💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • April-May 2024

    Głosy: 6 0,4%
  • June-July 2024

    Głosy: 17 1,1%
  • August-September 2024

    Głosy: 34 2,1%
  • October-November 2024

    Głosy: 37 2,3%
  • December 2024

    Głosy: 44 2,8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Głosy: 256 16,1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Głosy: 261 16,4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Głosy: 930 58,5%

  • Łączna liczba głosujących
    1 591
Some notes I picked up while watching this dumpster fire of a video:

1. Jack is clearly using this Robert, who is now Rob2.0, as his cue card; he repeatedly waits for Rob to describe the flavor, scent, and qualities of an item before he chimes in. This is slacker 101 and to me really shows just how damaged his sense of taste given he always waits for the cue to gurgle "gud".
2. Rob2.0 easily is a far more charismatic person than Jack is, more knowledgeable, and easily outshines him. Reminder Jack's been doing this shitshow for over 15 years.
3. Jack at one point takes credit for Rob2.0's own idea of blending the seasonings. He actually at first was going to reject it instantly out of annoyance, but then remembered his wife Tim won't give him three whole turkeys to eat. It's the best example of narc behavior you'll see out of him in a while, since he does this in one cut.
4. He whines and bitches and clearly is coming undone from all the channels coming to mock the shit out of his cooking. 4 minutes in and you can clearly listen to him bitch about people telling him how badly he overseasons shit. Speaking of which...
5. Jack decisively proves that he needs his food to be completely coated in seasoning like you'd coat a chicken thigh in panko breadcrumbs before frying. It needs to be absolutely coated in Fujis worth of seasoning. This is what he means when he complains about seasoning falling off. The turkey at 5:35 is damn near perfectly seasoned to me.
6. Jack clearly is cruising and trying to get Rob to fuck him. It really makes the video creepy.

Oh and also, I think I have a good idea on why Jack is so angy and comparing Tennessee to California: a minority or gay person very likely has moved in to his neighborhood. It may even be why he's so eager to move.
 
With how Gordon Ramsey reacts to bad cooking, I wonder how Jack would respond if his cooking is called shit by the biggest name in cooking
Now that would be something to see, and I admit I would feel a bit sorry for Jack. Getting called off by your own idol, as much as it would be warranted, really sucks lol!

With that in mind, Jagoff wouldn't be able to simply dismiss Gordon as any other "hater". He clearly idolizes him, considering he's got entire videos dedicated to recreating his recipes. I don't think even Jagoff would be able to ignore that, and he would probably back down instead of picking a fight with one of the biggest names in entertainment, a pretend apology saying that he improved would probably be enough!
 
With that in mind, Jagoff wouldn't be able to simply dismiss Gordon as any other "hater". He clearly idolizes him, considering he's got entire videos dedicated to recreating his recipes. I don't think even Jagoff would be able to ignore that, and he would probably back down instead of picking a fight with one of the biggest names in entertainment, a pretend apology saying that he improved would probably be enough!
Jack desperately wanted to do Gordon recipes from the poll. He added Guy Fieri as a goof and was pissed that he had to acknowledge the tie even happened.

The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
 
Jack desperately wanted to do Gordon recipes from the poll. He added Guy Fieri as a goof and was pissed that he had to acknowledge the tie even happened.

The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
Joshua Weissman can also be that way too. Like for his Popeye's Chicken Sandwich he wanted you to make a black garlic aioli. Um, dude, it is just a fucking rip off of a cheap chicken sandwich. Black garlic is not hard to make if you can't find it, it just takes 3-4 weeks and I am hungry now. Same with most of his breads, they tend to be 18-24 hour affairs. I AM HUNGRY NOW GODDAMNIT. I often see those complaints in his comments, lol. I mean his shit is good, but a lot of it takes a huge amount of time/waiting to make.

Jack and his man crush do make a cute couple. I wonder where they will register at for their wedding?
 
There's just something so infuriating about watching some fat stroked-out gay fuck who is practically dead wearing a baseball hat backwards like some wigger faggot.
Oh and also, I think I have a good idea on why Jack is so angy and comparing Tennessee to California: a minority or gay person very likely has moved in to his neighborhood.
Jack thinks he's the only dude allowed to suck dicks in his neighborhood.
 
