What stuff you went through on the internet because of being a woman?

[controversial666]

Like I'm a man so I never had to deal with it but I heard a lot about the way women treated online for example being told tits or GTFO, and like then I wanna ask: how did you deal with it? Do you often hide your identity online? Do you LARP as a man so you don't get this kind of treatment? Do you just use female boards instead? I don't know it's just questions that crossed my mind

 

[Gaddafi]

I don't speak for every woman but in my experience I haven't had as much sexism as I have seen dudes be weird and try to edate as soon as they find out I'm a woman. I don't put my face or voice on the internet besides my close friends either so it's not like they find me attractive it's just because I'm a woman lol. It doesn't help a lot of my interests are what you'd associate with lonely men (like comics).

Voice chat on video games is also annoying solely because it's always really unoriginal. I'm fine with banter but being called a dishwasher 300 times is just boring. At least call me fat or something cause it's funny.

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Not much, surprisingly. Mostly just secondhand embarrassment.

 

[Just A Rat]

I wouldn’t say I larped as a man, but I tend to have usernames (and behaviours I guess) that lead people to assume that I am one, so for the most part the Woman Online experience missed me.

 

[Hum Humina]

Mostly dudes being gross about my tits, though that was the pre-internet online world where we’d also meet up in person, as I am old enough to remember when most of the internet was like this place. Flattering, I guess, but also gross. In the wider web, I tended to stick to niche female spaces or hide my sex in the wider ones.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I wouldn’t say I larped as a man, but I tend to have usernames (and behaviours I guess) that lead people to assume that I am one, so for the most part the Woman Online experience missed me.

Yeah, that's me. I still get that.

But, being an artist, my experience has been I got a lot of requests for foot fetish art. I got unsolicited dms on deviantart asking what kind of bugs I wanted to step on, and what socks I wore. A guy commissioned me for foot fetish art, but didn't admit it until I asked if it was fetish art. He was nice, paid well, and it was sfw, but I wish he would've told me. And you'd think I would've gotten other fetish people, or maybe I drew a lot of nsfw...but no, feet people were just so precalent and had no shame, and I didn't draw NSFW (I still don't). I was a teenager during all of this, too, and I started stylizing my art to "avoid" drawing feet. It sorta shifted towards this:

Because no feet.

 

[TooManyKittens]

I've been on and off hiding that I'm a woman for decades. Initially it was inadvertent. These days it's because some coding language communities are complete shitbags who happily disregard any and all suggestions and questions from women. It's easier to read as a man than it is to fight them about it so that's what I do.

Depends highly on where I am. KF and a few communities with people I know and like? I'm a woman. Elsewhere? Intentionally non stated and that generally leads people to assume male.

I'm not on many places anymore online because idk. Internet feels like garbage and I miss the late 90s early 00s version. Really I suppose I'm more absent than I am anything.

 

[unexpected onions]

I've also managed to avoid all that crap because of my male online persona that I've been using since I was 11. KF is pretty much the first place in almost two decades where I've been myself.

 

[The Crescent King]

Never had a bad experience so bad on the farms, but on Twitter I used to be active in radfem or radfem adjacent circles. All I have to say that men on Twitter are absolutely awful in every way. A trait of Internet beta males is that they can't stand women discussing our experiences as women without any male input; every time without fail a man would insert himself into a conversation irrelevant to himself in an attempt to derail the thread of the conversation, often by misinterpeting what the women were saying, and brigading by groypers/incel communities was common. They're almost as bad as trannies who invade every online space with tranny flags and their "bend the knee and say trans rights" BS. Deleted my Twitter years ago and haven't looked back.

 

[controversial666]

I don't speak for every woman but in my experience I haven't had as much sexism as I have seen dudes be weird and try to edate as soon as they find out I'm a woman. I don't put my face or voice on the internet besides my close friends either so it's not like they find me attractive it's just because I'm a woman lol. It doesn't help a lot of my interests are what you'd associate with lonely men (like comics).

Voice chat on video games is also annoying solely because it's always really unoriginal. I'm fine with banter but being called a dishwasher 300 times is just boring. At least call me fat or something cause it's funny.

Mentioning that, any good multiplayer recommendations? I wanted to try something but like shooters gets repetitive

 

[controversial666]

Mostly dudes being gross about my tits, though that was the pre-internet online world where we’d also meet up in person, as I am old enough to remember when most of the internet was like this place. Flattering, I guess, but also gross. In the wider web, I tended to stick to niche female spaces or hide my sex in the wider ones.

