Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Otterly]

She is very invested in trans shit, and in fact dated a trans woman

So she’s straight or bi. But not a lesbian. And clearly very confused and deep in the cult. Thus crazy, and thus dangerous.

She wants me to have a therapy session with her and her therapist to discuss gender and identity.

What? Why? Have you asked her why? ‘ You NEVER go to therapy with someone who is trying to do something you don’t want. Why? Because there will be an attempt to make you vulnerable or extract a viewpoint or concession from you and they will use it against you. That’s is why you don’t have couples therapy with an abusive partner.
No good can come of this. There is no possible good outcome of you going to this session. At the very best it’ll be extremely weird. At worst it’ll be abusive. Most likely it’ll be an odd, coercive situation where you’re struggle sessioned into committing to something you don’t believe and it’ll be used against you to make you do things you do not want to do. She sounds nuts.

Do any of my kiwisisters have any advice for me going into this shebang? What do I even say to her?

You don’t go into it. You say no. You won’t be doing it. You do not apologise for saying no. You do not justify the no. You do not explain the no. You just say no.
“That doesn’t work for me.”
This is a whole load of boundary crossing and has more red flags than a communist party convention,
@fist_of_khonshu what isalaide said. No good will come of this. Get rid of the perfume. Give it away or bin it. you are not a dispenser where present tokens get put in and sex comes out.
Both of you: do not apologise for saying no. Do not justify, apologise, defend or explain the ‘no.’ You are not in existence to validate people’s crazy thoughts on gender or as a prize for buying perfume.
If I could go back in time and teach myself a few lessons this would be one of them - that it’s not just Ok to say no, it’s necessary, and you don’t do it by tripping all over yourself to make the other person feel not bad if they’ve been crazy.

 

[The Chosen One]

Thanks for the suggestions.
My "friend" will take them into consideration

The head hair needs to be taken care of, the facial hair is a fucking travesty and needs to be shaved

Really?
He figured that as long as he kept it short and properly trimmed, it would be good enough. I guess not.
He fears would look too young and feminine without the facial hair, and women wouldn't take him seriously.

Since you've asked nothing about improving his personality, and only basic questions about his appearance, I'm going to assume he's a homo looking to attract a man.

Due to life circumstances he is in a new city where he doesn't know anyone, save a few acquaintances, and he feels he needs all the advantages he can get.
He has taken steps to meet women in real life, rather than dating apps, but it's been difficult and if he has to end up using the apps he needs to look his best

As for improving his personality:
He does not have any major personality issues or addictions, he is not a degenerate sex pest or autistic. He can be charismatic and talk to women and not sounding too much like a retard
However, this man is introverted (as in "I feel drained interacting with people", not as in "I'm shy and socially retarded").
As a result, he is not very good at structuring and communicating his ideas effectively, and mostly just stays silent, observing, during group conversations.
He is working on improving that, but unfortunately there is nobody who can help him this department, but himself

 

[Nameless One]

"He needs all the advantages he can get".
Very polite way of saying he only thinks about himself in a social setting. You should really try to step in and be a better friend to yourself, oh sorry, "him".
The first step in the process of becoming a greater man is finding out what's wrong with yourself and what's unfinished and underdeveloped, then applying yourself accordingly. You don't need a guru or random people online to be able to overcome your flaws you just need to be able to reflect and ask people who know you well.

Also drop the third person narration, it sounds weird. Long tldr is
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are" -Søren Kierkegaard

 

[The Chosen One]

"He needs all the advantages he can get".
Very polite way of saying he only thinks about himself in a social setting. You should really try to step in and be a better friend to yourself, oh sorry, "him".
The first step in the process of becoming a greater man is finding out what's wrong with you and what's unfinished and underdeveloped.

The guy is confident he can be in a serious long term relationship and work through problems and not be a retard
The problem is GETTING the relationship in the first place and he just wants to look the best he can
He doesn't have much experience in dating

 

[Nameless One]

If you have a hard time "GETTING" the relationship, and have a lack of experience in dating, how can you be confident in it? Hats off to you, but long relationships are very delicate and take a while to blossom. It won't be anything you may expect it to be if you find one. Looks can tell a story, but it is only the surface level. It's more about your emotional quotient, how you interact with people, particularly women. It's what you are not just what you look like or how you present yourself, believe me. Seems like you're just readying yourself for a colossal failure that you might not be able to recover from.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

He figured that as long as he kept it short and properly trimmed, it would be good enough. I guess not.
He fears would look too young and feminine without the facial hair, and women wouldn't take him seriously.

It's not full enough. It looks like mine if I don't shave for 3 days. If he wants a proper beard he should grow it out a bit and go to a barber.

He shouldn't worry to much how others perceive him. As long as he knows how to take care of himself and feels confident in his appearance he'll be OK. If a relationship is ment to happen, it will. Trying to force a relationship will make you miserable, which dating apps make even worse. If he wants to hook up, he can try his luck with dating apps, but expecting to "get" relationship is delusional / naive.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I once again come asking for advice, true genuine stuff. About my hair, again.

