💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • April-May 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • June-July 2024

    Głosy: 17 1,1%
  • August-September 2024

    Głosy: 34 2,1%
  • October-November 2024

    Głosy: 37 2,3%
  • December 2024

    Głosy: 44 2,8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Głosy: 256 16,1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Głosy: 261 16,4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Głosy: 930 58,5%

  • Łączna liczba głosujących
    1 591
The only way Jack 'Ovenmelter' Scalfani could be more on-brand is if he had a recipe that's just the number to an out-of-business takeaway.

You really don't want to be in a situation where ChatGPT comes up with better written, better sounding and less lethal versions of your 'signature' recipes.

Ingredients:
- 1 pound ground meat (e.g., beef, turkey, or chicken)
- 1 can condensed soup (e.g., cream of mushroom, cream of chicken, or tomato)
- 1 package frozen mixed vegetables
- 1 package frozen tater tots or hash browns
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Optional: shredded cheese for topping

Instructions:
1. Preheat your oven to the temperature specified on the package of frozen tater tots or hash browns.
2. In a large skillet, cook the ground meat over medium heat until it is browned and cooked through. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
3. Drain any excess fat from the skillet, then stir in the condensed soup and frozen mixed vegetables. Mix well.
4. Transfer the meat and vegetable mixture to a casserole dish and spread it out evenly.

Ingredients:
- 1 pre-made pizza crust (store-bought or pre-made dough)
- 1/2 cup pizza sauce
- 1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
- Toppings of your choice (e.g., pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, olives, etc.)

Instructions:
1. Preheat your oven to the temperature specified on the pre-made pizza crust or dough package.
2. Place the pizza crust on a baking sheet or pizza stone.
3. Spread the pizza sauce evenly over the crust, leaving a small border around the edges.
4. Sprinkle the shredded mozzarella cheese evenly over the sauce.
5. Add your desired toppings, such as pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, olives, or any other ingredients you like.
6. Place the pizza in the preheated oven and bake according to the time and temperature instructions on the pre-made crust or dough package, or until the cheese is melted and bubbly, and the crust is golden brown.
7. Remove the pizza from the oven and let it cool for a few minutes before slicing and serving.
8. Enjoy your lazy man's pizza!

Note: You can also experiment with different types of cheeses, sauces, and toppings to suit your taste. Feel free to get creative and have fun with it!

Ingredients:
- 1 can condensed soup of your choice (e.g., tomato, chicken noodle, vegetable, or minestrone)
- 1 can mixed vegetables, drained
- 1 can beans of your choice, drained and rinsed (e.g., kidney beans, black beans, or chickpeas)
- Optional: cooked meat (e.g., shredded chicken, ground beef, or diced ham)
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Optional: herbs or spices for added flavor (e.g., parsley, thyme, or garlic powder)

Instructions:
1. In a large pot, combine the condensed soup, mixed vegetables, beans, and any optional cooked meat.
2. Stir well to combine all the ingredients.
3. Add salt, pepper, and any herbs or spices you prefer to season the soup to your taste.
4. Place the pot over medium heat and bring the soup to a simmer.
5. Let the soup simmer for about 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking.
6. Taste the soup and adjust the seasoning if needed.
7. Once the soup is heated through and the flavors have melded together, it is ready to be served.
8. Ladle the soup into bowls and enjoy your lazy man's soup!

Note: Feel free to add other ingredients like cooked pasta, rice, or additional vegetables to customize the soup according to your preferences. You can also serve the soup with crusty bread or crackers for a complete meal.

Ingredients:
- 1 can sweetened condensed milk
- 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Optional: chopped nuts, sprinkles, or any other desired toppings

Instructions:
1. Line an 8x8 inch baking dish with parchment paper or aluminum foil, leaving some overhang on the sides for easy removal of the fudge.
2. In a microwave-safe bowl, combine the sweetened condensed milk and chocolate chips.
3. Microwave the mixture on high for 30-second intervals, stirring well after each interval until the chocolate chips are completely melted and the mixture is smooth.
4. Stir in the vanilla extract until well combined.
5. Pour the fudge mixture into the prepared baking dish and spread it out evenly.
6. If desired, sprinkle chopped nuts, sprinkles, or any other toppings on top of the fudge and press them lightly into the surface.
7. Place the baking dish in the refrigerator and let the fudge chill for at least 2 hours, or until it is firm and set.
8. Once the fudge is set, remove it from the refrigerator and lift it out of the baking dish using the overhanging parchment paper or foil.
9. Cut the fudge into small squares or rectangles.
10. Serve and enjoy your lazy man's fudge!

