💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[AltisticRight]

Please tell me you have a graduate degree. If you don't, you should get one. It'd be so fucking easy for you and you could make bitches like me seethe hard about how you did it without much effort.

I've got one that's a bit more than a grad degree. In my early years of "actual jobs", I had to do similar things.
It's pretty easy once you know where to look and how to do it though, I wrote a tutorial for it on the site.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-8699728

Honestly though, if you know what to look for, even a child can do this.
Using this and the known length of one object, you can calculate the dimensions of everything in the photo using vanishing points.

If I know the height of the lamp, I can easily map it to the front next to the fat pig to calculate his height. Similarly, I can calculate the height of that cabinet on the side or the bed which is on approximately the same plane of perspective as the lamp.

This is one of the most piggish selfies I have seen. Look at the pile of dirty laundry at the back. Close your bathroom door, I don't need to see how much toilet paper you have left.
So fat and greasy.

 

[Summer of George]

This is one of the most piggish selfies I have seen. Look at the pile of dirty laundry at the back. Close your bathroom door, I don't need to see how much toilet paper you have left.
So fat and greasy.

That's a hotel, you big silly. His home bedroom can be easily identified by the stacks of unsold books and random buckets of margarine lying around.

 

[ParasiteSteve]

That's a hotel, you big silly. His home bedroom can be easily identified by the stacks of unsold books and random buckets of margarine lying around.

Cock and balls bulging in his ill fitting, non ironed jeans. Shirt, no iron either. What a fat bum.

 

[KarlJobber]

What is it with lolcows and being tied up in the courts? You absolute legend-child.

 

[AltisticRight]

That's a hotel, you big silly. His home bedroom can be easily identified by the stacks of unsold books and random buckets of margarine lying around.
Wyświetl załącznik 7306972

When your actual room resembles a sex motel and you're fat with bitch tits, you're also an unsuccessful author.

Oh yeah.
Wait.

 

[NaggotFigger]

Cock and balls bulging in his ill fitting, non ironed jeans. Shirt, no iron either. What a fat bum.

He’s not just lazy, fat and greasy; his faucet micropenis is shrunk to the point it made him look like a sissy fatso pussycat. I’m going to be autistic and be an Azn student and weaponized autism for this case.

Spoiler: Fat

The average flaccid penis length is 3.5 inch and erected penis length is 5.5 inch, and its erect circumference is 5 inch. In fact, he’s so fat, he’s abysmal and has a tiny micropenis that’s even smaller and greasier than an average micropenis (at 3.7 inch).

Spoiler: Fat Micropenis

The image of the average flaccid penis is 9.16cm, from the pubic bone to the tip. If we rotate the angle of Fat Rick’s dick angle to match:

Spoiler: Small

Here’s the length with the ruler:

Image 1 is the normal flaccid penis, which is 9.2cm

Image 2 is Pat’s flaccid penis’ length, which is at the whopping number of 6.6cm (2.5 inch). By standards, he shares the same girth as the average man’s penis (both erected and flaccid - 4.59 inch and 3.7 inch.), albeit smaller. His erected girth will be explained later.

Image 3 is the average testicle length from the base, which he also shares with at 8cm. The normal flaccid penis has the angle of 30 degrees, whilst Rick is below that, angled at maximum, 25 degrees; with his drift being the standard 4cm, and estimated weight being 0.5 kg.

Now, to calculate his erect penis’ length; I will get into calculating the perimeter and radius of Fat Rick’s cock, which is like calculating a circle’s perimeter via Fatrick’s flaccid length:

C = 6.6cm
D = C/π
π= 3.14159265359, round up to 3.14.

Apply this: D = 6.6/3.14 = 2.1cm
His perimeter is 2.1 cm = 0.8 inch, whilst the average is 2.8cm. Fat and small.

Radius: r = C/2π = 6.6/2*3.14 = 1,05096, round to 1,1cm.

Using a local calculator, we have the volume of his penis (if he could even cum):


Take this with a grain of salt because I use Randy Marsh’s erect penis math, as Fatrick’s TMI is:

(2.5Δ{0.8})/0.5 = 4 inch erected cock.

This is why your lives are already over, stlaker children. Enjoy sexless days in prison.

Fat.

 

[ParasiteSteve]

This is why your lives are already over, stlaker children. Enjoy sexless days in prison.

I will bow down (in jail, with the other stalkers) to your vast knowledge of penis. Truly a sage of the schlong.

 

[Dean Pentel]

Or it's Nick Rekieta thinking about Aaron. Did you know that Aaron ate his goo?

Now that we all know that, I'm hopeful that everyday someone somewhere will remind them both this happened.

if that's his arm, that's a huge ass bee

It probably is a larger bumblebee but one should remember Rick doesn't actually do any resistance training. He doesn't exercise at all. So his hypotrophic arms and the angle+distance the photo was taken, especially when compared to his very tumescent torso, make the bee seem much grander than it really is.

A shame he can't do similar with his writing career. Or his mathematically-proven small penis.

 

[TouchFluffyTail]

So his hypotrophic arms and the angle+distance the photo was taken, especially when compared to his very tumescent torso, make the bee seem much grander than it really is.
A shame he can't do similar with his writing career. Or his mathematically-proven small penis.

No stalker child, the forced perspective is just a figment of your imagination. This is a product of your clinical delusions. Enjoy properly-scaled objects.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

So what you're saying is that Patrick rolled low on his Manhood roll? We all knew that. Have you seen his Pathfinder 2nd Character sheet? He's a terrible player.

 

[Harambe]

if that's his arm, that's a huge ass bee

His arms are so withered!
I really wish he’d work out just a bit so he was less repulsive to look at for the purposes of making fun of him

It’s really hard to hate a fat person enough

 

[Your Starter for 10]

This is why math was invented. The holy trinity of Euler, Gauss and NaggotFigger. I wish I was back in college so I could write a master's thesis on this.

 

[Pill Cosby]

I hope Fattick becomes a honest valid woman so then we can all say he has a clitty.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I’m going to be autistic and be an Azn student for this case.

Finally, weaponized autism.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

lol this is just further confirmation that Patrick has zero self awareness. He’s at least as fat as the guy pictured and acts like he’s four times as tough as the guy quoted. I found this in the same scroll as his this machine kills fascists tweet lol. god loves patposters.

 

[Xev]

So which bp enjoyer is going to take one for the team and confirm the micro peen hypothesis?

 

[AltisticRight]

Case in point. Patrick just tweets out shit like this, as though he's the Terminator.

No, this machine eats fascists.
In fact, it eats way too much.
It's fat.

 

[Divine right to rule]

No, this machine eats fascists.
In fact, it eats way too much.
It's fat.

There are so few actual fascists in the world that all of them together would only be an afternoon snack for the devourer of darkies.

 

[NaggotFigger]

No, this machine eats fascists.
In fact, it eats way too much.
It's fat.

Not just fat. Titty Obese Class III, the highest level of fatty fatness from overeating way too much Nazi fascists.

 

[Irene and 22 others]

Not just fat. Obese Class III, the highest level of fatty fatness from overeating way too much Nazi fascists.

It doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but someone should update the jingle to "Titty Obese Class III" given this new information and the pictures showing that his neck has seemingly consumed his two chins.