💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Ihatejackscalfani]

That comment made me laugh.

It does indeed look like shit, Jack.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What he should have been praying for was the strength to work through physical therapy, the willpower to change his diet and exercise, and the love and support of his family every step of the way, then got busy improving himself. Instead, he gorges on obscene quantities of meat and cheese after five fucking strokes and angrily yells at all da hadurz that tell him he's eating himself to death, all while pretending to be a "gud christian." Suffice it to say, Jack gets it so very, very wrong.

So maybe I could have worded it better but this is more or less what I was thinking. But as I said I've heard that phrase from self-professed Christians so figured it was somewhere in the footnotes of the bible like you read this parable and this is what it boils down to. Kinda like Catechism or Bible Cliff Notes. But then I'm not a bible sperg so what do I know?

And yet somehow, Fatty has still once again failed to melt a slice of cheese on top of a hamburger patty three times in one go. You'd think he might have accidentally got the cheese to melt once... nope.

I've never understood his desire to eat cold cheese on a cheeseburger. The texture is just weird. This is why everywhere you go they take the cheese and melt it on the patty before sticking it on the bun.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?

Fuck

I think my LDL just went up 300 points just by looking at this photo

 

[semitooth]

been looking forward to this one

 

[Tiresome]

Oh my god. Right from the start, Jack doesn't get it. He absolutely does not get it. I love this.

"This is my buddy Rob. Please, show him some love, be nice." Jack, like CWC, thinks trolls just happen, like people staring when you're half blind, half-crippled and stuffing MEET down your throat. Jack baby, Rob is in no danger of being trolled.

Rob, for his part, picked the most hilariously perfectly named restaurant, Hungry Jack's, Australia's answer to Burger King, and from Patti's cheery pointing I can only imagine the delightful Mrs. Rob is fully in on the whole deal. Rob uses Jack's own puerile, childish, lizard-brain criteria, making sure to add in at the end how SPENSIVE everything is, but since Rob and Patti aren't white trash grifters, they can afford overseas vacations AND to buy a whole hamburger without whining about the cost.

Rob makes sure to ask Patti what the food item is he purchased 2 minutes before and mentioned only seconds before. Patti happily obliges. Everybody needs a Patti.

Rob does NOT do the tongue-extend nor the sideways bite, and that is because he was NOT raised like a fucking animal. He does however mention how huge Jack insists his bites are and does so, making sure to get some on his face. Then does a very credible imitation of the Jackian retard-staring-at-the-sky "thoughtful" flavor judgment look, when we all know Jack only does it because he's trying desperately to detect flavor, any flavor. Capping it off with his eloquent and detailed pronouncement: "Gud."

Then in the outro, realizes he should really give us the taco bite to get the MEET first. Weird little Australian bird steals some lettuce, and Jack proclaims Rob's video REALLY GUD.

I hope Jack has learned a little something from all this. That being, what it's like when your wife of many years is actually happy to be in your presence. Have a nice day, lardass.

 

[p1138]

Rob does NOT do the tongue-extend nor the sideways bite, and that is because he was NOT raised like a fucking animal.

Sounds like someone didn't watch the bloopers at the end lol

edit: ah nvm I'm dumb, didn't read the end of your post.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Cant wait for Jack to start seething when he realizes this feature with Rob will be the most liked video he would have put out in a long time with positive comments.

 

[AbyssDweller]

Jack's descent into his Q-anon boomerschizo arc is in full swing. Remember: The government doesn't want you to know that the cure for critically high-blood pressure is gobbling down absurd quantities of red meat and shredded cheese shaped into horrifying culinary chimeras

I wonder if he'll continue his flight from Orange County, CA Murfreesboro, TN the middle of nowhere, unincorporated rural Tennessee due to it becoming too libtarded by relocating Hammy & Co to Moscow, a city well known for its hatred of socialism and love of personal freedoms. I have to admit that it would be hilarious to see Jack driving his scootypuff around Red Square as bewildered Russians stare at this bizarre, orb-shaped American mutt like he's some sort of sideshow

 

[Bassomatic]

At first I thought yes even Jack got in on the trolling, nope he's that dumb he'll eat a triple bacon burger that's probably as tall as Warwick Davis (and weighs same) and think he's healthy.

Rob on the go is KINO, when he put his head back I was sitting on couch watching on my phone next to Mrs and yelled YOU DID NOT! Fucking perfect. Fuck movies rob needs an Emmy.

Sadly fatty is almost broken clock syndrome with this interview thing. It's almost like people forget what reporters do for a living... No one minded when Charles Manson got interviewed. Sadly Jack can't get the thought of it this deep and it's just retarded boomer sperging.

Have another bug her with extra cheese fatty. Anderson Cooper with a 8 year old dick in his mouth couldn't cope as hard as you do with poorly cooked meat.

 

[Blasterisk]

In the latest F as in Frank, Jack claims that humanity is approximately 2,000 years old.

This implies that Jesus was born 24 years before there was a mother to carry him to term, a twist on interpreting 1 Peter 1:20 that even the most astute Bible scholars never saw coming. Given that Jack also showed us that the book of Isaiah has prophecies in it (he learned this after the seventh time reading it) I think we should keep a close eye on him for other theological treatises, essays and revelations.

Otherwise, I think Charles is a Californian who is slowly learning to think for himself, and even if his fad diet is strange I can respect his goals of self-improvement.
Clearly the superior Scalfani by far.

