Official Kiwi Farms 'Dubai Chocolate' Hate Thread - This thread can also serve as a hub for other Instagramslop food

[Blue Flying Leaf]

Lindt ones are usually best and priciest.

 

[Valstrax]

The other day, I visited this one crepe place with my mom after visiting the thrift store and we saw that they stole Dubai Chocolate Crepes for 19.99 (so over 20 bucks).

 

[Super Guido]

Came here to Food forum to look for an appropriate thread and this was right at the top. Very spooky. Speaking of, they should have delayed this TikTok meme candy until Halloween.

That would help sell the baby barf look, for sure.

 

[donksmanSupreme42]

I don't trust jeets with anything, specially anything edible.

tbh tea is the only way jeets can drink the water

they dont know that boiling is what nakes the water drinkable, they just know that tea makes them not shit themselves when they drink

 

[spergetti & NEETballs]

i got to try this once and yeah, it's shitty. it doesn't even taste like pistachio

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

Dubai chocolate is good but I manage to get a cheap one. I saw them at my local store being sold for $20 a bar. Hell to the no.

 

[Pod 042]

This stuff started popping up in my local grocery store and now they have brought out the newest abomination.

It's the same pistachio cream chocolate but it also has cotton candy inside. You cannot convince me that people actually eat this.

 

[Kiwi Velour]

Before I read this thread I thought "dubai chocolate" was going to me some kind of scat perversion committed by the rich.

 

[AnOminous]

Before I read this thread I thought "dubai chocolate" was going to me some kind of scat perversion committed by the rich.

The conspiracy theory is it was in fact invented for SEO to cover up this particular Dubai perversion.

 

[Squanto Airi]

This stuff started popping up in my local grocery store and now they have brought out the newest abomination.
Wyświetl załącznik 7703958
It's the same pistachio cream chocolate but it also has cotton candy inside. You cannot convince me that people actually eat this.

Looking at that just makes my teeth hurt.

 

[Super Guido]

It's the same pistachio cream chocolate but it also has cotton candy inside. You cannot convince me that people actually eat this.

It looks like diabeetus in bar form.

There's a soft serve chain around here, called Surreal, that serves abominations, so I bet there is a market for this.

 

[Detective Carey]

You know what would be better? Chocolate covered (obviously shelled) whole pistachios.

Fuck that green paste stuff.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

Are the okay ones any similar to this? Ngl, I am curious about the dubai one to see what's all the fuss about, but still I did not yield and also I hate Dubai so...

 

[Pippa is a spic whore]

Just another case of the soyjak meme:

>slop
>slop, overpriced

 

[AnOminous]

Fuck that green paste stuff.

That green paste is not the real shit. The real shit is a combo of ground pistachios and shredded phyllo dough called kataifi, very similar to Middle Eastern baklava. It should never be just a paste. It should never be bright green. That's pig disgusting.

(And with the pure ripoff products probably also has artificial dyes because idiots think it should be glowing radioactive green for some reason. That is fake shit.)

The important ingredient, much like with baklava, is the shredded toasted phyllo dough which should be CRUNCHY.

Fun fact, you can actually do this yourself if you're insane.

It's actually a pretty labor-intensive process (this short video doesn't get into the process of shredding phyllo). You will also notice the amount of actual green shit that goes in is very small.

A much cheaper way of getting the experience is just buy a really good chocolate bar and a box of pistachio baklava. And you can swing that for $10 or so.

 

[biglurker]

So its just a light coating of decent chocolate filled with a mixture of honey, pistachios, and shredded wheat?
You can make many bars of that at home with little effort for $20, including buying a mold. I think buying the bars is only big because women are really into blowing money on status objects and like bright disgusting colors.

This stuff started popping up in my local grocery store and now they have brought out the newest abomination.
Wyświetl załącznik 7703958
It's the same pistachio cream chocolate but it also has cotton candy inside. You cannot convince me that people actually eat this.

My local one bought two boxes of these and I think they managed to sell 2 in the last 3 months. It doesn't even look good in the render on the box, what the hell was anyone thinking?

 

[donksmanSupreme42]

Dubai chocolate is good but I manage to get a cheap one. I saw them at my local store being sold for $20 a bar. Hell to the no.

i think the whole point is that it's overpriced

 

[AnOminous]

i think the whole point is that it's overpriced

That's how you trigger the FOMO meme thing. Duh.

 

[Caligura]

Fucking Lindt is getting in on this. They're trying to make it a Premium Experiencewhere you have to sign up on their website to get notified when it's available or go to a participating boutique

Wyświetl załącznik 7668690

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

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I do hate seeing his face, expertly crafting one chocolate ball at a time.