The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Ghostse]

Why lie about it, I guess.

Because lying is their entire existance.
They are troons, they lie about being women.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I’m not sure why this wouldn’t be real though. A negative balance would have been more damning, though I’m sure they have [...] some cash reserves.

This goes beyond Optimistic. We need a Pollyanna rating.

 

[Everything Beagle]

…they’re eventually going to have to rehome their alpacas,

Is there even a place to rehome alpacas?

 

[Shig O'nella]

Is there even a place to rehome alpacas?

Well, the wolves always have room for one more.

 

[Meiwaku]

Is there even a place to rehome alpacas?

Another Tranch probably. Or farm rescue. Sometimes ASPCA takes in farm animals.

@Näkki since you seem to be an Alpaca expert if you could please scrutinize this Convo. I'll also ask @Shig O'nella and @Oxyjen since if I remember correctly y'all are also homesteaders/farmers or have experience in that field of raising baby livestock/animals. (link)

Many of us spergged on colostrum

Lmao as if they have a vet.

"How did that happen" yeah we are asking the same thing. How do you NOT know one of your animals is pregnant? There shouldn't be any "surprise babies" there.

Secondary confirmation on number from the thread.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Another Tranch probably. Or farm rescue. Sometimes ASPCA takes in farm animals.

@Näkki since you seem to be an Alpaca expert if you could please scrutinize this Convo. I'll also ask @Shig O'nella and @Oxyjen since if I remember correctly y'all are also homesteaders/farmers or have experience in that field of raising baby livestock/animals. (link)
Wyświetl załącznik 3095408
Many of us spergged on colostrum
Wyświetl załącznik 3095402
Lmao as if they have a vet.
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"How did that happen" yeah we are asking the same thing. How do you NOT know one of your animals is pregnant? There shouldn't be any "surprise babies" there.
Wyświetl załącznik 3095427
Secondary confirmation on number from the thread.

The paca whisperer woman isn't saying anything wrong. Like I said, violent rejection does happen, it's very rare, and she seems to have drawn the shitstick with one of her crias. That's farming. Seems like a good hearted experienced sort offering advice is all.

Now, as to how you couldn't know which one was pregnant - suppose it's possible for a newish farmer to miss seeing it if the mother is fat in both sheep and some breeds of cow (not with goats, the uterus lays differently and it is always very obvious when they're pregnant). Alpacas I don't know enough about to say for certain either way, but since absolutely all of them we've seen are at least 10 kilos under optimum weight that excuse is out the window anyway.
The "found it abandoned" bit bothers me, but I can't put my finger on why. Not only does it sound like the bullshit your kids pull when they roll up home with a puppy in their pocket, I vaguely recall something about alpaca or llama babies sometimes being left in shelter while their mothers feed, but I can't remember where I'm remembering it from and it might be completely wrong. They're curiosities here more than livestock, so rarely get mentioned.

Editing to add: Holy fuck that last sentence is a runon nightmare, but I'm too tired to fix it. Hope it's clear enough.

 

[one_time_user]

They actually make me MOTI. I don't see how they can call themselves a rescue. By their standards auschwitz was also a rescue apparently.

 

[WhineMeDineMe69Me]

It wouldn't surprise me if Penny let the Tranch bank account dwindle down to nothing while opening another account that they have been using since Bonnie and Penny fell out and Bonnie made it clear he was out for good. I mean, if I had some spurned ex-member who had moved out to be with a crazy woman, and saw the two of them begging and going to food banks, I would let the account that could be accessed by them empty as well. What would really have stopped Kindness and Bonnie from making withdrawals to pay Kindness's rent or feed Bonnie the exorbitant amount of food he needs? If that's what Penny did, it's the first good decision he's ever made. What it all means for their taxes and the business I have no idea, but I wouldn't put it past him to let that be a problem for future Penny.

 

[Meiwaku]

I don't really care. These assholes abuse animals, eat their own rotting genitalia, falsely accuse their community of harassment and terrorism, beat up on lone women for expressing opinions, and endanger the neighborhood with their infrequent but shitty target practice. The gender issues are like fuzzy dice in the mirror of a hit-and-run. I have much bigger problems with these shitheels.

"Never pass up an opportunity to misgender the enemy"

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

 

[Smoke Manmuscle]

You left off the juiciest part:
Penny is looking to convert the ranch away from 5.7 moon ammo.
If that's not proof shit being over for good, I'm not sure what is.

