💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[a terminal posture]

Guess who’s making beer courtesy of @SpikeBrewing

'I'm going to brew beer and not drink it and bake cookies and not eat them and order fried okra and not eat it, MOM'

 

[eatler]

Guess who’s making beer courtesy of @SpikeBrewing

'I'm going to brew beer and not drink it and bake cookies and not eat them and order fried okra and not eat it, MOM'

don't forget freeze dry foods, I don't think he really ate anything besides the tacos and maybe the peeps if he snuck it past us.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Guess who’s making beer courtesy of @SpikeBrewing

'I'm going to brew beer and not drink it and bake cookies and not eat them and order fried okra and not eat it, MOM'

A guy that doesn't drink... is making beer. And of course Spike Brewing "sent" him these things to test out.

What the hell is going to do? Make the beer, bottle it, condition and age it, then not taste it and say, "it's gud"?

 

[Sonic T]

Let me guess, even fucking beer is carnivore now?? Thanks MOM!

Can we agree that this is the first thing Jack has ever been right about?

Edit: I was technically late on this

 

[AltisticRight]

Wyświetl załącznik 5828467
Let me guess, even fucking beer is carnivore now?? Thanks MOM!

Wyświetl załącznik 5828469
Can we agree that this is the first thing Jack has ever been right about?

Edit: I was technically late on this

This just illustrates how disconnected some of these brands are with reality. They see Jack as one of the OG "YouTube chefs" and sends him free stuff. He doesn't care about the product and often fails to even read the manual. They're all suckers sending him free toys that he'll use once and stash away forever.

 

[Dead Air]

Ohhhhh no. Jack brewing beer is a recipe for disaster. A process that requires clean, sanitized equipment and no cross contamination or else you get skunky and/or poison is going to be disastrous. Not to mention the patience required in brewing in general. I hope they have a retard proof kit. Maybe that's why they sent it to him - for retard testing.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

What kind of bizarre sanitary tub moonshine will he come up with? Bratwurst-basted beer?

 

[Super Hans v2]

This just illustrates how disconnected some of these brands are with reality. They see Jack as one of the OG "YouTube chefs" and sends him free stuff. He doesn't care about the product and often fails to even read the manual. They're all suckers sending him free toys that he'll use once and stash away forever.

Not that I'm an overpaid marketing exec or anything, but I would think that the first thing they'd look at his viewer to sub ratio, and second his comment section. It'd take all of 30 seconds to figure out that sending him even a brochure would be pissing money away.

And I hope for their sake that they gave him the brewing kit on loan. Spike's beginner kits go for $2700.

 

[Andoxico]

 

[Gulls on Film]

Wyświetl załącznik 5828467
Let me guess, even fucking beer is carnivore now?? Thanks MOM!

Wyświetl załącznik 5828469
Can we agree that this is the first thing Jack has ever been right about?

Edit: I was technically late on this

I hope this is the start of a 'KingCobra Homemade Mead' saga.

"This new batch of mead has chuck roast and peeps. Yes, it's carnivore MOM, because the peeps will dissolve. SUGA is only bad if you eat it as a solid."

 

[AnOminous]

And Thanksgiving is a big deal meaning he had freshly roasted turkey with all the trimmings. Why the fuck would he want some of Fatty's freeze dried shit?

And if you were in the field or somewhere without a kitchen, you'd still probably have a bunch of these available:

Jack wearing his cap backwards still annoys the hell out of me.

Anyone who does that over the age of, say, 12, should be beaten to death with a crowbar.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Which didn't make sense because soldiers, on base, are well fed and taken care of. And Thanksgiving is a big deal meaning he had freshly roasted turkey with all the trimmings. Why the fuck would he want some of Fatty's freeze dried shit?

This would require Jack to have an informed opinion of how the military feeds the troops, rather than an opinion based on films where they eat MRE's because thats what the 22 year old California writer thinks the military does.

 

[AltisticRight]

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That's a lot of numbers instead of FAT.

 

[lindsayfan]

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I'm getting my own stroke trying to read this new mug of his.

GET THESE HANDPRINT

why would you bother glancing more than once at the wording on a piece of merchandise that's going to represent your brand, and for which you're asking money? jack's too BUSY for all that-- just slap some illiterate bullshit into the tard-proof merch template and onto the site it goes!

looking at those horrific older freezedry videos, i must've missed the era when his sassily effeminate unlicensed bitmoji had a big thick ring of cum around its dickhatch

 

[AnOminous]

Memories of my child

Which child? The one he tried to strangle to death?

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

 

[eatler]

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Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

I can’t wait for gilf mugs “god I love food”

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Wyświetl załącznik 5828695

Fucking weight is still the same and has been for a month now.

BP is sky high.

And he's lying about his sugar.

And if you were in the field or somewhere without a kitchen, you'd still probably have a bunch of these available:

I didn't know they made Thanksgiving MREs. Still gotta be better than whatever Fatty sent.

Wyświetl załącznik 5830529Wyświetl załącznik 5830530
Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

OH! He's being clever! Or... at least thinking he's being clever.

 

[eatler]

And he's lying about his sugar.

Inconceivable! He wouldn’t snack on a bunch of peeps we know he’s better than that!

 

[Mundane Ralph]

BP is sky high

Not just that but his pulse pressure of 88mmHg is very high. When it gets to 50+ it greatly increases your chances of having various heart issues and if you've got diabetes, which Jack does, it can cause eye and kidney damage.