I just wanted to pop in and say that I absolutely hate men. I don’t know if there is even a ‘right’ one out there anymore.
The last guy I was with called me a prude for him being the fifth person I have slept with. I’m middle aged. Surprisingly, he was rightwing.
My ex called me a whore just for being friendly to other men, as it is part of my job. He was leftwing and a “””feminist”””.
I don’t know where the line sits anymore as, clearly, the men can’t make a decision on what a woman should be. Fuck em. I’m joining a knitting circle and adopting 200 cats.
This reminds me of my recent adventures at using a dating app for the first time. If I may, allow me to sperge out about these series of unfortunate events.
I'm Catholic, and after a while of dating non-Catholics, realized that I would be better off being with someone of the same religion as me. So I made an account with CatholicMatch, and boy, was really disappointed and upset with how it turned out, so much so in fact, that I ended up deleting my account.
Here are some of the highlights (or lowlights):
- A lot of the guys were mid, either in looks or personality, or both. I only ended up liking a handful of men. I was not expecting the majority of men to be unattractive.
- One of the guys that I ended up talking to was abt 7-8 years older than me (I'm not normally one to care about age gaps, but I was getting messages from a lot of guys who were 5-10 years older than me which made me rather uncomfortable). Anyway, we video call, he calls me beautiful right out of the gate (which I found to be rather gross because it didn't seem sincere and we had just met, I felt it was too soon to be calling me beautiful), and we talk for a while. I precede to tell him that I've dated non-Catholics before, and my reasons for doing so. His expression immediately changed from interest to disgust, and he flat out told me that he had no interest in dating a Catholic who would date outside their own religion. He still tried to be friends, but I felt so uncomfortable by him that I stopped talking to him. Might I add, he was a lot more unattractive in video than in pictures.
- Anyway, so I'm a little upset that I was judged over something that I felt like I had good reasons for, but I think, hey, maybe I dodged a bullet. I keep looking, and managed to find a guy who I thought was cute and had an interesting personality. I like him, he ends up liking me back, and finally, I think, maybe this one will work out. We talk almost every day for three weeks. At first, he was alright, had horrible grammar and no sense of humor (he told me he couldn't tell jokes, and didn't understand the simplest of dark humor. He only laughed at a stupid pun I told him), was a bit dry when texting as well, but I think, hey, I can look past this and get to know him more.
- The first instance where I felt like something was wrong is when I didn't text him back for a day. It was actually the anniversary of 9/11, and the day after the Charlie Kirk assassination. I was spending all my time on here and watching the news, along with working, so I didn't even think about messaging him. He messages me that night, "Did you not want to talk anymore?". I just replied that I was busy with work and watching the news, but I couldn't help but think, why is this guy so clingy? I mean if he didn't message me back for a day (which he had done before), I'd just assume he was busy, so it seems strange to me that he automatically assumes that I don't want to talk to him anymore. Additionally, my last relationship was with a guy who was co-dependent and I really don't want to deal with another guy like it. This is strike number 1.
- Strike number 2 comes a few days later. He asks me, "How do you feel about living with your boyfriend?". I tell him no, I don't support cohabitation. Catholics aren't supposed to anyway, so I was wondering why he asked me that in the first place. I feel a little bit uneasy about it, but decide to hear him out. He replies, "Well to be honest I feel the same way to. But my brother plans on moving out in May to live his girlfriend because he does not feel the same way. So I am need to find a roommate soon." (I told you he had horrible grammar). I tell him that I'm not being his roommate if that's what he's thinking.
- I think he will reply. I wait a day, then two days, then three days. Nothing. I wait a week. No response. I ask some of my irl friends for advice. They think he ghosted me and was probably trying to take advantage of me. This is strike number 3.
I ended up deleting my account (super easy to do btw, you just hit delete and it's gone, no jumping through hoops to do so, which is great). But I couldn't help but be angry. I've dealt with too many guys trying to take advantage of me in the past. And if they aren't trying to take advantage of me, they're too clingy or whiny. And like the Kiwi I replied to, I've basically given up. No more dating apps, no more putting myself out there. I've come to the conclusion that the vast majority of men are too driven by lust - not simply sex, but lust - and thus cannot have a satisfying relationship with a woman. Are there men out there who respect women? Yes, I am lucky to know men who are like that, but they are few and far between. Like Flannery O'Connor once wrote, a good man is hard to find. And I have given up on finding.