Nah they’ll end up with .500 S&W. Cause they are dainty girls who can’t handle recoil.

 

[Boys Club Rhetoric]

I agree that Phil likely has other bank accounts too.

It wouldn't surprise me if Penny let the Tranch bank account dwindle down to nothing while opening another account that they have been using since Bonnie and Penny fell out and Bonnie made it clear he was out for good.

I have to agree. I know the Tranchers are straight up fucking morons, but surely even they'd be smart enough to think that leaving Boner with access to their account is a bad idea, and either move the money or cut off his access.

And if they're actually that dumb... then I hope Boner and Alyssa have occasionally helped themselves to some cash.

 

[WhineMeDineMe69Me]

I have to agree. I know the Tranchers are straight up fucking morons, but surely even they'd be smart enough to think that leaving Boner with access to their account is a bad idea, and either move the money or cut off his access.

And if they're actually that dumb... then I hope Boner and Alyssa have occasionally helped themselves to some cash.

It also just occurred to me that this could be one of the reasons Bonnie got off his flat ass and finally got a job. He was checking the accounts, maybe taking a bit here and there, and saw that the balance wasn't going up at all. He realized he wasn't going to have that to fall back on, and combined with Kindness going full "disabled", he realized he was going to have to get some cash coming in before they wound up on the street, lest he have to go crawling back to Penny after all that happened between them. Why he isn't demanding some rent from them, I have no idea, but they are all retarded, so who knows what's going on with that.

 

[Shig O'nella]

And if they're actually that dumb... then I hope Boner and Alyssa have occasionally helped themselves to some cash.

Why they probably did, the thought of Paul and Kindness reading your post then just looking at each other, stunned, going "We could have done that? Why didn't we do that!" is sending me to bed with a chuckle.

 

[Meiwaku]

Why they probably did, the thought of Paul and Kindness reading your post then just looking at each other, stunned, going "We could have done that? Why didn't we do that!" is sending me to bed with a chuckle.

If they did and Penny was joint on it then it would have started a sperg fit. Bonnie doesn't seem as confrontational as Penny does so the shitfit probably wasn't worth it

 

[Shig O'nella]

If they did and Penny was joint on it then it would have started a sperg fit. Bonnie doesn't seem as confrontational as Penny does so the shitfit probably wasn't worth it

Oh I know. For all his running his mouth at times, Paul isn't terribly brave. (Which is fine, Paul. Not everyone is. Just tone down the chat some)

The thought still amuses me though.

 

[Boys Club Rhetoric]

If they did and Penny was joint on it then it would have started a sperg fit. Bonnie doesn't seem as confrontational as Penny does so the shitfit probably wasn't worth it

That would imply that the Tranch is regularly auditing itself, or at least making some kind of effort to ensure the books somewhat balance, insofar as that's possible with their money pit.

This is all supposition of course, but I could also see them being dumb enough not to do that either.

 

[one_time_user]

Who's name is the rescue in? And the LLC?

 

[Meiwaku]

700 Pages
Chronological order from pg 600. Where we left off, Alyssa had entered the picture and Bonnie recently came out as a plural system.

• Still on Defcon 2 with Penny doing property checks Nov 23
• Penny shade Tweets Paul as the problem. Paul leaves with Alyssa
• Established the property is in the name of Sky & Bonnie
• Sky makes "a mistake" and Bonnie shade tweets about his Grand escape from the ranch
• Sky losing his shit on Twitter over fucking up with Bonner
• Penny started The Pre-Grift
• Paul was all alone for the holidays
• Paul and Alyssa are now doing drugs in the home of the dogs they are dogsitting for....
• Paul announces plans to get Alyssa on the ranch.
• Ash Coyote begins identifying as "intersex" (always a tranny cope)
• Horses visit the ranch
• Paul still trying to bring Alyssa to ranch lol

• At first I snorted in amusement at this statement, but then I realized you’re actually right, holy shit. Observe this side-by-side comparison table:
  Wyświetl załącznik 2767755
  
  What, you telling me a man who went from this
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  to this
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  was ever destined to not scare people?

  Alyssa is girl version of Penny: confirmed

• Paul and Alyssa have returned to the Tranch. It's a Gibesmas miracle!
  Wyświetl załącznik 2769541
  https://archive.ph/7vWpL
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  https://archive.ph/eOzuC
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  https://archive.ph/vNSJ4

  Paul and Alyssa return to the tranch to try to re-integrate.

