💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[This Machine Milks Cows]

I created an account to vote for Pat in the Julays and I think that he really deserved the win and Balldo-man benefited greatly from a perfectly timed final sprint. Fatrick has provided incredible laughs consistently throughout the year. He is my Lolcow of the Year of Hearts.

He really is a perfect all-rounder (he is really fat). He provides everything, funny and predictable takes, he says absolutely ludicrous things, he gets into pointless arguments at a moment's notice, he introduces new cows, he has hilarious trolls, he looks really weird, he gives good physical comedy and he starts utterly retarded lawsuits. He just does everything. He also never makes me angry or upset, he is just consistently hilarious in everything he does.

I just want to say that Patrick is really fat. Bulbous. Bloated. Grotesque. Adipose. Berr-bellied. Flabby. He is a lolcow magnificent in his girth. What I want to say is that he is fat.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Now a patrick podcast has been mentioned, it seems funny he hasn't tried it before.

I mean he's a narcissistic, self appointed expert on everything, he's fat, and he is desperate to be famous. It seems obvious.

Fat Rick could never do a podcast. He'd try but as soon as he did he'd get a plethora of trolls tweeting at him, forcing him to stop and tweet his patented "No stalker-child, enjoy prison" at every single one of them.

 

[Meat Target]

Fat Rick could never do a podcast. He'd try but as soon as he did he'd get a plethora of trolls tweeting at him, forcing him to stop and tweet his patented "No stalker-child, enjoy prison" at every single one of them.

Dan gave him multiple invitations to come onto Nice Podcast, Stupid. He was met with childing and prison.

 

[breadandcircuses]

Pat doing a shitty podcast on his imagination and/or writing guide and/or just spitnalling ideas with Thikki boosted by 90 minutes of Radio Graffiti style griefing would be, dare I say, kino.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

Your 2023 is already over, stalker children. You have been instructed hundreds of times to have a Happy New Year

Anyhow, in regards to the shower beer tweet some pages back, I was perplexed as to why college kids would be horrified by the idea - that sort of thing is right in their wheelhouse. Then it hit me: a shower beer is absolutely divine as a rare treat, after a long, hard day of work. Something Fatrick has never experienced and thus, never earned.

I too am saddened by the lolcow of the year upset, having figured it was Man of Pig's year, so I hope this haiku will help console us all.

Having his best year
Oopsie doodles stalker child
Fatrick lost again

NEXT YEAR IS OURS

 

[The Taco Santo!]

I think it's simple enough: in Pat's short Community College career, no one ever socialized with him. Imagine being in College, and the stalker childs never inviting you to a single party, or drinking session post-exams? That's Fatrick's life, what a dud he is and always has been. His alcoholism didn't flare up in college. He's never witnessed drunk college hijinks, and it probably baffles him. His drnking now is 'Sad middle-aged nursing a beer, alone, mid-day in a bar', after all. I bet back then it was just plowing through a case, alone, in his room.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

Now a patrick podcast has been mentioned, it seems funny he hasn't tried it before.

I mean he's a narcissistic, self appointed expert on everything, he's fat, and he is desperate to be famous. It seems obvious.

Same reason he didn’t debate Ben Shapiro. Patrick, strangely enough, because he is so oblivious in all other areas, seems to know that he cannot handle anything extemporaneous. He needs rigid controls and a sympathetic audience, like he had for the summer ‘23 media tour (in which he still managed to say a lot of contradictory things and also outright lie). He’s also extremely lazy and knows the pests would light him up if he were to miss a scheduled episode (which would happen week 2).

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

He needs rigid controls and a sympathetic audience, like he had for the summer ‘23 media tour (in which he still managed to say a lot of contradictory things and also outright lie)

100% this. When 1 podcast over his media tour decided to hear the other side, he went completely off the rails and made plenty of new patposters. Jennifer can't deal with any public scrutiny

 

[An automatic clown]

Dan tried getting him on Nice Podcast, Stupid again. Predictable reply

 

[RussianParasite]

Anyhow, in regards to the shower beer tweet some pages back, I was perplexed as to why college kids would be horrified by the idea - that sort of thing is right in their wheelhouse.

