💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[._.]

Jack would totally film his hospital stay and pass it as business expenses if he could film it

lol Its applesauce day in the cafeteria, the video opens to Jack lying in a hospital bed half lidded and slack jawed, and a spoon comes in from the left like the 'airplane' thing they do feeding toddlers, they land it in his mouth and feed him. Hes sitting there motionless save for him smacking his lips a bit as he eats it and theres silence for a bit as he stares dead-eyed into the camera and goes '.....gud'. Cue upbeat chipmunk music thats way too fucking loud.

 

[Simon]

While we wait for the F as in Frank video, here's a relatively popular Youtuber, CinnamontoastKen, reacting to Jack's 1 year old brisket chili video. Shit's nasty.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

Been cringe watching some old Jack videos. Outside of him actually using a microphone instead of the built in mic on the camera, he loves to say stuff is, "just as good," or in Jack's case, "jussis gud."

Dried herbs? Jussis gud as fresh
Wagoo? Jussis gud as chuck

Jussis gud.

I wish we could have Livestream Jack back.

 

[AnOminous]

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

I want at least one Jackoff the Go where he's gurgling, slurring his words, shoving meat into his face like it was a huge cock, then dying on camera.

God would want it this way.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Are we not overdue for the F as in Frank episode now?

He probably can't figure out a way to look alive or mobile when he does it so he's waiting for God to heal him so he can get on camera and own all the haturz who called him a fat lump of sentient hog fat.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

I remember reading in this thread that Hammy picked Jack because she wanted a man who was driven or ambitious or something like that. The irony is incredible. He is like 10 years away from average retirement age and is permanently disabled; he hasn't shown the drive to do anything other than eat raw meat by the truckload. Way to roll a gutterball on your marriage, Hammy.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Give me top hats but I want to give this fuck a top turnbuckle doomsday driver into the Spanish announce table.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I remember reading in this thread that Hammy picked Jack because she wanted a man who was driven or ambitious or something like that. The irony is incredible. He is like 10 years away from average retirement age and is permanently disabled; he hasn't shown the drive to do anything other than eat raw meat by the truckload. Way to roll a gutterball on your marriage, Hammy.

Any bets on what is disabled about him this time? Obviously not his mouth.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Any bets on what is disabled about him this time? Obviously not his mouth.

Probably will be on supplemental oxygen because his heart is so damaged that he gets winded just lifting his good arm and will not be doing much meaning he'll be running his mouth while Hammy or one of the Jrs actually does the work.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Any bets on what is disabled about him this time? Obviously not his mouth.

Expressive aphasia could explain why no videos: text posts are easy to proofread and edit. Or no aphasia, but slurred speech.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Expressive aphasia could explain why no videos: text posts are easy to proofread and edit. Or no aphasia, but slurred speech.

He does speech to text so you know those texts weren't from him then. It lacked his retarded idiom.

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

If he is so disabled he cant take a shit on his own, do you think tammy will change his diapers and clean his asshole? Allso....if so....will she improve his diet to make him shit less and less shitty shit?

 

[V4L_Penis]

Are Jack's videos effective as a weight loss aid/eating disorder inspiration?

Jack’s videos are most effective as a recruiting tool for the Islamic State/Al-Qaeda

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Not even Jumping Jacks, although you'd think that would have been his favorite exercise when he could do it.

If Jack would (could) do Jumping Jacks it would be registered in Tokyo as a 7.8 Richter scale earthquake.

 

[captkrisma]

It would still take a lot for the average human to die from a caffeine overdose, and the half life of caffeine is 5 hours. 300 cans of 12 oz Coca Cola would do it, it that would also have to be consumed over a certain amount of time.

Yeah, unless you have pre-exisiting conditions that would cause heart issues it takes a LOT to cause harm. A guy my size would need to drink 14,000 bottles or roughly 1,700 gallons of Yoo-Hoo to kill me.

Jack is also someone who would pound a Red Bull just to have something to drink.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Yeah, unless you have pre-exisiting conditions that would cause heart issues it takes a LOT to cause harm. A guy my size would need to drink 14,000 bottles or roughly 1,700 gallons of Yoo-Hoo to kill me.

Jack is also someone who would pound a Red Bull just to have something to drink.

What about eating 12,000+ mg of sodium laden turkey wings?

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS.

 

[p1138]

What about eating 12,000+ mg of sodium laden turkey wings?

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS. Wyświetl załącznik 4544942

"top rated award winning rehab facility"? lol... probably means it's got more than 3 stars on yelp.

Actually, fuck it. It's see what's on yelp for "rehabilitation facility" in his area that would make sense.
Retirement community? No
Seniors plus more? Doubt it
Active Life Chiropractic? He's too fat to find joints
Hermitage Chiropractic & Rehabilitation? Again with the chiropractors?
White House Healthcare? A hospice/home health care... hmm. 4 reviews, 4 stars

https://whitehouse-healthcare.com/

Creekside Center for Rehabilitation & Healing. 1 review, 1 star.

https://creeksidecenterrehab.com/

AHC Vanco. 2 reviews, 1.5 stars

https://ahcseniorcare.com/ahc-vanco-entrance/

Gallatin Center for Rehabilitation and Healing 5 reviews, 2 stars, pronounces being the BEST TURSING HOMES RATINGS! from US news and world report whatever the hell that is.

https://gallatincenterrehab.com/

Trevecca Center for Rehabilitation and Healing, 2 reviews, 2.5 stars Professional of the year 2023 whatever that's supposed to mean. Also seems to offer some nonsense giveaways for vacations? Also BEST NURSING HOMES RANKINGS! "five-star quality rated"

http://treveccacenterrehab.com/

Cumberland Heights, outparient drug and alcohol rehab... nah.
Nashville alcohol and drug rehab, nope
AHC Mt. Juliet, 4 reviews, 1.5 stars, supposedly 4.3/5 stars with 77 ratings "joint commission accredited"

https://ahcseniorcare.com/ahc-mt-juliet/

Treatment Helper Center for Alcohol and drug abuse, nope.
The Waters of Gallatin, 4 reviews 1.5 stars does short term and long term with lifelong results

http://www.watersofgallatin.com/indexa.php

Only a couple really seem to plaster certification/award nonsense on the front page of their websites, and it's not as if Jack would dig much deeper than yelp or the few local referrals he might have received in the hospital from the staff wanting him to get the hell out of their beds. I wonder where he is...

 

[biggacracka]

top rated award winning rehab facility

It means the food is gud

 

[rubytintedchix]

No OBJ’s in that post though. Did he really write it?

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

What about eating 12,000+ mg of sodium laden turkey wings?

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS. Wyświetl załącznik 4544942

No way he wrote this. Jack is probably unable to talk to use speech-to-text, so that’s why Tammy is writing all his posts for him.