• I've been doing some reading about twitter over the weekend and thought I should share this for the benefit of the class. When you create a twitter account, it has a numerical twitter id created for it that never changes. No matter how many times you change your @ username, if someone has the numerical twitter id, they can find the current @ username in seconds using the twitter API or through a website like tweeter id (which can provide either id or username).
  
  Who else tranch related needs to be added to this list?
  

  Spoiler

  ID username account creation date and time 1059121605261971462 TenaciousRanch 2018-11-04T16:34:03.000Z 4720908078 SteampunkPenny 2016-01-07T00:49:19.000Z 9823432 BonnieMakes 2007-10-31T13:38:00.000Z 1469060717483479045 RavenManifests (Paul's new account) > chokeonitkf 2021-12-09T21:47:38.000Z 28763613 TransSalamander 2009-04-04T08:27:30.000Z 745027578801491969 norintha 2016-06-20T22:56:31.000Z 1194684496454418432 Sky_Is_A_Void 2019-11-13T18:33:46.000Z 1085291612601794560 josiebean42 2019-01-15T21:44:18.000Z 1425552921026912258 NeptuneVulpis 2021-08-11T20:21:53.000Z 1421524385014374410 arcticpeonypupy > windypuppywench 2021-07-31T17:33:30.000Z 1467210855871881226 KindKinkster 2021-12-04T19:16:17.000Z 1166066335769477120 KindKinksterBTS > TheKindKinkster 2019-08-26T19:14:25.000Z 1138785693109559296 HaileyAdamsXXX 2019-06-12T12:30:41.000Z 545640747 AshCoyote 2012-04-05T00:31:01.000Z 1361121065246859270 transcucumber 2021-02-15T01:12:13.000Z 196458341 666dirtwitch 2010-09-29T04:13:19.000Z

  
  edit: apologies for the inadvertent tagging, username. added Paul's account info.

  Numerical Twitter ID for all troons associated with the Ranch and Gibesiverse found
• Tranch doing landscaping work
• Documentary stalled because of inner bickering according to recordings
• Troons build fence and is hit by windstorm. User informs of dry brush hazards that they're too lazy to pick up.
• Paul tries to make a crypto twitter, it is found that very day. He deletes it and changes the handle to "suckitKF"
• The tranch fucks up their brand new stove. Naturally a user figures out they didn't read the manual and solves their problem. Classic men.
• Winter grift part 1 starts
• Alyssa full dox dropped
• Penny does not impress the boys with his tacticool quick draw larp. Makes a seethe Tiktok over it saying he would rather shoot than talk.
• The Alpacas get a new tarp barn complete with three buttresses
• Alyssa gets her own thread
• Mutual Aids officially starts, naturally the first 5k go to a "family friend"
• Penny announces Earl is flying drones over property, all systems go.
• Wishlist for the mutual aids includes stuff definitely for Kevin and amazon Alpaca blankets lololol
• Wishlist and Grift Updates
• Pitbull puppy imminent announced from family they videod giving 5k too
• Autistic deep dive on wishlist crossovers and their grift plans
• Jarrod fucks up his car because he did something retarded to it in the summer that another farmer pointed out. Has a GFM.
• Penny's truck gets fucked up and has GFM
• Jarrod being fake woke about Amazon lol
• From TikTok Confirmed 12 people, 300 animals, "completely off grid"
• An anonymous donor bought them an $800 pellet feeder. Uncanny Valley Ranch, granny tranny ranch inspired by TUR, is also checked on and has flooded! Penny is suspiciously looking for Narcan...
• Tranch wins a Julay for best Community Lolcow!!
• I got autistic and goldmined some shit that's funny
• Jen deep dive and Rares. Jen outed as famous Something Awful helldump about eating poop (below)
• Jen's amhole sex tape and other tranch lore(below)

• Part 1: Twitter and rare Jens
  
  Part 2: mastodon lewdposting
  
  Part 3: the old tranch
  
  Part 4: summary of the above content

  Summary of full dives on early tranch and Jen
• User talks about how they bought the yarn as a gift but never received it
• Former person who worked with the tenacious unicorn ranch is seething over treatment
• White ma'ams burden: completed, first delivery done. Penny announces it will be bi- monthly sagas. E-begs for gas. Delivered old useless rug wool to natives too

• This is legitimately infuriating. There are detailed requests by individual families on what they need in that last link. -sic-

