💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Trig.Point]

The best he'll be able to do is Jagoff on the Go and he'll have to be fed like a baby bird.

Mate.... You know you'll be watching, just like the rest of us.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

he will make the 1 star yelp review in the car on the way home.

He's such a spineless little bitch.

ASAP he'll then do a stupid video commentary. Jagoff will of course preface it first though: Let me just start by saying all the people there were so sweet ...

 Then he'll complain (again) about EVERYTHING because he's such a fuckin' asshole just like he's always been.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

He's such a spineless little bitch.

ASAP he'll then do a stupid video commentary. Jagoff will of course preface it first though: Let me just start by saying all the people there were so sweet ...

 Then he'll complain (again) about EVERYTHING because he's such a fuckin' asshole just like he's always been.

"I'm not complaining! But... [insert 50 complaints here.]"

 

[Whaler]

Jagoff will of course preface it first though: Let me just start by saying all the people there were so sweet ...

How optimistic of you to think he'll be able to speak so clearly.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Jagoff's way too stroked out to say much of anything clearly at this point, no doubt

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

Sadly, it appears the end of a lolcow is near or here. Not because Jack is about to die, but he might very well reach the Boogie kind of cow - just another e-celeb wash up addicted to social media. Jack reaching the point where he just circles the drain like Boogie or KingCobra currently do is basically the death of a lolcow in terms of interest for me and many others. There's no real shortage of people who post what Jack does on Facebook. There's only one chef on YouTube to bring me Party Cheese Salad, Blue-Rare Chicken, and Rotten Church Chili.

I may be wrong, but the only thing stopping this from being his Swan Song is the fact that he ate the Swan. Raw. Because he's fat. And a bad chef.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

Sadly, it appears the end of a lolcow is near or here. Not because Jack is about to die, but he might very well reach the Boogie kind of cow - just another e-celeb wash up addicted to social media. Jack reaching the point where he just circles the drain like Boogie or KingCobra currently do is basically the death of a lolcow in terms of interest for me and many others. There's no real shortage of people who post what Jack does on Facebook. There's only one chef on YouTube to bring me Party Cheese Salad, Blue-Rare Chicken, and Rotten Church Chili.

I may be wrong, but the only thing stopping this from being his Swan Song is the fact that he ate the Swan. Raw. Because he's fat. And a bad chef.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I like the One Limbed Bandit saga that much either. The entire heart attack into stroke saga was a long time coming and Jack treating the nursing home stay like a restaurant review is pretty funny, but what will happen to the video content when he's back home, potentially at the new place without the infamous kitchen? At the end of the day there's only so much humor you can extract from Karen-grade boomerposting on Facebook, Fat on the Go has potential to be really funny and/or the right kind of annoying with the new Jack but that's going to rely on mommywife's permission more than ever, and who knows if the flagship CWJ will survive at all.

It's entirely possible that I'm just worrying too much, after all Tammy did put up with making cooking videos with her doing all the actual work when the Kandy Klaw stroke hit, but I still can't help myself from fearing the worst.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Yeah, I'm not sure if I like the One Limbed Bandit saga that much either. The entire heart attack into stroke saga was a long time coming and Jack treating the nursing home stay like a restaurant review is pretty funny, but what will happen to the video content when he's back home, potentially at the new place without the infamous kitchen? At the end of the day there's only so much humor you can extract from Karen-grade boomerposting on Facebook, Fat on the Go has potential to be really funny and/or the right kind of annoying with the new Jack but that's going to rely on mommywife's permission more than ever, and who knows if the flagship CWJ will survive at all.

It's entirely possible that I'm just worrying too much, after all Tammy did put up with making cooking videos with her doing all the actual work when the Kandy Klaw stroke hit, but I still can't help myself from fearing the worst.

I think Jack will end up retiring the Cooking With Jack show after a couple of episodes where Tammy does absolutely everything and Jack gives unhelpful instructions from behind the camera. He'll then focus on the Jack On The Go Fuck Yourself Show and refer to himself as a "full time" food "reviewer". He's probably wanted to do that for awhile but knew Tammy wouldn't go for it, but now he has the perfect excuse.

