedding ring on.

 

[Hamburger Detractor]

a Chef Boyardee boxed pizza kit

That's a thing? Regardless, I wouldn't even trust Jack to not fuck up a Lunchables pizza at this point.

 

[Tiresome]

That's a thing? Regardless, I wouldn't even trust Jack to not fuck up a Lunchables pizza at this point.

Chef Boyardee pizza is too high tone for Jack. I'd give him this nostalgic staple of middle-agefags who grew up poor, which Jack certainly qualifies as. The cheapest biscuit crust powder available and the cheapest grade-Z tomato sauce you can find, entombed within one red palace of failure. Don't be fooled by the 39 cents worth of cheese on the cover, you don't get any.

 

[semitooth]

i feel like his voice is sounding even more nasally & congested somehow

 

[Falcon Sebben]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZtmAteNyFIIi feel like his voice is sounding even more nasally & congested somehow

Like this faggot cares about quality when he eats the cheapest and lowest quality foods out there.

And yes, he sound worse than usual.

 

[p1138]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZtmAteNyFIIi feel like his voice is sounding even more nasally & congested somehow

Christ, he could barely say "Hey guize". He's also still fucking up his recordings in Zoom at the wrong framerate and uploading it to youtube slightly slowed down.

30 seconds in he gives up reading, and then just makes up bullshit? What the fuck is the point of even bringing up the article then? Doesn't know what "ubiquitous" means because he's a mushbrain, and insists he thinks they wrote one thing and meant another... no they meant they wanted to grow the brand more. I bet the reason he hates papa johns is that they work with Shaq after firing the founder for being a moron years ago.

 

[soulless guarantee]

Jack is hinting at doing gourmet pizza month next. That must mean that he has his fifth or sixth chinesium beetza oven standing by (the last one he probably ruined cooking carnivore steak in). Or he will halfass it and try to cook pizza in the smansnug oven that isn’t capable of the heat necessary for pizza.


Of course this is just a few months following his lame deep dish pizza wars in Chicago, this lazy fuck just wants and edible shovel for gud meats.

If he's hinting at gourmet pizza month in February, then he's already forgotten that Feb is AI battles month, that he announced less than a week ago:

 

[John Andrews Stan]

If he's hinting at gourmet pizza month in February, then he's already forgotten that Feb is AI battles month

I wouldn’t put it past him to pretend he always intended for all of the AI battles to be over “gourmet” pizza.

(Gourmet is a hideous word subjected to cruel abuse. Don’t get me started.)

 

[the khat quaffer]

Chef Boyardee pizza is too high tone for Jack. I'd give him this nostalgic staple of middle-agefags who grew up poor, which Jack certainly qualifies as. The cheapest biscuit crust powder available and the cheapest grade-Z tomato sauce you can find, entombed within one red palace of failure. Don't be fooled by the 39 cents worth of cheese on the cover, you don't get any.

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Jack has shreddy cheese on tap. He'll bitch but he'll be fine.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZtmAteNyFIIi feel like his voice is sounding even more nasally & congested somehow

"You get horrible portions at the drive-thru..." Nice to see Jack has moved on and totally isn't still bitter about his last JotG excursion to Chipodilay. (tl;dw he got the same portion exact portion in the drive-thru vs. in person, just arranged different)

 

[John Andrews Stan]

horrible portions

This should be the title of a documentary about Jack Scalfani’s life.