They wouldn’t be, because this of course didn’t happen. Jennifer is a fat disgusting liar, and so pathetic at the age of over 40 that she’d still want to be viewed as “cool” by people barely in their 20s. College students are typically (hopefully) at their peak of degenerate drinking. This is just the drinking habits of a middle-aged loser.

 

[Sawamura Simp]

3 hours ago:
-Alright; what better way to forget the Big Fat Stolen 2023 Election
than to replay this 2012 game I liked but never fini--

Fucking hell.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

3 hours ago:
-Alright; what better way to forget the Big Fat Stolen 2023 Election
than to replay this 2012 game I liked but never fini--

Wyświetl załącznik 5604832

Fucking hell.

So who is going to do a Pat run in an RPG?

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Im.a bit disappointed our prize pig didn't get the blue rubbon but at the same it's fitting that even in the one contest where he should have been a shoo-in, the idiot couldn't get a win.

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

So who is going to do a Pat run in an RPG?

Fallout New Vegas.

Low strength, perception is fine, max endurance (he's ceaseless in his xeeting), charisma is 1, int is (1.)2, low agility, I'd say higher luck given he has yet to truly suffer from pissing off the wrong person.

Primarily use guns and you HAVE to use fists or a knife when close, no point blank shots you're a real tough man with 10 strength not 2 stalker child. Any NPC conversation where you can be an asshole you can, if they say something insulting and there is an aggressive response you MUST pick it.

Specialize in survival to get that one perk (thems good eats I think it's called) where enemies drop/turn into blood sausage.

Is Pat an NCR guy? No probably a takeover ending because he's got an ego and he's the only guy to run New Vegas stalker child.

 

[AnOminous]

Patrick is an utter mongoloid. Geologically speaking.

For a change he's actually generally right, even if there was a recent exception.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Fallout New Vegas.

Low strength, perception is fine, max endurance (he's ceaseless in his xeeting), charisma is 1, int is (1.)2, low agility, I'd say higher luck given he has yet to truly suffer from pissing off the wrong person.

Primarily use guns and you HAVE to use fists or a knife when close, no point blank shots you're a real tough man with 10 strength not 2 stalker child. Any NPC conversation where you can be an asshole you can, if they say something insulting and there is an aggressive response you MUST pick it.

Specialize in survival to get that one perk (thems good eats I think it's called) where enemies drop/turn into blood sausage.

Is Pat an NCR guy? No probably a takeover ending because he's got an ego and he's the only guy to run New Vegas stalker child.

Independent Ending fits his ODD, but he remains friendly with the NCR because of the Democrat senators back in California.

But you won't have to worry about that, because the true Pat Ending (TM) is getting stuck trying to punch your way through Junction Quarry or the Cazador Hill. "NoOoOoOo child, I do noT need to lisTen to your signs. I'm a professionally publisher authored, little baby child. I can go where I want!" 100% of the time, if you present Pat with a long path that's safe and two quick paths that are impassable, he will waste an infinite amount of time, resources and his own safety to try to "win" over you by picking the short ones.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

It's over Patbros....felted by druggies/alcoholics yet again. On the bright side this at least this means that Boremanjack is also cucked out of the title.

Happy New Year just the same! When is the last time we've gotten confetti?

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

So who is going to do a Pat run in an RPG?

@Null bring back the gaming streams. I got an idea...

 

[*distant thrum*]

Have any of the xitter dwellers linked Pat/Jackie Null's talk with Benny Boyce? It'd be pretty funny to see piggy slap fight with Benjamin for a bit but I'd be extra interested in what tru and honest l33t hax0r Jackie would do with the hard truths Josh talks about.

 

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Punkrick S. Rockerson