 

[Polska krowa]

I think Jack will end up retiring the Cooking With Jack show after a couple of episodes where Tammy does absolutely everything and Jack gives unhelpful instructions from behind the camera. He'll then focus on the Jack On The Go Fuck Yourself Show and refer to himself as a "full time" food "reviewer". He's probably wanted to do that for awhile but knew Tammy wouldn't go for it, but now he has the perfect excuse.

The best option would be to focus on reviewing cooking utensils and gadgets for the disabled. He has done it a little bit before, I remember there was the video where he had something designed to hold food so it can be chopped for people who only have one working arm - I think it'd hurt his fragile ego to purely do that, though, even if he tries for a little bit...

However, Easter isn't too far away... maybe he's hoping his limbs will resurrect on Easter Sunday

 

[salmonellajack]

The CWJ show is here to stay. Don't ever underestimate the power of out of control narcissism

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The best option would be to focus on reviewing cooking utensils and gadgets for the disabled. He has done it a little bit before, I remember there was the video where he had something designed to hold food so it can be chopped for people who only have one working arm - I think it'd hurt his fragile ego to purely do that, though, even if he tries for a little bit...

Yeah it was a mandoline that could be worked one handed as it was advertised as a "safety" device because anybody who's used a real one has cut themselves more than once. The blades on those buggers are sharp as hell.

I think Jack will end up retiring the Cooking With Jack show after a couple of episodes where Tammy does absolutely everything and Jack gives unhelpful instructions from behind the camera. He'll then focus on the Jack On The Go Fuck Yourself Show and refer to himself as a "full time" food "reviewer". He's probably wanted to do that for awhile but knew Tammy wouldn't go for it, but now he has the perfect excuse.

He's got one working arm, from what we know, and his ego is so out of control that he can't give up that kind of control for too long. So he's probably going to try to continue but Mommywife is going to be doing the actual work. There will be less and less of those vids as time goes by as he tries to transition into something new. And eventually he'll wind up doing something else because he's a narcissist who can't give up his Youtube channel or cheeseburgers.

 

[Polska krowa]

Yeah it was a mandoline that could be worked one handed as it was advertised as a "safety" device because anybody who's used a real one has cut themselves more than once. The blades on those buggers are sharp as hell.

Yeah, I remember now! I seem to remember another one where it was a plastic frame that acted as a cage and you put say an onion in, and it had a part for you to run your knife through. But I think I'm thinking about those shitty Chinese kebab makers and I've Mandela effected it into being a CWJ video

In my head, it was a cuboid version of this, but it has a similar knife hole design

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Yeah, I remember now! I seem to remember another one where it was a plastic frame that acted as a cage and you put say an onion in, and it had a part for you to run your knife through. But I think I'm thinking about those shitty Chinese kebab makers and I've Mandela effected it into being a CWJ video

In my head, it was a cuboid version of this, but it has a similar knife hole design

Wyświetl załącznik 4835921

Could be. He's demonstrated so much stupid shit on his channel that it's sometimes hard to keep up.

I mean this retard had to buy one of those "all in one" avocado things while he's got a graveyard full of cheap Chinesium knives that could do the same thing. He's just an idiot that needs to buy all this crap because he's got the wants and needs of a child. "Mommy! Mommy! Buy me this! Please! Please!" and then proceeds to have a meltdown right there until Mommywife buys it for him.

 

[Dave.]

Decided to binge watch Jack On The Go parking lot edition out of boredom. A couple of observations I made:

1. Him and his wife are cheap fucks. If something is 0.30 cents more than what he usually gets, he’ll call it pricy.

2. His use of the word “meat” gives me PTSD

3. His wife is coincidentally the one doing all the driving.

4. He gets pissy if a burger is too small or has “too much” bread.

5. He loves Burger King for some reason. (It’s my least favorite fast food restaurant so I can’t empathize)

 

[densedance]

1. Him and his wife are cheap fucks. If something is 0.30 cents more than what he usually gets, he’ll call it pricy.

Or they drive to another location that is 20-30 minutes away, so therefore the fuel money & the time wasted doesn't matter.

