Containment What If?

What if Chris worked alongside Phil Burnell (darksydephil) and Dobson to form a coalition called the League of Oppressed Lolcows (LOL) in an attempt to combat the trolls?
 
Those aliens would grow tired of his bitchiness and then horrified when they attempt to anal probe him resulting in them dropping him off and avoiding earth all together.

My same question.
 
What if Chris was the first Human to be discovered by aliens?

independence-day-los-angeles.gif
 
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