  Summary of where the tranch fucked up and how this isn't for da natives
• One of the yard ftms reveals they didn't have enough money to feed their animals
• A great description how to actually help natives and why the Tranch is retarded
• All injections accounted for counting serfs and main troons giving theres 12.
• The Tranch solicits knitters for donations. One makes shit with owls on it (which is a bad omen to natives) whoopsies!
• No more landscaping. now, Home Renovations !
• New Tractor Arc from Penny's Relative!
• Kevin explains Blates to us and that they're going to the next furry convention as the charity (DenFurCo)....
• Kevin gets the coof and infects the whole ranch
• The furcon is cancelled in an absolute dumpsterfire of events that involves fraud and money laundering.
• Windy (skinny blonde tranny) is investigated. Speculations as to junkie.
• Sky's egg cracked
• The tranch subtweets someone perhaps Paul who they thought was a friend and is a coward
• (Valentines cards for jokes made)
• Part 1 Winter Grift shuts down at $1377
• Second White Ma'am's burden is delivered. E-begging for gas continues
• Kindness announces publicly Paul has a small dick. Paul says Kindness ruined his life in the best way, naturally.
• Bonnie is removed as "wife" in Sky's pinned tweet.
• Tranch announces they Stan Kiev. Female serfs beg for money, penny still drywalling away with the team
• Penny gets two teeth pulled because he never brushes them
• Circulating memes on Twitter and Reddit of the Tranch in their LARP gear going to Kiev
• Ftm serfs get half dived, all her finances are in Jarrod's name. She deletes after
• Penny gets sick. Surely couldn't be from not wearing a mask in the dusty drywalling.
• Thread celebrates 1 year tranniversay
• In the alyssa thread, sky is now flirting with her and Bonnie is to be cucked.
• 100 year old house reno begins, it's going about as good as you'd think.
• Paul opens up Twitter again. Confirms Alyssa is going to bang Sky.
• A cria is born because the tards didn't realize an alpaca was pregnant, they found her in the field allegedly and now it's indoors. Resident farmers weigh in explaining alpaca rearing.
• Paul throwing shade to Penny accusing him of stealing gun lights and having $9 in the tranch account. Users speculate he's playing both sides of the field ...
• Olivia the new Baby Cria has died allegedly from sepsis. Penny starts a new foundation over this for Camelid Plasma
• But what will happen next? Find out on the next 100 pages of TRANCH!

To 700 More

Tax season coming soon!

I'm pretty sure I got everything but I might have missed something let me know

 

[Everything Beagle]

Another Tranch probably. Or farm rescue. Sometimes ASPCA takes in farm animals.

@Näkki since you seem to be an Alpaca expert if you could please scrutinize this Convo. I'll also ask @Shig O'nella and @Oxyjen since if I remember correctly y'all are also homesteaders/farmers or have experience in that field of raising baby livestock/animals. (link)
Wyświetl załącznik 3095408
Many of us spergged on colostrum
Wyświetl załącznik 3095402
Lmao as if they have a vet.
Wyświetl załącznik 3095407
"How did that happen" yeah we are asking the same thing. How do you NOT know one of your animals is pregnant? There shouldn't be any "surprise babies" there.
Wyświetl załącznik 3095427
Secondary confirmation on number from the thread.

So, they'd have to tail-check approximately 100 alpacas (going on my idea of half of them being girls and half being boys). Gosh, it couldn't be TOO MANY ALPACAS FOR THEM TO HANDLE, could it?

 

[Old Fart]

Speaking of toys, perhaps that could be a solution to the tranch's financial woes? From what we've seen of the hoard before, I actually think there might be 10-20k dollars "worth" of toys there. Call it a rent payment.

I think all that plastic only gains some value in 20-30 years. They'd be better off selling Kevin for medical experimentation. After all it's not as if he does anything useful at all; Phil is working himself sick but Kevin can't even be arsed to learn anything about alpaca husbandry in over two years.

As it stands, the Tranch -again- falls victim to its complete lack of focus. They're an alpaca rescue, no wait a tranny resort, no wait a self-supplying off-grid community, no wait a donation funded charity. By now they've burned through their reserves, the donations dried up (and that may get worse with inflation), at least one key person left and the remaining staff fall short of expectations.

They have to come up with a rescue plan really soon or stop the operation altogether before they default on their loans. But to start with, the alpacas have to go.