💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

At this point he's probably in some sort of TCU and will be there until he can do basic shit like going to the bathroom, feeding himself, etc.

If that's true, he's done. He didn't want to have a functional arm, why bother with anything else?

 

[Tiresome]

Jack being angry at seeing Negroes when he is literally the swarthy personification of the fat Amerimutt will never cease to amuse me. Don't tell me that tub of shit is 100% white. His ancestry does not come from the Mayflower but I bet it includes a couple slave ships.

Because he's in worse shape than he's admitting. He's actually more concerned with how embarrassing it is to be on death's door in front of the haters than the fact he literally could be dying.

Every aging, ignorant American boomer like Jack is invariably a modern kind of impotent Captain Ahab, to their dying breath spitting bile at things that will never affect their lives in any way whatsoever, like television commercials.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

If he hates the brothas so much why even watch football where they make up most of the team? Just watch Olympic curling reruns or something

Super Bowl parties. Lots of meat, cheese, and grease. It’s a Jack paradise.

Edit: he also loves BBC whether he cares to admit it or not. So even more of a Jack paradise.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I think I'm going to attempt to recreat Jack's bbq sauce.

2 parts catship
1 part yellow mustard
Two shakes of garlic powder
Two shakes rosemary
1 cup black pepper

Anything else?

Don’t forget the grape jelly! Or gelatin. Whatever the product is that makes it goopy.

 

[AnOminous]

Every aging, ignorant American boomer like Jack is invariably a modern kind of impotent Captain Ahab, to their dying breath spitting bile at things that will never affect their lives in any way whatsoever, like television commercials.

Super Bowl commercials aren't even like commercials in a show you want to watch. They're not interrupting content. They're scientifically managed so they all get played and it doesn't interrupt any actual game action. Stupid fuck could get up and eat some bacon grease straight from a vat or something. Do some push-ups maybe, well he can't do that. Not even Jumping Jacks, although you'd think that would have been his favorite exercise when he could do it.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Apparently it's a thing. He stole it from some source, but I'm not sure which. There's a Cinnamon Toast Crunch Chicken & Waffles that actually sort of barely makes sense, although I can't see really making it because the waffles and syrup is already plenty sweet and the greasy crispy chicken is a contrast to it. Making them both sickly sweet doesn't make sense.

In that sense I could almost see it working. The whole point of chicken and waffles is you get the salty and savory with the sweet. But in this case it's just vile.

 

[curbside2]

Gay of me I know. But this thread has become a little less fun for me now that he’s genuinely on deaths door. I don’t think he gets another “health event”. I think the next one it’s sayonara and thanks for the memories.

 

[Tiresome]

Gay of me I know. But this thread has become a little less fun for me now that he’s genuinely on deaths door. I don’t think he gets another “health event”. I think the next one it’s sayonara and thanks for the memories.

After this one, I'm not so sure. I'd have thought a fourth stroke would be enough to kill anyone. It looked like they informed Garrett that this was absolutely it. But Jack has an insane kind of luck.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

Don’t forget the grape jelly! Or gelatin. Whatever the product is that makes it goopy.

In the OG sauce it was the not one, but TWO types of corn syrup!

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Gay of me I know. But this thread has become a little less fun for me now that he’s genuinely on deaths door. I don’t think he gets another “health event”. I think the next one it’s sayonara and thanks for the memories.

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

After this one, I'm not so sure. I'd have thought a fourth stroke would be enough to kill anyone. It looked like they informed Garrett that this was absolutely it. But Jack has an insane kind of luck.

I don't believe in deals with the devil, but it sure feels like one with Jack. He's endured so many widowmaker events and yet lived to stuff his face with Arby's another day. He truly is like Keith Richards in that he really should be dead but isn't yet.

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

I have no sympathy for Jack if this is the case. All those heart attacks and strokes, only to double down on how he ate? And with that attitude? Him becoming such a crip that he cannot larp as a cooking YouTuber anymore is a just fate for him.