Note: You can get creative with this recipe by adding different flavors or mix-ins, such as peanut butter, marshmallows, or crushed cookies. Feel free to experiment and make it your own!

I'm going to show this to the French chef at my culinary school and tell him this man is famous and has a huge fan following, just to see the expression on his face.
 
I know we don't touch, but it would be hilarious if he got a DMCA takedown over his collection of stolen recipes.
He's admitted in the past that all his recipes are stolen, but like a bitch, he blames Tammy.
Happy stickers to anyone who can track down the video of him saying so. I remember it was filmed in their pseudo office area.
Recipes can't be copyrighted. Images can, descriptions can, and the overall typesetting can. But the list of ingredients and steps required to transform them into food? Nope.
The best part about this is that we've got examples of writings from other retarded lolcows, plenty of them and they're all far better than this shit. This is the absolute fucking dumbest shit to put into a PDF and try to sell.
I wonder if I still have a copy of the Fit Vegan Ginger's cookbook PDF somewhere. It'd be fun to do a side by side comparison to see which is lazier and less competently edited.
You really don't want to be in a situation where ChatGPT comes up with better written, better sounding and less lethal versions of your 'signature' recipes.
I actually throw together a version of that "ChatGPT'S Lazy Man's Casserole" recipe from time to time. It appears to have forgotten to mention that you've got to top it with the tots/hash browns (and cheese, optionally) and then actually bake it for the time given on the frozen taters packaging, though.
 
This recipe book is an abomination spawned by Satan himself. 109 pages, seriously? That sounds like the amount of recipes he's screwed up but none of it was ever his fault.

>Lazy man's omelette
HOW CAN YOU MAKE AN OMELETTE RECIPE EVEN LAZIER?????

tree.jpg
Shredded cheddar
cheese
Shredded Parmesan
Butter
minced Garlic

Was he drunk? He can't even keep the formatting consistent. Where are the quantities?

For the love of Jesus, Jack. That's like half a kilo of dairy.
dip.jpg
Look at the 5th page.
onion.jpg

So only two appetisers. I guess every appetiser is the main course with this fat fuck. His beverages are literally just mixing sprite with flavouring, that's not a recipe is it?

egg.jpg
>Cheese
Of course.
"Directions, watch video". This "cookbook" was written by a fat lazy slob.
Also on page 83 (or 80 according to the Table of Contents because this fat idiot can't use Word properly), this recipe appears again under "main dish".

jams.jpg
Oh dear Lord...
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>Lazy man bread
Just buy bread from your local bakery, nigga.

Most of the photos are just commonly found free stock photos online.
chili.jpg stock.jpg

Okay I understand why now. Is this chicken even cooked?
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Some recipes span 3 pages while others simply link to a YouTube video.

This looks absolutely vile.
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Ostatnio edytowane:
Somebody stop Jack! He's trying to use the forbidden numbers!

Screenshot_20230701_110230_OneDrive.jpg

And here's some of my favorite recipes of the bunch:

Screenshot_20230701_110419_OneDrive.jpg

Image that's JPEG'd to death (and makes him look like more of a tard), plus the 6th stroke he had typing the one (1) ingredient.

Screenshot_20230701_111634_OneDrive.jpg

Featuring my favorite ingredient: inside

Screenshot_20230701_112142_OneDrive.jpg

Jack, buddy, how can we make it if you don't give us the directions? :(
Oh, wait, he put them all with the ingredients like a retard

Screenshot_20230701_112204_OneDrive.jpg

I know somebody already mentioned "e", but it's too funny for me to ignore.

Screenshot_20230701_113119_OneDrive.jpg

Why he thought anybody would want to eat what looks like Shrek's cum is beyond me.

Special mention to the recipes he included twice, even listing them twice in the table of contents:
Screenshot_20230701_111539_OneDrive.jpg
Screenshot_20230701_111856_OneDrive.jpg
Screenshot_20230701_112244_OneDrive.jpg

Lazy Man's Review Score: 5 stars, very gud!
 