 

[Point Emerging]

been looking forward to this one
https://youtube.com/watch?v=O5LO35XND28

I was so excited to come home to this, and my sides have never hurt more.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

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what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

 

[Bassomatic]

what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

Jack doesn't remember what he had for lunch DURING lunch. Do you think he remembers duck and cover drills or McCarthy era?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

been looking forward to this one
https://youtube.com/watch?v=O5LO35XND28

Rob is such a magnificent bastard. You can't help but love how he's trolling Fatty. Asking his wife what he just ordered, looking up and pondering how it is before saying, "Gud". And the bonus is Patti is in on the joke.

The only thing that was missing was he didn't tongue fuck the burger first. Beyond that, top marks.

what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

Ever since Trump got to be besties with Putin a lot of folk on the right have been saying good things about Russia.

 

[Super Hans v2]

In the latest F as in Frank, Jack claims that humanity is approximately 2,000 years old.
Your browser is not able to display this video.
This implies that Jesus was born 24 years before there was a mother to carry him to term, a twist on interpreting 1 Peter 1:20 that even the most astute Bible scholars never saw coming. Given that Jack also showed us that the book of Isaiah has prophecies in it (he learned this after the seventh time reading it) I think we should keep a close eye on him for other theological treatises, essays and revelations.

Otherwise, I think Charles is a Californian who is slowly learning to think for himself, and even if his fad diet is strange I can respect his goals of self-improvement.
Clearly the superior Scalfani by far.

Don't even the most hardline fundies say about 5000 years? Does Jack think that Adam all the way through Joseph are a Jewish conspiracy? Why am I trying to deduce the off-hand comments of a retard?

 

[TheMovieGuy]

Don't even the most hardline fundies say about 5000 years? Does Jack think that Adam all the way through Joseph are a Jewish conspiracy? Why am I trying to deduce the off-hand comments of a retard?

Creationists say approximately 6000 years.
Probably, his brain is melted.
Maybe your brain is melted too. Maybe mine is. Maybe all our brains are.

 

[Pig Cups]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
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As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?
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Fuck

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So he basically made the autistic, bastard relative of KFC’s Double Down, but it manages to be eons shittier?


Also, it looks like he’s living in a garbage pile. Utterly depressing.

Fuck, I wouldn't even let a pig eat that thing.

Years ago, I briefly worked in a residential facility for severely developmentally disabled folks. The leftovers from dining service were placed into buckets to be given to the pigs at a neighboring farm. Most of those pig bucket leftovers looked pretty gnarly, but are unexcelled haute cuisine when compared to that pile of afterbirth Jack assembled.

I've never understood his desire to eat cold cheese on a cheeseburger. The texture is just weird. This is why everywhere you go they take the cheese and melt it on the patty before sticking it on the bun.

It’s like the McDLT. Putting the cheese on the cold side was one of the Golden Arches’ dumbest conceptual failures. Not hard to see why this thing was short-lived.


Jack’s fucked creation actually makes the McDLT (with its yucky L and T) look marginally healthier. I’m actually shocked. What the everloving fuck is wrong with him?

 

[This Post Is Satire]

Just in case anyone shares my particular type of Geoguessr autism, he bought the burger from the Circular Quay Hungry Jacks, then took a walk down Macquarie Place to the Jessie Street Gardens to dissect his lunch.

All considered, a strange choice because if he walked in the opposite direction he could have had lunch with a view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge instead.

But then again, a sub-optimal decision is pretty on brand for Jack so maybe its just a chefs kiss piece of satire.

 

[AnOminous]

It’s like the McDLT. Putting the cheese on the cold side was one of the Golden Arches’ dumbest conceptual failures. Not hard to see why this thing was short-lived.

The concept was you were supposed to assemble the sandwich later. So it was more like an actual BLT. Turns out people who eat at McDonald's want to eat MEAT GUD now, not assemble shit. It wasn't actually that bad but leaving the cheese out would have been better. I don't want to eat hot lettuce but I also don't want to eat cold clammy cheese with lettuce water on it. They have a bad record of bringing out dishes that flop because they need some weird packaging.

 

[p1138]

But then again, a sub-optimal decision is pretty on brand for Jack so maybe its just a chefs kiss piece of satire.

Considering he went out of his way to eat part of a fucking whopper from BK on his international vacation of all things, just to fuck with Fatty, I'm going to assume it was intentional to avoid showing doing or looking at anything potentially interesting. Going somewhere and sticking to the local mall seems about on par for what we might expect out of Fatty. The background noise, the random people, it's just like how Fatty would do it.

The concept was you were supposed to assemble the sandwich later. So it was more like an actual BLT. Turns out people who eat at McDonald's want to eat MEAT GUD now, not assemble shit. It wasn't actually that bad but leaving the cheese out would have been better. I don't want to eat hot lettuce but I also don't want to eat cold clammy cheese with lettuce water on it. They have a bad record of bringing out dishes that flop because they need some weird packaging.

I assumed it flopped because it was just too damn absurd. It's a waste of packaging, needed a bigger bag, and yeah the lack of melted cheese is just... weird. That said, I have seen weirdos who like that cold clammy slice of cheese on a burger. This idiot even mentions it as if it's some sort of bonus

I understand what american cheese is, and there are some things it works on because of how it's processed, like melting over a burger patty. Cold american cheese is fucking disgusting.