My ponytail keeps coming loose, my length reaches to the middle of my back, maybe lower, I haven't checked lately. But when I'm working the industrial fans keep blowing loose strands into my.face, and it's and it's to constsntly sweep my hair back or re do my ponytail.

Any advice Female kiwis?
If it helps a bit, I have native American in me, so my hair is naturally straight, soft and silky if that effects my ponytail

We literally had a discussion about keeping a man's sleek Native hair managed in a warehourse-type environment a year or mire ago - that you? I thought you went to jail, if so. But either way, search the thread.

For holding your hair in the pony, I think there were suggestions for coiled ponytail holders (probably by me, bc I'm a fan). And loop it a bunch so it's tight and doesn't slip down.

For the front pieces slipping out, use an elastic headband with rubber on the underside - make the pony, then you put the elastic circle over your head/ around your neckaround your neck (I'm not leading to a KF (tm) joke here) then pull the front part up past your face then on top of your head. Keeps all the flyaway and pieces that slip out of the pony from falling down over/into your face. Get the non-slip kind with rubber on the underside. There are also wider ones if you prefer. A lot of soccer players (men and women) wear some version of these for this exact purpose, so if they fit your head well, they should stay on through whatever work.



Could also use metal clips/barrettes

or Bobby pins.

Or one of those zig-zag plastic headbands:

A lot of Asian women wear them - so presumably they hold sleek, thick, straight hair back well. Have also seen these on soccerplayers.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Thanks for the suggestions.
My "friend" will take them into consideration


Really?
He figured that as long as he kept it short and properly trimmed, it would be good enough. I guess not.
He fears would look too young and feminine without the facial hair, and women wouldn't take him seriously.


Due to life circumstances he is in a new city where he doesn't know anyone, save a few acquaintances, and he feels he needs all the advantages he can get.
He has taken steps to meet women in real life, rather than dating apps, but it's been difficult and if he has to end up using the apps he needs to look his best

As for improving his personality:
He does not have any major personality issues or addictions, he is not a degenerate sex pest or autistic. He can be charismatic and talk to women and not sounding too much like a retard
However, this man is introverted (as in "I feel drained interacting with people", not as in "I'm shy and socially retarded").
As a result, he is not very good at structuring and communicating his ideas effectively, and mostly just stays silent, observing, during group conversations.
He is working on improving that, but unfortunately there is nobody who can help him this department, but himself

Why not have the hair down? A good shaping, keep it clean, use a little volumizer on top, dab of gel or mousse or whatever to hold the shape.

Search "men's shoulder-length hairstyles" and look at some long cuts with layers - often referred to as "bro flow" or "effortless flow" hairstyles. Work well with wavy hair shoulder or a bit above.

 

[Thé au lait]

Really?
He figured that as long as he kept it short and properly trimmed, it would be good enough. I guess not.
He fears would look too young and feminine without the facial hair, and women wouldn't take him seriously.

Okay I hate to steal Hub's thunder but are you certain it's women he's trying to attract?

However, this man is introverted (as in "I feel drained interacting with people", not as in "I'm shy and socially retarded").
As a result, he is not very good at structuring and communicating his ideas effectively, and mostly just stays silent, observing, during group conversations.

>not socially retarded
>can't communicate well, just sits there and "observes" during conversations
Is your friend absolutely certain he's not socially retarded?

I thought you went to jail, if so.

I missed some good lore, didn't I?

ETA: Even better, it's this guy:

I'm not actually autistic, but I am incredibly dense and a bit stupid.

Most of my past relationships have been women being in my room, and going, "You know this is what couples do right? We're dating", and me replying, "Oh".

I once invited a girl to my room, and I guess she thought she was gonna get lucky, but instead I showed off a rare video game collection I had stashed away in my drawers

Godsneed you massive autismo

 

[Devious Dave]

The more I transition into a full blown oldfag the harder the refractory period clarity hits and lasts.

I swear women can sense this and will prod more and more during this time.

How do I hide this better? Recycling? Just fake the O and live in the "semen retention" space that the gymbros swear by? Would you find it odd?

What are you smoking unc

 

[msd]

We literally had a discussion about keeping a man's sleek Native hair managed in a warehourse-type environment a year or mire ago - that you? I thought you went to jail, if so. But either way, search the thread.

For holding your hair in the pony, I think there were suggestions for coiled ponytail holders (probably by me, bc I'm a fan). And loop it a bunch so it's tight and doesn't slip down.

For the front pieces slipping out, use an elastic headband with rubber on the underside - make the pony, then you put the elastic circle over your head/ around your neckaround your neck (I'm not leading to a KF (tm) joke here) then pull the front part up past your face then on top of your head. Keeps all the flyaway and pieces that slip out of the pony from falling down over/into your face. Get the non-slip kind with rubber on the underside. There are also wider ones if you prefer. A lot of soccer players (men and women) wear some version of these for this exact purpose, so if they fit your head well, they should stay on through whatever work.

Wyświetl załącznik 7147469

Could also use metal clips/barrettes
Wyświetl załącznik 7147482
or Bobby pins.

