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While this is a highly amusing bit of fanfiction, I really think the simplest explanation is the likeliest: yes, Bob and The Chippa are indeed...

You don't need 100% protection to justify masks, but given how Chris wears it and how he touches the outside of the mask every few seconds, I'm...

Gonna go with #2. 3 is the funniest, but that requires someone to be attracted to her. Since she's not that attractive herself, that only leaves...