My heart has never been so broken when I try to date as a gay conservative or see stupid woke shit in multimedia or on the news, I feel sick.
My eye twitches, I feel a numb tingle down my brain to my spine trying to shield me from disappointment. I want reality to stop being so fucking retarded to put it simply.
I can deal with the PTSD I have from surviving my father's domestic violence and abuse, working in a haunted looney bin, and serving with retards in the military during the coof...
But holy shit I can't even get laid by someone "normal" now let alone have successful dates.
So not only do I have to sift through incompatible faggots, but the trannies and mentally ill AFAB women who have invaded gay dating spaces, along with their chasers too.
I've only ever had two boyfriends, who I met in 2015 and 2017. It was not as difficult to meet a normal guy back then even though it was post-gamergate. Post-covid it got worse.
I clung so hard to both of them, but we had incompatibilities and joint failures for various reasons. As bad as it sometimes got, I'm glad we are all relatively normal and masculine men.
I don't know why so many gay men refuse to take care of themselves. Everyone in my dating space seems to be an effeminate, low IQ, deranged, unhygienic, diseased, and/or drug addled freak.
Hell, even before I got on testosterone replacement therapy, I was pretty beefy and kept clean skin. TRT is one thing I needed badly a long time ago. It's helped me become more manly and I'm a pretty muscular bodybuilder now.
The VA wouldn't help me with my low testosterone, so I had to go to a private clinic for it. But if I asked for Titty Skittles they'd give that to me like free candy.
I have a straight best friend who's been teaching me a lot of man stuff that my dad failed me on this year. Like how to work tools, fish, hunt better, how to be a dad, etc.
Sometimes I'm suspicious of him, and that's not just me making up a fantasy in my head, red flags and all, but the brotherhood is great and I wouldn't want to ever ruin that with a romantic relationship.
I hope my 2nd ex will rescue me from the freak show or I find someone who checks off my boxes.