Idiot should have gotten the plantains instead of his stroke brain playing follow-the-Tammy and getting that school lunch ass looking house salad. Mr. Restaurant Industry knows Sysco foods and has complained about before, yet he always orders items most likely to be the most marked up and least interesting items on the menu.

Jack's typical call to action at the end always bewilders me. "Come by, give em some love, tell em you saw it on the show." Of course no one does this, but the prospect of it and to seriously entertain the idea.

Just how many people does he think he is targeting in his part of Tennessee? The old California Jack that was a bit more spry might have cared about his analytics, but I don't think he'd even bother to go beyond his view count dashboard these days. It at least might have made a lick of sense when he was visiting places in the LA suburbs or his tourist vacation spots. I guess it's part of his influencer LARP denying the fact he's a TN transplant from CA (the worst kind of transplant, those Californians, according to any local anywhere) and reviews chain restaurants.
 
Joshua Weissman can also be that way too.
Jack also reminds me of that guy who hosted Bon Appetit who considered anything that wasn't sears to be overcooked.
The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
Lol, imagine caring about Gordon Ramsey. Look, dude's a good cook, but it's food at the end of the day. It goes in and comes out as waste. You could make a beef wellington, and you would enjoy it, but you could also just make your own corndogs from scratch and probably be just as happy, just as proud of what you made, and actually be able to afford to eat tomorrow as well.
 
"The Ceviche was probably Peruvian style."
No shit Jack. ALL Ceviche is Peruvian in origin. Thats like being surprised your Pizza is kind of Italian. And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?

Edit: The Trump Store is actually a store dedicated to Donald Trump merch. That is weird and cultish as fuck. Jack probably cruises there.
 
"The Ceviche was probably Peruvian style."
No shit Jack. ALL Ceviche is Peruvian in origin. Thats like being surprised your Pizza is kind of Italian. And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?

Edit: The Trump Store is actually a store dedicated to Donald Trump merch. That is weird and cultish as fuck. Jack probably cruises there.
Shirt sizes on that site range from small to XXXXXL. That’s all I’m saying about that site before I politisperg.
 
They say they went for a "coffee" while waiting for it to cook. We all know that David just bent Jagoff over the grill and fucked him up the ass while that was happening. So Jagoff could see the meat turning on the rotisserie while David gave him the meat from behind.

The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
I've done some of Gordon's recipes and they are long, involved and require a really good selection nearby. Jagoff would just go to Walmart and get whatever was close to it. This is the guy after all that substituted blueberries for juniper berries in a recipe. That's beyond retarded.

Same with most of his breads, they tend to be 18-24 hour affairs.
This is why you plan ahead. Whenever I make bread I mix it up the night before, let it rise slowly overnight and then the next day do what needs to be done. A long rise and not too much yeast gives you much better flavor for your bread.

And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?
It's probably that he's only had it with shellfish before and not actual fish. But strokebrain strikes again and he's under the impression that it's only for things like shrimp, scallops and other shellfish.
 
I've done some of Gordon's recipes and they are long, involved and require a really good selection nearby.
I honestly think Ramsay's best stuff is his simple stuff, like the scrambled eggs video or the steak video. They're usually about five minutes or so, don't involve any swearing and screaming, and tell you exactly how to perform some fundamental cooking task.

There's literally no excuse for bungling a steak when this two and a half minute video exists:

I even picked up a couple things from this that I continue to use, specifically just using crushed (un-peeled) garlic and rendering a bit of the fat from the steak so it's frying in its own fat.
 
I honestly think Ramsay's best stuff is his simple stuff, like the scrambled eggs video or the steak video. They're usually about five minutes or so, don't involve any swearing and screaming, and tell you exactly how to perform some fundamental cooking task.
The man knows his way around a kitchen. There's a reason he's as well known as he is.

Jagoff isn't fit to stir this man's lamb sauce much less make his scrambled eggs. But then he wouldn't be able to find creme fraiche anywhere local and he's not paying the $10 or whatever it costs at Aldi's so he'd just add a heaping tablespoon of mayo that had been left out until it soured a bit instead. I'm sure he'd live. All the food borne diseases and parasites he's got have been fighting for control so long he's practically immune to them.
 
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