 

[Pig Cups]

At least before he hobbled around his house, filmed his shitty cooking show, and went outside. That's at least a minimal amount of physical activity.

Now all he does is sit in bed eating. He's become the stereotypical morbidly obese archetype that does nothing but lay in bed, eat, and eventually die. If he had been following the diet in the hospital and nursing home, he would have lost weight. Instead he's doubled down with multiple meals a day and Tammy indulging in her feeder fetish.

He's going to spend the rest of his life in bed and getting fatter until one day his heart says "fuck it" and he dies.

In the openings of episodes of My 600-Lb Life where the fatties are already bedridden, they always recount the slow process of deterioration that led to their current state. You don’t actually see the process itself occur (outside of photo montages and watching them continue to kill themselves via food)- the bulk of the damage has already happened, so their retelling often feels very after-the-fact.

It’s surreal now, being able to witness that aforementioned slow/hidden process in real time. If Jack’s permanently in that chair (meaning the slight amount of activity he got from *walking* is now off the table), the remainder of his life will inevitably consist of fattening more while being immobile, until another emergency finally kills him.

He (like most fatties that encounter the same) is approaching the possibility of NEVER WALKING AGAIN with an astounding degree of flippancy. I’ll never understand how carefree certain people can be about losing such an important capacity. There was a fat fuck by the name of John Keitz who was documented in a film called The 750 Pound Man (can’t find it anywhere). In it, he described falling while standing in his kitchen as he was preparing a mac and cheese dinner with Velveeta. He recounted how he and his wife shared a look in that moment of “oh well, I guess it’s finally happened?” before resignedly accepting that he would never walk again (because it was too hard and joyless). He never walked again after that point and stayed permanently bedridden. It was not treated with the seriousness that an acknowledgment of that caliber warrants. And now Jack is doing the very same.

Fat fucks that let it get to that degree of out-of-control and stop caring need to fucking die.

 

[Dave.]

In the openings of episodes of My 600-Lb Life where the fatties are already bedridden, they always recount the slow process of deterioration that led to their current state. You don’t actually see the process itself occur (outside of photo montages and watching them continue to kill themselves via food)- the bulk of the damage has already happened, so their retelling often feels very after-the-fact.

It’s surreal now, being able to witness that aforementioned slow/hidden process in real time. If Jack’s permanently in that chair (meaning the slight amount of activity he got from *walking* is now off the table), the remainder of his life will inevitably consist of fattening more while being immobile, until another emergency finally kills him.

I understand people don’t feel any empathy for Jack because his conditions are self-inflicted out of sheer arrogance and gluttony, but comparing his Jack On The Go videos from a decade ago to present is kind of harrowing. He’s went from a spry and kind of flamboyant sort of man to a sickly zombie who calls a Philly cheesesteak a philly cheesecake in one of his recent videos.

 

[Padoru]

It doesn’t look like the HT Party Cheese video has ever made it to this thread.
I like this video. Party Cheese Salad videos are oddly comforting, but this one is especially so. Dude has astounding fortitude, considering that he could chew and swallow a bite of that garbage without heaving. But just looking at his face, you can tell that he was really struggling to hold it together.

you know i feel it's relevant to point out that i kinda appreciate Honest Tries' approach to these. He knows that the recipes he is trying will be terrible but he still seems to give it an earnest shot even if he is reluctant. Now surprising nobody he has so far consistently disliked what he cooked but that's on the recipes

 

[InfiniteJoyful]

700k?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I understand people don’t feel any empathy for Jack because his conditions are self-inflicted out of sheer arrogance and gluttony, but comparing his Jack On The Go videos from a decade ago to present is kind of harrowing. He’s went from a spry and kind of flamboyant sort of man to a sickly zombie who calls a Philly cheesesteak a philly cheesecake in one of his recent videos.

It's kinda sad to see such a slow decline but at the same time it's Jagoff so I don't really feel bad for him.

Fat fucks that let it get to that degree of out-of-control and stop caring need to fucking die.

Agreed. If it's self inflicted, especially after FOUR strokes, then they're just beyond help.

700k?

And they're asking way more than what their home is worth. Whole point is you come in and lowball them, they say no and you negotiate a price. Most people are willing to come down a bit.