💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

people who claim if you wouldn't drink it, you shouldn't cook with it are idiots or shills. You're looking for background flavor and just enough booze to bring out the specifically alcohol-soluble compounds, such as those found in tomatoes.

That usually applies if you're reducing it as those off flavors would be more pronounced. Or in the cases of cheap ass beer they need to be drunk cold because it numbs some of the flavors. Heat them up and you can really taste the skunk in them.

He may own a hipster sandwich shop, but he obviously knows and loves cooking.

Dude knows his stuff but sometimes he comes off a little too highbrow when he's making suggestions to the videos.

I don't like Uncle Roger either, but I get the crowd he caters too.

A little bit of Uncle Roger is fine. But too much of him and you just want to smack him because the shtick wears thin after a while. I understand where he's coming from and what he's doing. But his broken English and constant cries of "aiyaaaaa" can wear thin after a while.

August seems to have an inerrant sense for picking out one of the few things Jack actually did right and mocking that.

While I'm all for anybody poking fun at Jagoff and his cooking abominations August doesn't know how to cook so often times he makes fun of something that Jagoff does correctly. Or at least correctly in theory because he always manages to fuck things up.

My personal rule of thumb is to go for near bottom of shelf but not the bottom, at least in my area a 10-ish dollar wine tends to be the sweet spot in flavor vs price in cooking.
I've tried way cheaper a few times and it didn't go too well (nor did I like the tastes of those wines).

I do agree that you shouldn't choose the cheapest you can but choose something that you can finish off because maybe half the bottle is going into the dish. You're gonna want to do something with the remainder.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

Story time.

I've already shared my story about inquiring to buy The Best Sauces when Jack was trying to sell the company. Here's another time Jack ruined a possible sale.

At one of my previous jobs, my manager and I decided we were going to order some sauces from Jack. My manager reached out to him via email and started the process. He sent us pricing. He even slightly negotiated pricing with us. What killed the deal was we had to order 12 of every flavor sauce plus a full case of his "gourmet" seasoning.

We explained no sauce dealer, even big ones like Meat Church and Dizzy Pig required that. He snapped back at the manager this is how he did it and they all could do it because they were big companies. We wanted 3 of each and he refused to do it.

 

[Tiresome]

Story time.

I've already shared my story about inquiring to buy The Best Sauces when Jack was trying to sell the company. Here's another time Jack ruined a possible sale.

At one of my previous jobs, my manager and I decided we were going to order some sauces from Jack. My manager reached out to him via email and started the process. He sent us pricing. He even slightly negotiated pricing with us. What killed the deal was we had to order 12 of every flavor sauce plus a full case of his "gourmet" seasoning.

We explained no sauce dealer, even big ones like Meat Church and Dizzy Pig required that. He snapped back at the manager this is how he did it and they all could do it because they were big companies. We wanted 3 of each and he refused to do it.

Just goes to prove literally the only thing Jack will leave on the table is money

 

[p1138]

Just goes to prove literally the only thing Jack will leave on the table is money

Cash is green, probably subconsciously reminds him of salad without heaps of dressing.

 

[Pig Cups]

One of the best things I ever saw was Jack trying to carry on the show on his knee scooter, facing to the side and looking like even more of a manlet. If he ever gets back to Cooking with Jack, it's going to be a half-paralyzed Jack head peeking over the island counter like a Munchkin with special needs.

I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:

I could see CWJ devolving into something like that^- disabled Jack doing the intro, narrations, and outro from his wheelchair, while Tammy does all the cooking. She’d basically be doing it out of sympathy- to give the Fat Man some form of enjoyment/purpose in his final days. And how fitting would such an outcome be for Jack? Literally, a man who built an identity around laziness lets his body rot (due to laziness) and ends up with his wife taking over his “show” while his lazy ass does even less in terms of production, yet the show still gets made.

 

[Grassy_Knoll]

I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

There's always text to speech

 

[atoi]

I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=r5frsVCBo0o
I could see CWJ devolving into something like that^- disabled Jack doing the intro, narrations, and outro from his wheelchair, while Tammy does all the cooking. She’d basically be doing it out of sympathy- to give the Fat Man some form of enjoyment/purpose in his final days. And how fitting would such an outcome be for Jack? Literally, a man who built an identity around laziness lets his body rot (due to laziness) and ends up with his wife taking over his “show” while his lazy ass does even less in terms of production, yet the show still gets made.

maybe junior will realize his rap career isn't going anywhere and he takes over. could get interesting

 

[Grassy_Knoll]

Usually what I do with hashbrowns is I strain them and then wad them up in paper towels then ring them out and set them out to dry for a couple minutes. To me it seemed like using a dishtowel would contaminate then with fabrics and make them kind of hairy, but if it’s viable than Jack did nothing wrong and that’s a mistake on my part.