Like pre world wide Web or you mean something else by pre Internet? Like you used to use the stuff that predated it? I didn't even know it was a thing until I was told that by my dad

 

[controversial666]

Yeah, that's me. I still get that.

But, being an artist, my experience has been I got a lot of requests for foot fetish art. I got unsolicited dms on deviantart asking what kind of bugs I wanted to step on, and what socks I wore. A guy commissioned me for foot fetish art, but didn't admit it until I asked if it was fetish art. He was nice, paid well, and it was sfw, but I wish he would've told me. And you'd think I would've gotten other fetish people, or maybe I drew a lot of nsfw...but no, feet people were just so precalent and had no shame, and I didn't draw NSFW (I still don't). I was a teenager during all of this, too, and I started stylizing my art to "avoid" drawing feet. It sorta shifted towards this:
Wyświetl załącznik 7767741
Because no feet.

I see you're a panty and stocking fan, it's a really really good anime from what I've heard. Also yeah it sucks to deal with creeps like these. I'm artist that only does drawing as hobby and never does commissions so never had to deal with that. Also do you draw digitally or traditionally and which tools do you use or have you used if you don't use anymore? I for example mainly use graphite pencils or chalk or colored pencils and other such things but never digitally. I also really struggled with acrylic and oil paintings

 

[controversial666]

I've been on and off hiding that I'm a woman for decades. Initially it was inadvertent. These days it's because some coding language communities are complete shitbags who happily disregard any and all suggestions and questions from women. It's easier to read as a man than it is to fight them about it so that's what I do.

Depends highly on where I am. KF and a few communities with people I know and like? I'm a woman. Elsewhere? Intentionally non stated and that generally leads people to assume male.

I'm not on many places anymore online because idk. Internet feels like garbage and I miss the late 90s early 00s version. Really I suppose I'm more absent than I am anything.

Have you also used the Internet pre world Web, and if yes, how was it? And like it sounds really shit to not be taken seriously by others. Been kinda struggling with something similiar but not the same (basically diagnosed really early on with autism so my signs of being autistic are way more noticeable than most people diagnosed with ASD, and so people often don't take me seriously), because I feel like I deserve that people don't take me seriously because I'll admit, I'm not the best person to exist, and I'm definitely flawed

Also any tips for learning programming or anything IT related?

 

[controversial666]

Never had a bad experience so bad on the farms, but on Twitter I used to be active in radfem or radfem adjacent circles. All I have to say that men on Twitter are absolutely awful in every way. A trait of Internet beta males is that they can't stand women discussing our experiences as women without any male input; every time without fail a man would insert himself into a conversation irrelevant to himself in an attempt to derail the thread of the conversation, often by misinterpeting what the women were saying, and brigading by groypers/incel communities was common. They're almost as bad as trannies who invade every online space with tranny flags and their "bend the knee and say trans rights" BS. Deleted my Twitter years ago and haven't looked back.

That's why I genuinely hate other men but also myself cuz I'll admit I have general problem of not being able to listen to others, and being stubborn, I wish it wasn't a thing so this world would have had peace and stuff. Also yeah I've heard of how much shitty Twitter is and also how was your experience on other social media as well?

 

[There She Glows]

The endless gender war garbage is hard to deal with sometimes. Reading certain generalities about women can get very frustrating when I know for a fact that they don't apply to me, or other women I know. Not saying there aren't common differences between the genders, but shit like "women only value how much money you make" or even really petty, specific shit like "women don't torrent/use vpns/crypto" (saw that one the other day on the farms). But of course there isn't any point to arguing on the internet. When I see a comment that gets to me which is pretty often if I'm being honest I just try to gloss over it as though it isn't there because I'm not going to change any minds.

Should I care? No lol. But I like men and I have always gotten along with men and have always had close (platonic) relationships with men in my life who are important to me. Was definitely a tomboy and spent a lot of time with my dad and my grandpa. Was always kind of "one of the guys" (not to be confused with thinking I'm a guy) and got shit for it from other girls which really hurt me when I was a teenager. So it sucks that the online spaces I enjoy nowadays feel divided up into either radfem style shitting on men or incel style shitting on women. The radfem side is alienating and the incel side makes me think worse of men, I have to remind myself of all the actual men I know IRL who are normal and kind and thoughtful and don't hate my entire gender.

