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I got you friendo. Luckily Melinda hasn't discovered the Bonsai Buddy I hacked onto her computer using MS Paint. I found the pic you were looking...

I mean, as a member of the Orthodox Church I would describe you as a blasphemer and a heretic, so it's pointless to talk about religious doctrine...

If every single man you've tried to get with hasn't been righteous, what gives you the authority to judge other people for being happily...

Well yes, but also he was eating a bacon cheese burger whiles doing it so that’s why I asked.