Ralph has mastered the art of cope. He's so fucking delusional that after getting his fat ass destroyed in Portugal, he still thinks he can try to act tough by going "yeah i wudda smashed this motherfucker's skull in with a bat!!" and people would buy it. Newsflash, Ralph, even a woman can deal damage with a baseball bat. You're not regaining any manhood with a threat like that.
Him unironically calling Jim an old man/senior citizen despite Jim only being 4 years older than him never fails to make me chuckle. What a senseless fuck.
Him saying that Jim's "living like a fake" is the best. Yes, Jim's not living his life to the fullest. He should be wasting his finances on gambling and nevada hookers, fucking e-whores and knocking up as many mentally ill high schoolers with daddy issues as possible whilst fighting custody battles, assault charges, restraining orders, etc if he wants to truly live the Ralphamale (TM) life style.
Jim and Jade living a quiet, peaceful life with their families there to support them? Not tying the internet to their real lives? Utter pussies. Jim needs to have as many bastard children as possible to be a MAN. Staying with the same woman for nearly 10 years and developing a deep, loving relationship? Insanity! Loyalty to your partner is for LOSERS, dump Jade and prowl around the nearest high school for the next fertile teenager or two to carry your bastard offspring. Having friends? Shameful. Burn every single bridge you've ever built across your entire life if someone even dares to say something you disagree with. If you're not acting brashly without considering the consequences of your actions, you're just not living a life worth living, at least to Ralph.