I've been online since the MySpace days and back then anonymous spaces were seemingly male dominated, generally if you didn't specify your gender you were assumed to be male. I say "seemingly" because I do wonder how many other girls were doing what I was doing and letting that assumption pass in order to have a normal conversation. Women who said they were women were seen as attention whores and got sexually harrassed so I'd say a lot of the women who were very public about their gender in anonymous spaces actually did seem to want that kind of male attention. Might be a controversial statement especially to other women but that's how I remember it. It could also be an incorrect perspective on things too since I was just a kid, but the fact that I remember it that way probably says something about the way things were back then too. Things have improved in that sense. Women who are after male attention have a million ways and spaces to do that that aren't an anonymous forum so for the most part men who want to simp or send dick pics or whatever aren't hassling someone with no personal pictures of themselves just because they mention in passing that they're female. But that's mostly KF and a couple other niche corners of the internet I won't mention because I stay the fuck away from the big social media platforms.

 

[Hum Humina]

Like pre world wide Web or you mean something else by pre Internet? Like you used to use the stuff that predated it? I didn't even know it was a thing until I was told that by my dad

Single-line BBSes, as well as the pre-WWW and early WWW internet. My online life predates Netscape by a few years. Coomers had to get their porn uphill in the snow both ways back then.

 

[Baumstriezel]

I was a little girl with an internet connection and too innocent and sheltered to know I had to hide.
I was 9 years old when I was first shown hardcore pornography by an “online friend” on MSN. Another sent me a video of child pornography. Even as a child myself, just the thumbnail made me want to vomit, and I deleted it. It was of a toddler.
I have this surreal fucking memory of crying on my 12th birthday because I was “not a cute loli anymore”.
As a teenager, I had a porn addiction, and constantly daydreamed about ripping my breasts off and burning my vagina shut so I would never end up like the girls in the videos and comics I read and watched.
It took years of therapy to undo that shit, and it still crops up from time to time.

 

[controversial666]

I was a little girl with an internet connection and too innocent and sheltered to know I had to hide.
I was 9 years old when I was first shown hardcore pornography by an “online friend” on MSN. Another sent me a video of child pornography. Even as a child myself, just the thumbnail made me want to vomit, and I deleted it. It was of a toddler.
I have this surreal fucking memory of crying on my 12th birthday because I was “not a cute loli anymore”.
As a teenager, I had a porn addiction, and constantly daydreamed about ripping my breasts off and burning my vagina shut so I would never end up like the girls in the videos and comics I read and watched.
It took years of therapy to undo that shit, and it still crops up from time to time.

I'm very sorry for you with what happened to you. I don't even know what to say, this is fucked up beyond any belief

 

[Mandy Stroyer]

The male larp has been going on almost as long as I have been on the internet. It's been on and off, and wasn't always intentional. I never specify I'm a woman anywhere else or post pictures of myself just out of privacy concerns. I'm typically assumed to be a male based on interests, views, typing style, and avatars. It became more intentional the older I got to the point of not referring to myself by any specific pronouns at all or implying I'm straight/gay/whatever. I remained as ambiguous as possible.

I slipped up once and said something a little too feminine which resulted in an immediate flooding of DMs, everything from dating propositions, nude requests, and rape threats. It only ended when I left the platform and even then, several men dug around for me on others to continue their "flirting". This wasn't solely out of hatred, most of these men used to be my friends or long time followers who respected me. Now all of a sudden instead of being one of the bros, always invited to group chats and games, always having people laugh at my memes and agree with my takes, I'm a yucky woman. I didn't lie. I never even specified I was male and it's not my fault they assumed I was because they couldn't conceive of a woman that was just a normal person.

It was incredibly ostracizing and made me understand the era of women dressing as men to go out safely never really ended. It's just digital. It's like India out here. Once someone gets a whiff of pussy, they either want you or want you dead. I am female here where it's safe and everywhere else, I'm just some guy because I cannot have civil, nonsexual conversations otherwise. There is a saying going around about women wanting to be friends with men the way men are friends with men and you can be - if they don't know you're a woman.

 

[Otterly]

Here is the only place I really speak to people online and it’s pretty civilised.

for example being told tits or GTFO, and like then I wanna ask: how did you deal with it?

Shrug, scroll on. It’s nothing. As long as you’re anonymous .
People assumed I was a bloke here for a good while. I don’t think they treat me much differently when they know I’m female but like I said the farms is way more civilised than other places.
If I was anywhere else I’d just let people assume I was male, because behaviour can be revolting.