I put them in the pan wet (strained wet not wet wet), then take them off the heat and let them steam off for 30 minutes or so before frying them.

 

[semitooth]

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:

this wouldn't have been half as embarassing if he'd just gotten a little bit more creative about it instead of just making tammy do all this fucking work for him.

 

[Grassy_Knoll]

maybe junior will realize his rap career isn't going anywhere and he takes over. could get interesting

I would give my left nut to see Joe Chavez claim his rightful throne

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.

 

[biggacracka]

This concept is sick as fuck but there was once a dude who literally did this with his amputated foot and even served tacos made from it to his friends.

This Man Made Tacos From His Amputated Foot And Then Fed Them To His Friends

This Man Made Tacos From His Amputated Foot And Then Fed Them To His Friends

www.iflscience.com

This was the inspiration for my post

 

[Doctor of Autism]

The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.

Honestly it makes Jack fun since anyone can get in on making fun of him.

 

[crinklefry]

maybe junior will realize his rap career isn't going anywhere and he takes over. could get interesting

this is the ending i want to see, keep the family business alive

 

[Wintermute_Zero]

If both of fat retards legs are gone does that mean we will get kandy klub x2 to match the kandy klaw?

 

[Grassy_Knoll]

Honestly it makes Jack fun since anyone can get in on making fun of him.

Far less lore is required than other cows, just jump in at any point and its abundantly clear what kind of man Jack is

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

... its abundantly clear what kind of man Jack is

Yeah, a retarded fat sack of garbage. And an asshole.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

Correct, the program I used to throw this together wouldn't let me do that without creating a visual nightmare

scrawl it out in mspaint instead. pussy.

I realise this wouldve been funnier if id kept my last username

 

[Seymour Duncan]

The past few pages and the various discussions among active users in this thread highlight Jack's status as an elite cow. Only Jagoff can inspire hatewatchers among a group of such varied individuals. We can't all agree on which of his recipe modifications is most egregious but we can pretty much all agree that this guy fucking sucks.

He is just such a perfectly balanced individual. The videos are funny enough on face value that he's great for casual "hey guys check out what I found on the tubes" frat house commentary but the lore is still funny if you're into cow history, and he's enough of an unlikable arrogant asshole and master of self-inflicted injuries that it's hard to truly feel bad for him but he's not malicious enough to inspire that evening-ruining urge to kill either.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What killed the deal was we had to order 12 of every flavor sauce plus a full case of his "gourmet" seasoning.

What an asshole. And the worst part of it is his "gourmet" seasoning? It's literally onion powder, garlic powder plus salt & pepper. You know things that most people have in their pantry right now.

I believe that, as long as he can speak without sounding like the teacher in Peanuts, there’s a strong chance that Jack will return to CWJ. Even if he’s paralyzed in both arms and wearing an oxygen cannula, he’ll still probably push forward to get his narc fix. The only thing that I can think of that would induce enough shame to get him to quit YouTube would be his speech getting affected.

Yes, he was in a scooty puff before, but let’s not forget that Jack being filmed in a wheelchair is not without precedent:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=r5frsVCBo0o
I could see CWJ devolving into something like that^- disabled Jack doing the intro, narrations, and outro from his wheelchair, while Tammy does all the cooking. She’d basically be doing it out of sympathy- to give the Fat Man some form of enjoyment/purpose in his final days. And how fitting would such an outcome be for Jack? Literally, a man who built an identity around laziness lets his body rot (due to laziness) and ends up with his wife taking over his “show” while his lazy ass does even less in terms of production, yet the show still gets made.

So "Cooking with Jack" would still have him prominently promoted on the channel but he'd just be the "producer" and every week we'd have a guest host that would show one of "Jack's" favorite recipes.

I'd love to then see what Fat on the Go would turn into.

I put them in the pan wet (strained wet not wet wet), then take them off the heat and let them steam off for 30 minutes or so before frying them.

Wouldn't that make them a little gummy?

He is just such a perfectly balanced individual. The videos are funny enough on face value that he's great for casual "hey guys check out what I found on the tubes" frat house commentary but the lore is still funny if you're into cow history, and he's enough of an unlikable arrogant asshole and master of self-inflicted injuries that it's hard to truly feel bad for him but he's not malicious enough to inspire that evening-ruining urge to kill either.

If he had a shred of self-reflection or ability to understand that he comes off as an unlikable jackass especially when he complains about stuff like a toddler then he wouldn't be as fun as he is to make fun of.