It is off that we haven't seen Jack on video since the hospital stay. This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud. He updated at a regular rate. It's ironically the closest thing he has to a work ethic in him. Not even a two minute long update?

I am very curious to see just how fucked up this latest episode left him. Even if he is too crippled for new content, however, I could see the Scalfanis trying to milk the old crap via reuploads (like how Jack will occasionally repost "classics"). Anything to keep going.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

Maybe. He's already said his food war tours are going to continue and we are anxiously awaiting the F as in Frank TELL ALL episode.

Wishful thinking on my part but I need at least 5 more years of Jack content.

 

[Spooky Cloud Strife]

so...the 3rd stroke finally reached the mushbrain...I know I´m very very very late in the party but....WOW
I´m actually impressed, bruh, how is so resistant?!!!!
Too bad for mommy wife but fucking Jack is indestructible for some reason

 

[captkrisma]

Jack got angy that the trans M&M returned. He also totally missed the joke.

 

[ZipDisk]

mix suddenly.

I love this.

Re: Race: Jack is a secret Ayrab, we have discussed this in the past.

Re: Liberal Football - It isn't that Rihanna is a negress, it's that illuminati bullshit about being dressed in red being in service of Satan. (Sam Smith and the not a woman)

Re: checking in from the hospital - The thin-skinned whale would never do this. The only reason he has admitted to past medical trauma is because it is self-evident. He'd probably pretend the arm isn't dead if he could. (Saebo saga)

This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud.

Rob did it better! He's hanging out in Tortuga.

Enjoy the mushroom slop, Jack!

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

I don't believe in deals with the devil, but it sure feels like one with Jack. He's endured so many widowmaker events and yet lived to stuff his face with Arby's another day. He truly is like Keith Richards in that he really should be dead but isn't yet.



I have no sympathy for Jack if this is the case. All those heart attacks and strokes, only to double down on how he ate? And with that attitude? Him becoming such a crip that he cannot larp as a cooking YouTuber anymore is a just fate for him.

It is off that we haven't seen Jack on video since the hospital stay. This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud. He updated at a regular rate. It's ironically the closest thing he has to a work ethic in him. Not even a two minute long update?

I am very curious to see just how fucked up this latest episode left him. Even if he is too crippled for new content, however, I could see the Scalfanis trying to milk the old crap via reuploads (like how Jack will occasionally repost "classics"). Anything to keep going.

Technically, a widowmaker refers to a full blockage in the LAD artery (left anterior descending artery). The LAD artery provides 50 percent of the blood supply to the heart. I don’t know if he has had that type of heart attack yet.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Technically, a widowmaker refers to a full blockage in the LAD artery (left anterior descending artery). The LAD artery provides 50 percent of the blood supply to the heart. I don’t know if he has had that type of heart attack yet.

Likely not, given how deadly widowmakers are supposed to be. Although Tammy should’ve been made a widow at least five times herself from what I can tell. Jack’s arteries have to be super blocked. A heart attack was overdue.

I was trying to make a punnish joke earlier, but me stupid

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

Likely not, given how deadly widowmakers are supposed to be. Although Tammy should’ve been made a widow at least five times herself from what I can tell. Jack’s arteries have to be super blocked. A heart attack was overdue.

I was trying to make a punnish joke earlier, but me stupid

I will say it is amazing how much Jack has gone through and still not a completely vegetable, but it does remain to be seen what is functioning is at. I do not think he’s coming out of this completely unscathed.

 

[biggacracka]

This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud.

Jack would totally film his hospital stay and pass it as business expenses if he could film it

 

[Sonic T]

Jack would totally film his hospital stay and pass it as business expenses if he could film it

"CoMe On iN cLoSe and I'll show you this slice of toast from the cafeteria."

*resumes drooling on bib, nurse comes in to rinse his bed pan*

Edit: typo