The cookbook is a thing of beauty :story: Here's my favorite parts:

He desperately tried to increase the page count, so there are some pages with 1 or 2 words on them
I'd chalk that up to just poor formatting more than anything else.

The whole thing looks like what somebody would have slapped together in no time at all. Not something that had serious work put into it.

Imagine creating a 100+ page PDF file and not even have the table of contents contain clickable chapter titles.
He couldn't figure out how to do that with only one working arm and half his brain replaced by bacon fat.

Okay I understand why now. Is this chicken even cooked?
Knowing him? No. But that is just an unappetizing plate. It's so... beige including the plate. The chicken needs more color. You need some brightness on the plate to offset the lack of color everywhere else. And of course that chicken is fucking raw.

MANDOLIN ORANGES.
Oranges sliced on a mandolin(e) obviously. I mean DUH! What else could be mean?

And of course he fucks up the spelling. It's all speech to text anyway.

Lazy Man's Cockmeat Sandwich

Thrust face down on enormous black dick
Swallow
There's no way that Jagoff doesn't know what cum tastes like. He gets it in his food all the time and he's sucked enough dick in his life to be familiar with it.
 
I wonder if I still have a copy of the Fit Vegan Ginger's cookbook PDF somewhere. It'd be fun to do a side by side comparison to see which is lazier and less competently edited.
I just found my copy, it's amazing how much better it is than Jack's. I remember when it first dropped I thought it was the worst cookbook I'd ever seen and now I want to personally apologize to Anna because she at least used all her own photos, her own recipes, and formatted everything consistently. There's even an intro that's written at at least a 6th grade level.

*edit- file didn't attach, give me a sec...

*Edit 2 I fixed it, pardon my autism!
 

Załączniki

Ostatnio edytowane:
I just found my copy, it's amazing how much better it is than Jack's. I remember when it first dropped I thought it was the worst cookbook I'd ever seen and now I want to personally apologize to Anna because she at least used all her own photos, her own recipes, and formatted everything consistently. There's even an intro that's written at at least a 6th grade level.

*edit- file didn't attach, give me a sec...
The site is still a lil wonky. I uploaded it earlier to someones profile and it took like 30 min, here's a link.
 
You have to make legitimate effort to slap something like this together. I am genuinely impressed at how awful the Jackbook is.
 
I've seen glitched out Kindle books and PDFs that were more consistent and readable than Jack's "cookbook." It is truly impressive just how fucked up it is. Not to mention fascinating, because I'm sure that Jack did 99% of the work, five time stroke brain and all. It takes all the effort and yet none to get to something this unworkable. I have never seen something this poorly done, even with someone working with a fucked up mush brain. It's amazing to witness.
 
I just found my copy, it's amazing how much better it is than Jack's. I remember when it first dropped I thought it was the worst cookbook I'd ever seen and now I want to personally apologize to Anna because she at least used all her own photos, her own recipes, and formatted everything consistently. There's even an intro that's written at at least a 6th grade level.

*edit- file didn't attach, give me a sec...

*Edit 2 I fixed it, pardon my autism!
Yeah, that book is certainly bad. Like an elementary school project. However, while it isn't formatted great and looks like shit, you can at least follow the recipes because it's coherent.

Fatty's book on the other hand would get an F, and appropriately looks like it was written by a retard having a stroke.
 
Yeah, that book is certainly bad. Like an elementary school project. However, while it isn't formatted great and looks like shit, you can at least follow the recipes because it's coherent.

Fatty's book on the other hand would get an F, and appropriately looks like it was written by a retard having a stroke.
You must be suffering from something to use 32 cups of flour and bake a 375.
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>Blueberrys
Jack didn't even graduate kindergarten.

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>Self rising
I guess it tried as hard as Jack doing half a push-up.
 
And then you read the first Sonichu's books. All beautifully formatted in Photoshop with iconic Comic Sans font, every page painstakingly digitalized for maximum quality, every page correctly numbered, the text magnificently written to uphold the gravitas of the story.

Chris Chan has finally been vindicated. Jack is the true lolcow king.
 
It would be one thing if he were putting this thing out for free, but this jackass is actually asking for money for it.
 
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