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I dunno, sounds like something that would summon The Great Old Ones and that's a best case scenario.

Well, @Probably An Autist made a pretty good text generator for another one of the lolcows I follow, Naru. If anyone can and will do it, it's...

Just scraped his last month's worth of tweets. The Markov generator I downloaded wasn't working, so I'm gonna leave that part as an exercise for...