Or one of those zig-zag plastic headbands:
Wyświetl załącznik 7147488
A lot of Asian women wear them - so presumably they hold sleek, thick, straight hair back well. Have also seen these on soccerplayers.

it was literally me, I did not go to jail, just been busy. as always thank you for the advice!

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

Women, I need fashion advice.
Asking for a friend who needs help in his love quest

Ponder the pictures below and tell me if this man looks like a complete retard that should go to a barber, or if this is fine
If the former, please provide suggestions

Spoiler: 2 hairstyles that are easy to maintain, but might not be fashionable enough

Wyświetl załącznik 7145476

You know, there's ways to depixelate images.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

it was literally me, I did not go to jail, just been busy. as always thank you for the advice!

What are the chances . Kind of cool ngl.

You know, there's ways to depixelate images.

Isn't it just a rough AI approximation?

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

Isn't it just a rough AI approximation?

Yeah but it can be good enough to be identifiable. It's really dumb to post pictures of yourself even if you've censored them anyway cause you always run the risk of something in the background you didn't notice giving your position away.

 

[NoReturn]

Women, I need fashion advice.
Asking for a friend who needs help in his love quest

Ponder the pictures below and tell me if this man looks like a complete retard that should go to a barber, or if this is fine
If the former, please provide suggestions

Spoiler: 2 hairstyles that are easy to maintain, but might not be fashionable enough

Wyświetl załącznik 7145476

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA2jQ0_UazU

The head hair needs to be taken care of, the facial hair is a fucking travesty and needs to be shaved

Shaved or grown out. It cannot be allowed to exist in its current state.

I once again come asking for advice, true genuine stuff. About my hair, again.

My ponytail keeps coming loose, my length reaches to the middle of my back, maybe lower, I haven't checked lately. But when I'm working the industrial fans keep blowing loose strands into my.face, and it's and it's to constsntly sweep my hair back or re do my ponytail.

Any advice Female kiwis?
If it helps a bit, I have native American in me, so my hair is naturally straight, soft and silky if that effects my ponytail

What kind of ties are you using? Because I'm seconding @Friend of Dorothy Parker's comments.
Also, if you're native, braid it you big dummy. There's a reason why your people do it, it's not just fashion.

 

[The Chosen One]

If you have a hard time "GETTING" the relationship, and have a lack of experience in dating, how can you be confident in it?

I've been in a relationship with a difficult girl before (she had a bad childhood)
We worked through her issues, she improved.
I learned how not to be a socially retarded manchild and how behave around women. I think I did a devent job there.
Didn't work out in the end, due to different life goals, but we are still on friendly terms.
I feel like if I could deal with that, I can deal with most things.

My problem is: women are usually the ones who approach me and not the other way around
I have no idea why. I don't think I look like a Chad, so I assume it's due to my personality or just luck.
I'm working towards changing myself, so I can be the one doing the approaching, so I figured that if I look the best I can, and that doesn't work, I would know what to work on next

It's not full enough. It looks like mine if I don't shave for 3 days. If he wants a proper beard he should grow it out a bit and go to a barber.

I trimmed it VERY short
Guess I could have done a better job
I will think about it

Why not have the hair down? A good shaping, keep it clean, use a little volumizer on top, dab of gel or mousse or whatever to hold the shape.

This is a Covid hair that got me compliments, so I kept it
But I have no idea of what I'm doing though
Will read more about this and maybe go to a salon or something
Thanks for the advice

Okay I hate to steal Hub's thunder but are you certain it's women he's trying to attract?

I've been asked before if I use lipstick (I dont!)
I just wanted to look more masculine and for people to not think I'm trying to troon out

Is your friend absolutely certain he's not socially retarded?

Ok, maybe a little bit. But I'm working on it !
I've seen WAY worse, and at least I am good at picking up on social cues (I think)

 

[msd]

What are the chances . Kind of cool ngl.

Usually the advice you girls give me i try to follow to the letter.

I get alot of compliments from both women, and very openly gay men since I took the hair care advice.

Its nice

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

Usually the advice you girls give me i try to follow to the letter.

I get alot of compliments from both women, and very openly gay men since I took the hair care advice.

Its nice

I also got compliments when I still had them long! Always really enjoyed it too. Just take care of it, and get regular cuts. Also don't forget to condition it! And like I said before, just take care of yourself and don't do it to impress others. Have fun with it

 

[msd]

Also, if you're native, braid it you big dummy. There's a reason why your people do it, it's not just fashion.

I dont know how to do braids, my ex used to braid it, but I never paid attention, I regret such a decision.

I also got compliments when I still had them long! Always really enjoyed it too. Just take care of it, and get regular cuts. Also don't forget to condition it! And like I said before, just take care of yourself and don't do it to impress others. Have fun with it

I do! I condition and wash everyday since I basically work in a grime filled warehouse.

As for cuts, I haven't cut my hair in about 2 years now, I should really get it cut before it reaches my lower back, I measured again and it's past the middle of my back.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

As for cuts, I haven't cut my hair in about 2 years now, I should really get it cut before it reaches my lower back, I measured again and it's past the middle of my back.

Bro, you need to. Your hairs will split at the tips and if don't. And you can see that from miles away.