While “love is blind” may be a common reality show-producing mantra, the reality of online dating today seems set to prove love is anything but sightless.
Apps like Tinder and Bumble employ a swipe system in which users are presented with a photo and scant information about their potential partner, allowing them the option to quickly select “yes” or “no” with just the flick of a finger.
As these apps become ubiquitous, more people are realizing the imbalances that they produce. For example, a 2016 study found that, while men on Tinder accumulate likes slowly, women can rapidly match with many people. To that end, by the study’s conclusion, the seven fake male profiles researchers created had received a total of 532 matches; the number for the fake female profiles was 8,248.
The findings of this study seem to be backed up by a recent viral TikTok from user Jeremy (@lilyanddahhboosh).
In the video, which now boasts over 69,000 views, Jeremy asks his co-worker about her matches on the dating app Hinge. After only two days of being on the app, she is allegedly talking with almost 40 people.
Jeremy’s surprise in the video is obvious.
“Do you realize for guys we have to wait, like, weeks to get likes, let alone a person that we are interested in to send us a ‘like’…[or,] when we send them a ‘like,’ for them to accept it?” Jeremy asks his co-worker. “We’re, like, shooting a basketball in the dark, blindfolded, backwards, and hoping that it lands in a goal that’s almost smaller than the actual ball.”
In the comments, some users agreed with this notion.
“I sat with my guy friend and we did a 5 minute bumble swipe where we had to swipe on everyone,” recalled a user. “I got 55 matches he got 2. It’s so rough for guys.”
“I had over 4,000 likes in 6 days,” claimed another. “Got overwhelmed…and didn’t proceed.”
However, others pointed out that quantity does not equal quality.
“From those 39 only like 2 are good,” a viewer stated.
“Tell me why half the men don’t respond then when they liked you first then you accept and start a convo,” a second user questioned.
“But it’s exhausting,” another user wrote. “From 39 none will be able to follow through with consistent communication!”
The findings of the 2016 study seem to back up this claim. In the study, while women did receive more matches than men, they were also better instigators and communicators.
“Overall, we find that 21% of female matches send a message, whereas only 7% of male matches send a message,” the study reads. “Thus, women who match with us are 3 times more engaged than men.”
Jeremy later posted an update on his co-worker’s progress.
In summary, she has now whittled the number of men she’s talking to down to 17.
In the comments, Jeremy clarifies that this series shouldn’t be taken to say that men are completely hopeless in the modern dating world.
Responding to a commenter saying they were unsure of how to proceed knowing that their match is talking to many other people, he simply wrote, “Not all women are doing that. Just be yourself and if she doesn’t like it. Then let her go, king. Don’t change yourself for someone else.”
